


A Very Long Lasting Crush

by TerresDeBrume



Category: Chobits, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle, xxxHoLic
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cherry Drink, Coming Out, Depression, F/F, F/M, First Kiss, First Meetings, First Time, Gen, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Streetfight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-22
Updated: 2009-06-22
Packaged: 2017-10-23 23:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 34
Words: 50,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/256202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerresDeBrume/pseuds/TerresDeBrume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"If it's only a crush," Fai laughed softly, "then it's a very long-lasting one!"</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Double Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> **Disclaimer:** None of the characters used here are mine ^^'

It was the third of September, it was cold, and it was raining. Tomoyo Daidouji, tightly wrapped in her red and black coat, her red umbrella shining with rain, was jumping happily between water pools, enjoying the splashing sound her actions produced, all the while directing herself toward her school's entrance. She spotted her best friends, Touya Kinomoto and Yukito Tsukihiro, who were waiting for her under the courtyard, and ran toward them.

"Ohayô Gozaimasu!" she sang happily, "How are you?"

"Fine." Yukito answered. "Australia is a fascinating country, I loved it!"

"How can you say that when you spent half of the holidays lying on your bed because of your sunstrokes?" Touya exclaimed, obviously not understanding his friend.

Tomoyo giggled at that. It was true that Yukito, like her, had a very pale skin, and was often subject to sunstrokes. However, when the Kinomoto family had invited him to spend the summer holidays with them in Australia, he had accepted without second thought, glad as he was to discover a new country. Tomoyo had met the two boys two years before, but she knew they had known each other since they were born, living in the same street since the beginning of their lives. Now the three of them were eight years old, and very close friends.

"Shall we go and see the classes' lists?" Yukito suggested with a smile.

"Yes!" Tomoyo agreed. "I hope we'll be together this year!"

The children's school was named the Tomohura Complex For Education, and provided almost every kind of studies from pre-school years to college years. The creator of the school –whose name was Clow Reed- had originally intended it only for children who were either born in Japan or of Japanese origins, but this had been a century before… Since then, the school had gained in size and students, and there were only a few classes per year where children had to speak Japanese during their days, and where they were taught how to write and read it. The 'J Section' was now the one that concentrated all the Japanese children, while the rest of the students were a representation of every other ethnies present in the United States. Since Tomoyo had entered the school, she had never been in Touya and Yukito's class, and she hoped it would change for this year.  
Most of their classmates were looking at the lists, while the students who were not in the J Section followed their parents inside (the J Section's children were taught to take care of themselves earlier than the others). Tomoyo, being the tallest of the three, was the first to have a look at the lists, and she giggled happily when she saw her name on the same list as her friends'.

"The three of us are in the Sakura Class!" she announced, before going back to her inspection of the list. "Daisuke and Hikari are with us, too… Oh! There's a new boy, too!"

"Really?" Yukito asked curiously. "What's his name?"

"Flowright Yuui."

"Doesn't sound Japanese to me." Touya stated.

"That's because my father is Norwegian." A light voice answered from behind Yukito. "My mother is Japanese, but I don't really look like she does, do I?"

Yuui Flowright was a small and skinny blonde boy, with ice-blue eyes and a bright smile. He wore a light white coat with fur on its hood and wrists, as well as blue swirls on its shoulders. His hair was soaking wet, sticking to the side of his face, because he had let his hood down despite the rain.

"You know my name, but I don't know yours, yet…" Yuui stated. "Can you give them to me?"

"Of course!" Tomoyo chirped. "I am Daidouji Tomoyo and they" she pointed toward Touya and Yukito, "are my friends Kinomoto Touya and Tsukihiro Yukito."

"Those are nice names… Can I call you by your first names, or do you prefer me to go the Japanese way?"

"Do as you wish." Touya groaned while looking away, causing a few raindrops to fall from his brown leather jacket in the process.

Yuui gave a warm smile and was about to add something when the bell rang, and a teacher called out for the student:

"Sakura Class! Come with me, please!"

Tomoyo motioned for Yuui to come along and followed the tall, black-haired and red-eyed woman in front of them. Yuuko-sensei was by far her favorite, and she hoped the new boy would like her as well.  
They took their places in the room and Yuui, being the only one who was new to the school –the others having studied there for at least two years- had to introduce himself to the class by answering Yuuko-Sensei's weird questions:

" _Ever tasted of sake?_ " She asked with a smirk.

" _My parents don't drink sake, they prefer wine._ " Yuui answered –and to everybody's surprise, his Japanese was not stained by the slightest of accent. " _But I drank Vodka once, when they weren't home and my nurse thought I was sleeping._ " He had a fond smile when he said that, as though he were remembering some endearing memory. " _It felt like sandpaper._ "

Yuuko-Sensei smirked, and Touya grunted on Tomoyo's left, slightly despising. As far as she was concerned, Tomoyo was rather surprised by Yuui's ease. Two years before, when _she_ had had to answer's Yuuko-Sensei's crazy inquiries, she had felt very clumsy and akward, because she didn't know how to answer it… but Yuui did not seem to find it strange.

" _Any grown up relative?_ " Yuuko-Sensei went on.

" _Nanako-San's not my relative, I think. And Okasan says Dad and her never really grew up. So none, I guess._ "

" _Last question: what's your favourite nickname?_ "

" _Yuuai, but I cannot be called that when I'm alone._ "

Tomoyo exchanged a surprised look with Yukito, who was sitting on her right side, while Touya arched his left eyebrow… He often did that when he was interested in something weird. Yuuko-Sensei released Yuui, who walked back to the desk he had claimed, in front of Touya's. He sat next to a girl named Hikari, who had chesnut hair, light brown eyes and a sweet smile. After that, the first half of the day went very smoothly, until the bell rang to announce lunchtime.  
Tomoyo had thought Yuui would come with Touya, Yuykito and her, but as soon a Yuuko-Sensei dismissed their class, he darted toward the door and ran across the corridors without waiting for them. Touya was the first one to start chasing after him, quickly followed by Yukito and Tomoyo.

When they reached the playground, they did not see Yuui at first but then, they spotted him next a great oak-tree, his blue t-shirt –at least three sizes too big for him- floating to the wind. The sun had finally decided to show itself, and the air was much warmer than it had been in the early morning… In fact, one could have thought to be living a spring day.

"Did he change his t-shirt?" Yukito asked when he saw him. "I thought it was white…"

Touya shrugged and walked toward the blonde boy, while Tomoyo and Yukito exchanged confused looks. Yuui was sitting on the floor with a big illustrated book in his lap, his concentration so intense he didn't even hear the three other kids approaching him.

"Why didn't you wait for us?" Touya asked when they reached him. "That's not very nice."

"Uh?"

Yuui didn't seem to grasp the meaning of Touya's question, and shot him a look of surprise, but Touya wouldn't believe it and insisted:

"Why didn't you wait for us?"

"Um… Because I don't know you?" The blonde offered as an answer.

Touya was about to retort something (and Yukito was beginning to fear a fight) when a light voice rang behind them:

"I was looking for you!" Yuui exclaimed while jumping on Touya's back, pressing his white t-shirt on his shoulders. "This is my brother, Fai. We're twins!"

"Well, no kidding Sherlock!" Touya sighed.

"You're really alike!" Tomoyo said.

"Yes, we know!" The twins said in unison.

"Say," Yuui added, "can we eat together?"

To everyone's surprise, it was Touya who agreed, and they followed Yuuko-Sensei to the cafeteria, the twins chattering happily about their first day of school in the United States.


	2. Love At First Sight?

" _It's soooooooooo huuuuuuuuuuge!"_

_Yuui tried to whistle, but all that came out was a poor 'Hyuu' and he laughed._

" _Tomo-Chan, are you very rich?" Fai asked._

" _Oh yes she is." Touya grunted as an answer. "And it's worse from the inside."_

_Tomoyo giggled and motioned for her friends to follow her. The twins obeyed silently, their eyes still wide in surprise at the size of the… Well… Mansion, standing in front of them. They went through the front yard in silence, passing by tall trees and very expansive-looking cars, before they rang the door's bell, Tomoyo's Driver still behind them. A maid opened the door barely seconds later and let them in. Tomoyo was heading straight for the kitchen, along with Touya and Yukito, when they realized that the twins were not following… In fact, they stood in front of the great ebony staircase, their smiles even wider than their eyes._

" _It's a bit too big, isn't it?" Tomoyo asked, blushing._

" _No!" the two blonde boys denied in unison, their heads shaking violently. "They're perfect!"_

" _Perfect for what?" Yukito wondered._

" _You never-" Fai gasped._

" _Rode a slope of staircase?" Yuui whispered, ending the sentence. "How sad!"_

" _What do you mean?" Touya asked, raising his eyebrows. "How can you ride it?"_

_The twins looked at each other, a mischevious grin spreading on Yuui's lips, who grabbed Fai's wrist and ran toward the top of the staircase._

" _What are you do-"_

_But Yukito could not finish his sentence: with a yell of pleasure, Yuui and Fai were already slidding down the slope, and Tomoyo was giggling helplessly, steadying herself on Touya's shoulder._

**oOo**

 

It had been more than two years since the twin's first visit to the Daidouji mansion. They were now almost aged of ten, and there was less than two month to their birthday, now… but it was not preoccupied them right now. It was a bright Sunday afternoon, and their best friends –Tomoyo, Touya and Yukito- had promised to come and visit them. Their nurse, Nanako-San, had baked French and Norwegian pastries, as she always did in those cases… After all, the twins had lived in France for the first seven years and a half of their lives, and they liked French cooking… and besides, Nanako-San herself had always liked French pastries.  
Yuui and Fai lived with their parent in a large flat, which covered entirely the last stage of their building. There was a garden on the roof with top-security, providing a slide, a swing, and everything ten-years old children could wish for… And a sauna –it had been set here for their parents, but the twins sometimes liked to use it as well. For now, the two Flowright children were playing in the kitchen, waiting for the doorbell to ring… time passed by, with no hint of any arrival, until a ringing sound could be heard.

Yuui ran to the front door, but stopped abruptly when he saw his mother pick up the phone. Fai, who had followed him, took his hand and entangled their fingers, while Mayura smiled. They didn't listen to what she said, too disappointed that their friends were not here yet. However, as soon as they entered the kitchen again, they heard their mother call for them:

"Prenez vos manteaux les garçons, on part à l'hôpital ! "

"A l'hôpital ?" Yuui asked, a bit worried. "Pourquoi ?"

"Sonomi vient d'accoucher, et Tomoyo voudrait que vous veniez voir son petit frère avec elle." (1)

With joyful cries, the twins got their coats and came back to their mother in record time, fully dressed to get out in the freezing air of December. They followed Mayura to the street and then her car, a red and white Mini –Frey, their father, rarely used it –it was way too small for him- preferring his motor bike. Mayura checked that her sons' belts were secured, then took her place in the driver's seat, and set off toward the hospital.

 

**oOo**

 

Sonomi Daidouji was tall, black haired, very pale, and she must have been a queen in some previous life. There was something in her –something that she seemed to have given to her daughter- that was almost royal, or at least noble, in the way she moved, the way she spoke… Tomoyo had that, too, and the twins liked to tease her by calling her Tomoyo-Hime.

" _Ohayo gozaimas_!" Sonomi greeted when the three Flowright entered her room. "I'm glad you could come."

Tomoyo left her bedside and walked hastily to Fai and Yuui, hugging them with all her strength.

"I'm so glad it's a boy!" she whispered.

"You'd have been glad even with some sort of mutant!" Yuui smiled softly. "You love everyone!"

Tomoyo giggled, while Fai went to the baby's bed. He looked at his small, pale face, the thin but already dark hair, the small hands pointing out of the red blanket and the small dragon-shaped rattle.

"What's his name?" he asked.

"Ssshh! Not that loud!" Tomoyo hushed. "You'll wake him up!"

Too late: the newborn was already shifting in his bed, and it was not long before he began to cry and shout as loud as his lungs allowed it, filling the room with painful noise.

"Oh, Kurogane!" Sonomi sighed. "He doesn't know that he can be awaken and silent at the same time, yet!"

"I hope our brother or sister won't be that loud!" Yuui laughed, nodding toward his mother, who had been pregnant for three month. "Otherwise Pappa won't like it… Will he?"

"Indeed he won't!" Mayura laughed.

Kurogane was still crying furiously, swinging his balled fists in the air, when the room's door opened to reveal Hiromu Daidouji, Tomoyo and Kurogane's father.

"My, my, my!" He smiled. "Sounds like my big boy finally woke up!"

"Is it for the better? I do wonder…" His wife sighed before he bent forward and kissed her.

Meanwhile, Yuui had gotten nearer to Kurogane's bed and was looking at him, one hand on Fai's, the other one laying on Tomoyo's shoulder.

"Hyuuuuuuu!" He emitted in a failed attempt to whistle, "Kuro-Baby's reaaaaaaaaaally loud! You should stop crying, or you'll hurt your throat!"

Kurogane instantly fell silent and set large, red eyes on Yuui, who smiled widely.

"See? It's better like that!"

His smile broadened and Kurogane smiled in return even though babies -according to the Doctors- could not.

"Dear Lord!" Hiromu grinned. "That's what I'd call Love at first sight!"

Kurogane, as though he had understood everything, frowned and went back to crying as quickly as he had stopped, which caused everyone to laugh.

"I think," Yuui smiled while Sonomi took her son in her arms, "That Kuro-Puu will be a hot tempered boy!"

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) "Pick up your coats boys, we're going to the hospital."
> 
> "To the hospital?"…"Why?"
> 
> "Sonomi's baby is born, and Tomoyo would like you to come and visit her little brother with her."


	3. Pressing Foreheads & Exchanging Pajamas

" _Chérie, tu ne devrais pas te lever!"_ _Frey sighed heavily when he saw his wife sitting in the kitchen with Nanako-San and the twins. "Le Docteur a bien précisé repos_ complet _!" (1)_

_Mayura smiled to her husband and answered in Japanese that she was not made of sugar._

_"Besides," she added in English, "I must be present for my boys' first lesson, otherwise I wouldn't be a good mother, would I?"_

_Frey opened his mouth, but closed it again without uttering a single word. He sighed again, and followed his wife and sons toward the elevator. The twins, unaware of the situation, were bouncing happily, pestering their mother with questions such as "Mor, do you think the baby will like sugar?" (2) and other endearing silliness. Under any other circumstances, Frey would have smiled, but really, he was too worried for his wife and baby's safety to be able to do so._

_Of course, the twins didn't notice anything, looking forward as they were to get to their first music lesson. None of them had picked up an instrument yet: they were only supposed to have a go at everything and see what they liked most during the next few weeks, then they would be able to start and study more seriously._

Yuui held his guitar absent-mindedly, his slim fingers stroking a cord from time to time. Kurogane was sound asleep, lost in peaceful dreams Yuui would have envied him, had he been in a more 'present' state. Apart from the two boys, the room was empty and silent, only caressed by soft murmurs coming from the living room downstairs, and the small breathing of the six-month-old baby. Yuui sighed and laid down on the large bed, his eyes fixed on the ceiling, feeling emptier than ever.

_"Oh, pitié, déccroche…" (03) Mayura bit her nail nervously while clinging to the phone. Finally, after a few minutes of waiting, she heard the line click as someone picked up the phone, and she asked urgently: "Sonomi?"_

_"Mayura… It's nearly midnight and…"_

_"Please, Sonomi!" Mayura cut in haste. "The baby's coming, and Frey's not home, and I need someone to take care of the twins, and… oh, please, Sonomi, come here as quickly as possible!"_

_Yuui and Fai, standing near their mother, watched worriedly as she sat down on the floor, waiting for the front door to open. She drew deep, but sharp intakes of breath, her forehead and face covered with sweat, her fingers trembling._

_"Mor, tout va bien?"(4) Fai asked, shifting to French to address his mother._

_Mayura nodded bravely, clutching on her drenched dress, trying to hide the blood flooding down her legs. Maybe, if the twins had not been so impatient for the baby to come, they would have noticed the large red stain, and they would have been worried… But before they could see it, Sonomi and Hiromu had already pushed the door open, and brought Mayura outside. Yuui and Fai didn't try to disobey when Sonomi told them that she would bring them to the Kinomoto's for the night…_

But had he known what had been going on, Yuui _would_ have protested. It was his mother, after all, and, well… as young as he was, he was not the type of boy who would let his beloved ones face danger alone.

_The Doctors had told she needed rest, and she had complied, trying not to move too quickly, not to overwork herself. Then they had said she needed to stop walking, and she had complied, leaving her bed only once, to accompany her sons to their music lessons… still, she could feel life running out of reach, out of her, and as much as she tried to grab it, somewhere deep inside, she knew she wouldn't survive. The Doctor who had helped her to give birth to the twins had told her so: she was too small, too weak. Another child could kill her… in spite of that, she didn't want to turn down a chance to have another baby, because it was how she was: she had always been a mother in nature, and nothing, not even the prospect of death, could have turned her instinct off._

Sitting alone in the room, forced to face the horrible truth, Yuui couldn't help but wonder if his father's presence would have changed anything. Not for his mother, but for his father himself… Sonomi had told the twins that he had tried to get to the hospital as quickly as possible, and he was driving too fast... She had said that, because of that, his motorbike had left the road and he had hitten a tree, killing himself. Surely, had he been home that night, he wouldn't have been in such a hurry, and therefore would not have missed that fateful turn... Surely, had he been home that night, he would have been alive now, and Yuui would be crying on his lap, his brother's hand in his, not caring for anything else than his grief.

_Sonomi was here, having returned as soon as the twins had been reunited with Touya, Kurogane and Tomoyo. She had only known Mayura for two years, but even so, they were very close friends… Nadeshiko would have been here, too, if she hadn't had to take care of nearly all the children… But Sonomi was alone in the corridor, walking back and forth while pulling at her hair. Five paces from the ugly green-ish seats to the wall, twenty three and a half from the wall to the water fountain, fourteen from the fountain to the seats… it was unbearable. Sonomi had just resorted to either scare a nurse until she got information, or stomp in the operational block, when a Doctor came out, a very stern look in his golden eyes, and she instantly knew she should brace herself. She barely had time to wish that Hiromu would come in right now, saying that Frey was about to be here, too, before the fateful words were uttered:_

_"I am sorry. We have done all that was humanly possible… but…"_

_"How is the baby?"_

_If he didn't speak the words, she could still pretend it was not true… she needed that to be able to go on with her task._

_"One of them was dead when we pulled her out. The other one has been taken to the nursery… she's fine, and strong. She'll make it."_

_"Did… did Mayura have time to name her?"_

_"Yes." The man answered from behind his dark hair. "She also had a message for you."_

_"What is it?"_

_"She said you should look in her bedside table's drawer, as soon as possible. I suppose there is something there she wanted you to see."_

_Sonomi nodded in acknowledgement, thanked the man –Doctor Soma, he was called- and walked out of the hospital, looking for her husband. He knew before she told him, that Mayura was dead, and she didn't utter a single word: if she spoke, she would start to cry, and she had more important things to do._

_Sonomi had taken things into her hands. Serious, but also caring and tender, she had spoken to the twins, explaining them what had happened to their parents… explaining them that they would now live at the Daidouji's, too, because it was what their mother had wished for them, in case her husband could not take care of them._

It had been a full week since that fateful night, and Yuui had not cried yet. Not once, not a single tear… nor had he been able to be alone with his brother more than a few minutes: Fai was so exhausted by his grief that he fell asleep long before bedtime, and Yuui never dared to wake him up. There was also Chii. Hiromu had told him that Fai and him had to be brave boys for Chii's sake, and Yuui knew his brother would be as wiling as he was to fulfill that duty… but she, how would she feel? How do you feel, when half of you is dead even before you can properly acknowledge his or her presence? This was what made Yuui feel truly sad. He knew that _he_ wouldn't have been able to cope with Fai's death, or even departure, and he was afraid that his little sister would be suffering forever from the loss of the other one… or Freya, as he had decided to name her. She deserved a name, after all, and Freya was an homage to Mayura as well as to Frey… It was the best name he had found.

_In movies, it was always cloudy for burials, though sometimes, there was bright and warm sun bathing the scene… on the twentieth days of june that year, it had been raining all night, and it would probably persist all days, according to Fujitaka Kinomoto… and in fact, once the twins had stepped outside, it didn't take long to them to be soaked to the bones. They didn't care, to tell the truth. Savanah's rain was not really cold to them, and after all, it was not as though those details were of any importance anymore now, was it?  
They had followed the cortege quietly, looking straight before them, their hands never letting go of each other's. Yuui could still feel his brother's fingers' pressure on his own, and that had been the only thing to feel good in that day._

There was no name on the guitar, yet, and no one knew who had chosen to study it… well, apart from the twins themselves, of course. It had been carelessly laid down on Sonomi and Hiromu's bed, and no one had thought to move it outside the room until now. Yuui sighed and laid it back, getting up, when the door opened itself to reveal Fai's face. His eyes were red with unshed tears, his cheek pale in exhaustion, and Yuui frowned in concern, not realizing that he looked exactly the same.

"Sonomi a dit de se mettre en pyjama…"

"J'arrive." (5)

Yuui gave one last look toward his guitar and kissed Kurogane's cheek, before following his brother toward their bedroom. At least, they were not lost in the house: Sonomi had given them the room they used to sleep in, when they had sleepovers, just across Tomoyo's bedroom.

The pajamas waiting for them were the last ones their mother had bought for them. They were of a light blue color, with very large pants and sleeveless shirts… and most of all, Mayura had embroidered each twin's initial on the pajama's chest. Yuui and Fai looked at each other with sadness, but also understanding in their eyes, and they grabbed their pajamas shirts… Yuui to the 'F' one, and Fai took the other, the one with a 'Y'.

"Is everything alright, boys?" Nadeshiko asked, poking her head around the door.

"Yes." The twins nodded in unison.

"But," Yuui said, "we have to go and tell the Conservatory what instrument we choose…"

"That's alright Fai," Nadeshiko smiled. "Sonomi will take you there tomorrow."

Yuui stole a glance to Fai, who nodded imperceptibly, and he knew they would not take their true names back. They kissed Nadeshiko on the cheeks, then climbed into their respective bed, waiting for Sonomi and the other to come and bid them good night.  
When the lights were over, and not a sound could be heard in the house anymore, Yuui –well, he should call himself Fai, now- felt something weighing on his bed, as his brother joined him under the blanket.

The twins entangled their fingers together, and pressed their foreheads against each other's.

"Dis", one of them breathed –and it was not important to know which one he was, really, "on restera toujours ensemble?"

"Toujours. C'est une promesse." (6)

They fell asleep like that, silent tears finally finding their way out of their chests and throats, dreaming of what life would have been if their parents and both of their sisters had survived…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)"Darling, you shouldn't get up!" … "The Doctor precised total rest!"
> 
> (2)'Mor' is the Norwegian (and Swedish^^) word for 'Mum'.
> 
> (3) "Oh, please, pick it up…"
> 
> (4) "Mor, is everything all right?"
> 
> (5) "Sonomi said it was time to put on our pajamas…"
> 
> "I'm coming."
> 
> (6) "Say" … "We'll always be together?"
> 
> "Forever. It's a promise."


	4. Mark the Father's Word

No one knew the twins had exchanged their names.

They had feared Tomoyo would guess, but if she had, she didn't show it, and it was all for the better. Why they had done it was another matter… As far as he could remember 'Fai' had always exchanged clothes with his brother, when he needed to feel 'Yuui' was by his side. It gave him the possibility of inspiring his smell, and somehow imagining Yuui was holding his hand, and that was a comforting thought because as long as they were together, nothing could happen to them, nothing mattered. When Yuui and him had exchanged their pajamas shirt, on their parents burial's evening, it had not been anything more than that: a way of getting closer, leaning in the other's comforting presence, feeling better because they knew they were both here to support each other… when Nadeshiko, not knowing they had switched shirts, had mistaken them for one another, they had decided not to tell her the truth, without really knowing what that meant.  
Perhaps, Fai reflected, they still didn't know. It had only been a year and a half since their parents' death, and being almost eleven was probably not old enough to understand what it meant to take another person's name, be it your twin brother. Still, Fai did not regret it. He knew he had been Yuui, once, and he also knew that now, he was always with his brother, even when they were not at the same place, and that was a comforting thought to have.

When they had had to go back to school, they had feared to be discovered again… Yuui –the new Yuui- had always been good in mathematics, while he, 'Fai' preferred English, and other Literary subjects. When they exchanged their places in class, too, the teachers had been worried about their results' sudden change. However, no one had guessed the truth, assuming it was the loss of their parents that had perturbed the Flowright boys… and in a strange way, they were right. Because one could exchange names, but not personalities…  
All in all, once Yuui and Fai were settled at the Daidouji's, things went rather smoothly –apart from a few close calls, in the beginning, when they were still adjusting to their new names- and the twins quickly acquired a new daily routine.

Each morning, Nanako-San –whom Sonomi had engaged to keep on taking care of the twins- would come to wake them up, often finding them in the same bed, with their foreheads pressed together –a gesture they had transformed into an habit. Then, they would wash and dress up as quickly as they could, and meet Tomoyo in the kitchen, where they ate their breakfast. Sometimes, when they had woken up, Chii or Kurogane would be here to greet them, though it didn't happen that often.  
Then, the three of them met Touya and Yukito outside the house, and Yuzuki-Chan –one of Sonomi's maid- would take them to the school. They would spend the day in their respective classes –Yuui and Fai had been placed together, probably because the teachers had thought it would be less disturbing for them. Usually, the twins didn't play with people they didn't know. Sure enough, if Tomoyo or Yukito brought someone along they would accept him –Touya rarely invited someone else to play with the five of them- but they never spontaneously invited anyone.

At the end of the day, they would go back home, and sit down in the great living room to do their homework, Kurogane and Chii playing around them, sometimes walking, sometimes crawling, often willing to climb on one of the kid's lap.  
When homework was over, the three children would either go and play with the two youngest, or go at the Kinomoto's, or at the Tsukihiro's to play with Touya and Yukito.

One late February evening, on the twin's birthday party –their actual birthday was due on next Monday, so they had chosen to advance the party a little- all of the friend had gathered in the neat dining room, with funny party-hats and some sort of weird whistles that made a duck-like sound and extended a piece of paper when they did so. Nanako-san had told them that in France, they called that 'Langues de Grand-Mères', which meant 'Grandmother's Tongues'. The kid had laughed at that.  
The evening had been great so far: the kids had enjoyed themselves, while Kurogane and Chii had spent the entire afternoon babbling to each other –they had been trying to speak for some times, now, but had not yet succeeded to pronounce correctly any of their friends' or parents' name. Nanako-San had cooked an entire French meal, which had pleased everyone –though Sonomi and the other adults, being used to Japanese food, found it a bit insipid.

When the cake was brought –a splendid ' _Mille-Feuilles_ ' with vanilla Icing and a writing that said "Joyeux Anniversaire Fai et Yuui" (1) everyone began to sing, before the twins blew the numerous candles –twenty two for the two of them. Then, while they opened their presents, Tomoyo took her little brother on her knees and smiled to him.

"Now, who's birthday is it? Can you tell Kurogane?"

Usually, the boy would have pointed toward the twins with his tiny hand, uttering something like 'Aaiui', which sounded like a failed attemps at pronouncing the twins' names… after all, he could not pronounce any name correctly, yet. However, this time, when he opened his mouth, what came out was firm "Fai!".

"Yes, Kuro-kun, I am Fai." The older boy said, smiling fondly.

"Soooooooo!" Hiromu said, laughing softly. "Yuui got his first smile, now Fai's got his first proper word beside 'Mom' or 'Dad'… I say one of you will have his first kiss, mark my word!"

The twins laughed and Kurogane frowned before burying his face in Tomoyo's neck, stealing occasional glances at Fai.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) I don't know what name you give to this cake, the "One Thousand Leaves"… Actually, I don't even know if it's easily found in English-speaking countries ^^' It has a square form and a white icing with thin brown waves drawn on it… Nanako-San made a special one (btw, you probably have guessed that the writing means "Happy Birthday" ^^)


	5. Akward Moments

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** None of the characters used here are mine ^^'

It had been two years since the Flowright children had moved in at the Daidouji's. They now acted as full members of the family, and were considered as such anyway, loving and being loved by Tomoyo, Kurogane and their parents. Of course, it was not easy everyday: the three older kids, being twelve, were approaching that time in life when everything suddenly goes from fun, simple and seemingly unbreakable to complicated, fragile and frightening. Of course, there were positive points to that, too, like experiencing the first bits of 'love interests' as Nadeshiko would have called it.

It first struck the group –which, by that time, was already bound together forever- with the form of a new sport teacher, whose name was Sha Gojyo. He was a tall, muscled and tanned man, with eyes as red as his hair, who liked to teach, and liked to flirt… Which, according to him were "absolutely not excluding each other"… no one, at first, had understood what he meant, until the first lesson began.  
His favorite game during his lessons, was to call his female pupils "Cutie-Chan", and give tips to the males ones on how to "catch the better looking chicks"… of course, there were those who disliked him profoundly –Touya being one of them- those who found him funny –like the twins- those who simply thought that he was having a bit of weird but harmless fun –those begining with Yukito- and those who couldn't help giggling each time they saw him... This last option seemed to affect mostly the female part of the school, and unfortunately, Tomoyo did not escape this plague.

"Oh, come on!" Touya snapped one day. "Stop ranting about him! We know you like him, stop showing it!"

"I don't like him!" Tomoyo protested, blushing. "I find he is a very good teacher is all!"

"Yeah sure," Fai laughed, "That's why you've been giving him sweet eyes since he arrived?"

"I did not give him sweet eyes!"

Tomoyo's cheeks were now flushed with a very bright pink, which amused Fai and Yuui beyond reason.

"Oh my!" Fai laughed again, "Je crois bien qu'elle est amoureuse!"

"Et pas qu'un peu, en plus!" Yuui agreed. (1)

"What are you saying, you two?" Tomoyo asked, still pink. "Stop speaking French all the time!"

"Aw, but Tomo-Chan!" Fai protested, pouting, "It's much..."

"... more fun this way!" Fai cut in, smiling softly.

"Well," Yukito sighed, "I have to admit that it's a bit frustrating to hear you speak in a language we can't understand..."

"Yes, but if we stop speaking it, we'll forget..." Yuui frowned.

"And then, who will teach Chii?" Fai added. "We _have_ to keep on speaking French."

Since their parents' death, the twins had not used another language than French to speak to each other, or to Chii. At first, it had only seemed natural to them: they had always spoken French at home. It was after Fujitaka had asked them why they would never speak in English to each other that they had begun to think about it. Not only was it usual to them, it was also a sort of duty, a tribute paid to their parents' memory. Each sentence, each word uttered in French was a way of reliving them, having them back at their side... they didn't only _want it_ , they _needed it_... but that was too difficult a thing to explain. In the end, the five children went back home, accompanied as usual by Yuzuki-Chan.

They were still playfully picking on Tomoyo when they entered the Daidouji Mansion, where Hiromu welcomed them with a wide grin, Kurogane firmly perched on his hip.

"May I ask what is giving you such a great time?" He asked, raising a curious eyebrow.

"Tomo-Chan's in love!" the twins sang in unison, causing their friend to blush violently, "Tomo-Hime's found her Prince Charming!"

"That's not true!" Tomoyo protested with a weak voice.

"Oh yes, you know it is!" Fai laughed. "Even Yukito agreed: you _are_ in love!"

"Dad!" Tomoyo called out, "Tell them I'm not in love!"

"Ha ha, that's right, you're not!" Hiromu smiled. Then, he turned toward the twins and motionned for them to let her be for the time being, mouthing the words "You'll tell me about this later..."

Yuui and Fai giggled as Hiromu set Kurogane on the floor and guided his daughter toward the kitchen. They set off toward the living room, were they knew a little snack made of fruit juices and cookies would be waiting for them, and Kurogane followed them, his little feet barely producing any sound on the wooden floor.  
The twins settled themselves comfortably in front of the large table, taking their things out of their schoolbags and, seeing that Tomoyo was busy admiring Nadeshiko and her eight-and-a-half month of pregnancy –they knew the baby was a girl, and she was going to be named Sakura- they began to do their homework.  
It took a couple of minutes before Fai realised that Kurogane was looking expectantly at him, Chii being not far behind him –those two were always together, anyways.

"Do you want something, Kuro-Kun?"

"Kuwoganee." The boy said, frowning, then added: "what is be in wove?"

Fai shot a surprised look at Kurogane, then at Yuui... But his brother ignored him faithfully, his body attitude clearly stating "he asked _you_ , I'm not going to step in unless you're in mortal danger", a small and mischevious grin floating on his lips.

"Traître."(2) Fai muttered before turning again toward Kurogane, who still looked at him intently. "So... what is it to be in love, eh?"

Kurogane nodded, and Fai paused to think, a pale finger taping his bottom lip, his gaze fixed to the ceiling.

"Well... To be in love is when you like someone very, very much... You want to spend time with the person you love, and you are always happy to see her. And it's fun to see her, too, because you feel... er... safe, I guess..."

Kurogane seemed to think Fai's sentence over, then said:

"Kuwo in wove wif you then!"

"Et Chii, too!" Chii added in, mixing French and English together.

Yuui choked on his applejuice, and Fai shot him a murderous glance, before turning again to Kurogane and Chii, who were obviously waiting for him to say something. He could feel his cheek burn, and his mind racing for a proper answer.

"No, not like that... When you're in love it's like between your parents."

"You sweep together?" Kurogane asked.

"Uh..."

Fai had definitely lost control of the conversation. Luckily for him, before he had to produce an answer, Tomoyo rushed in the living room, obviously over-excited about something, and breathed:

"Sakura-Chan's on her way!"

Chii and Kurogane darted toward the mansion's entrance, yelling something about how wonderful it was and Fai turning toward Yuui, whispered to him:

"Rappelle-moi de la remercier, plus tard…" (3)

And they went to the main hall, where Touya was arguing with Hiromu over the fact that he had not been given permission to join his mother, and where Kurogane and Chii were already wondering if they would be able to play "Catch" with Sakura... The youngest Kinomoto would definitely _have_ to get used to that rushed atmosphere which, it seemed, would soon become usual amond the twin's friends group.

"En tout cas," Yuui whispered to Fai, using the general confusion to cover up what he said, "J'ai l'impression que Kuro-Chou a un faible pour toi!" (4)

Fai blushed and decided to ignore the statement, taking Chii in his arm instead, assuring her that, yes, she would see the baby, only later. After all, Kurogane was only two: his mistake about love proved absolutely nothing.

" _And that's lucky for me..._ " He whispered to himself in Japanese. " _He's my best friend's brother, and today's conversation was akward enough!_ "

End of _Akward Moments._

(1)"Oh my!"…"I think she's in love!"

"And that's a great love, on top of that!"

(2)"Traitor."

(3)"Remind me to thank her, later..."

(4)"In any case"... "I think Kuro-Chou's got a soft spot for you!"

 **A/N:** Not yet waist-high and already thinking about love... I daresay our Kuro will be a heart-breaker, don't you think so? Anyway, things are getting a bit more advanced, now ;) Expect longer jump in time for next chapter :)

Ever heard of Sha Gojyo? Anyone?


	6. About Hugh Jackman' Esthetic Qualities

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** None of the characters used here are mine ^^'

Two years had passed, without many events. Now being four years old, Chii and Kurogane were both going to school. Kurogane had wanted to try Ninjutsu after school, while Chii had prefered music, like her brothers –who, according to their teachers, both had a truly great potential. However, Chii did not study Guitar playing, nor did she learn how to play the piano –though Yuui had helped her to master a few childish tunes. No, she had prefered to be a drummer... which hadn't been surprising for her relative: full of energy as she was, it was almost normal to see her chose one of the noisiest and more exhaustive instrument. She was doing well, too, and despite her young age, she had already suggested her brother to let her play with them sometimes. She usually played with Fai, who could play rock music with her and, having decided to add violin to his talent, often played classical music with Yuui.

The twins and their friends were now fourteen, and attending their last year of secondary school. Their bodies changed slowly, leaving the round and uncertain shapes of childhood, beginning to sharpen and growing more mature, more adults. Of course, being the only girl, Tomoyo had had to face silly but kind teasings of her friends about her newly forming curves, which had caused her to spend more time with her female friends –among whom stood Hikari Yagami, a girl they had met in their very childhood... but on the whole, they were still as close as ever and, since their timetables were beginning to be too different to allow them to meet whenever they wanted, they had decided to set a small tradition in place...

Each Saturday, they would spend the evening together, with a takeout meal –usually Chinese food- a rented DVD, ice creams and, in the twins' case, a small mountain of pop-corn. It was during one of those evenings, not very long before spring holidays, that Yukito brought them a movie titled " _The X-Men_ "

"Did you really chose it?" Tomoyo asked after Yukito had told them about the plot, "Or did Touya ask you to take this movie?"

Yukito shrugged the question off, and Fai suddenly realised something:

"By the way, where _is_ he?"

"Oh, he told me he had something to do tonight." Yukito smiled. "I think it has to do with that friend of Hikari's... you know, the one with purple hair. I think her name is Miyako, or something like that..." He shrugged.

"Well," Fai said bitterly, "he could have told us!"

"You know," Tomoyo smiled, "maybe he was just affraid that we'd pick up on him... honestly, I do think we're a bit annoying sometimes."

"Still, he could _at least_ have told us that he was not going to come!"

Tomoyo smiled again, almost an appologetic smile, as though she were responsible for Touya's defection. From the corner of his eyes, Fai noticed that Yuui was giving him a curious look, and he arched his left eyebrow. _Is there anything wrong?_ Yuui shook his head, smiling, and pointed to his left wrist. _Later._

"And here we go!" Yukito happily announced.

He threw himself in his comfortable sofa, his left elbow resting on Fai's right shoulder, just as Touya's would have, had he been present.  
Usually, Fai thought, it was Touya who sat down between Yukito and him. Usually, Touya and him would have spent the entire movie laughing at the silliest details –how no one, in movies, ever thought of locking their door, how the main female character was always naive enough to believe that, no, Clark Kent and superman were not the same person... and so on. Usually, if everyone else was deeply absorbed in the plot, Touya would elbow him in the ribs and then whisper his jokes in his hear, and they would try hard to suppress their giggles and laughters. But Touya wasn't here, and this Saturday evening felt insipid.

"Wolverine is sooooo sexy!" Tomoyo giggled when credits began to scroll on the screen.

"I suppose you mean Hugh Jackman?" Fai asked.

"Oh, no! He's only sexy in his Wolverine costume!" She sighed contentedly. "Such a tigh cut, revealing only what's needed... a wonder, I swear!"

"Tomo-Chan... are you _drooling_ over a _costume_?" Yuui asked her, shooting a worried glance at Yukito, and then Fai.

"I certainly hope you're not!" Fai exclaimed. "Because, really, what's insteresting is _in_ the costume!"

"Well, I have to admit Hugh Jackman's not too bad, but..."

"Not _too bad_?" Fai yelled in horror, causing his brother and Yukito to jump a little, "you mean he's downright _hot_ , don't you?"

"Well," Tomoyo shrugged, "His esthetic qualities are fairly contestable."

Fai's jaw dropped and Yuui, feeling a storm coming, grabbed his soulder, pressing his clavicle with his index finger. _Keep cool_. Fai took a deep breath and sighed, muttering something about Tomoyo having "heavy sight problems", before turning to Yukito, to bid him goodbye. Then Yuui, Tomoyo and him left Yukito's house and crossed the street, in order to go back to their own house, in which they crept as silently as they could, so as not to wake Chii and Kurogane.

Finally, after a few stumbling and a series of French swearings coming out of Yuui's mouth, the twins were safely tucked in their beds. They had stopped to join each other in bed on their twelfth year, when Nanako-San had shot them an almost disgusted look upon finding them together... However, they had reduced the space between their beds, and they often fell asleep holding each other's hand, still needing to feel the other's presence. That night, when Fai went to bed, he could feel Yuui's fingers entlangling with his, and smiled soflty.

"Bonne nuit."

Silence was the only anwer to his good night and he frowned, befor pressing Yuui's fingers.

"Hé. Bonne nuit."

"Fai…"

"Quoi?"

"Est-ce que tu es gay?" (1)

Surprised, Fai bit hi slips, and looked up at the dark ceiling, striped with light creeping through the windows. He hummed quietly, pondering his answer... it was true, that girls never seemed to have the same effect on him as on the other boys: he was the only one from the group who had never spoken of having a girlfriend, or commented on how sexy an actress looked... However, he had never thought of himself as gay. To him, it seemed just logical that people found out they were gay after trying a "normal" relationship, and realising it didn't suit them... On the other hand, he had to admit that he knew by now that he found Brad Pitt more attractive than his mate... or Hugh Jackman far more interesting than the costume he was wearing, for that matter.  
Finally, after a full five minutes of thinking, he locked his gaze with Yuui's and nodded:

"Ca se pourrait bien."

"Okay." Yuui smiled. "Juste pour savoir." He chuckled before adding: "De toute façon j'aurais du m'en douter... Aucun mec hétéro n'aurait eu l'air aussi indigné en entendant Tomoyo remettre en cause les 'qualités esthétiques' de Hugh Jackman…"(2)

Fai rolled his eyes and threw a pillow toward his brother's face, before laying down again. Yuui's hand claimed his again, and Fai knew they were both grinning.

"Bonne nuit, crétin." He murmured, still grinning.

"Bonne nuit, 'frangine'." (3) Yuui yawned.

End of _About Hugh Jackman's Esthetic Qualities._

(1)"What?"

"Are you gay?"

(2)"I might be."

"Okay"..."Just wanted to know."..."Besides, I should have known... No straight guy would have looked as scandalized as you did when Tomoyo doubted Hugh Jackman's 'Esthetic Qualities'..."

(3) "Good night, Moron."

"Good night, 'Sista'."


	7. Halloween Candies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** The characters mentionned here are either Clamp or Toei Animation's property... How sad for me T_T

"No!" Kurogane growled as Fai told him for the third time that he wouldn't sleep at home on the following evening. "I want you to stay here and play with me!"

Chii was watching the scene curiously, sitting on the floor and cocking her head to the side. Fai sighed and ruffled Kurogane's hair, smiling fondly.

"Don't worry Kuro-Kiddie," he said as the boy struggled to get out of his grip, "We'll have plenty of time to play later!"

"But I want to play with you _tonight_." And, after a small second: "And it's Kurogane."

Kurogane's feet were firmly stuck to the ground, his arms crossed over his chest, his frowning all he could, his spiky black hair pointing to the ceiling. He was almost seven, and Fai was seventeen. He was young, and hot tempered, and sometimes a bit possessive with his friends –a look at the way he had acted around Syaoran, when Chii had introduced them to each other after her music lesson could easily prove that.

Kurogane was possessive, stubborn, caring, though always a bit grumpy, and if Fai hadn't known better, he would have sworn that Kurogane was _jealous_.

"You always at Touya-sempai's now!" the youger boy growled. "Stay here tonight!"

"I'm sorry Kuro-Pii, but no." Fai ruffled his hair, while Chii settled herself more comfortably on her knees. "I promised Touya I would be there for his party, and I will be. Besides, it's not as if I can miss his birthday, right?"

Kurogane mumbled something but no one understood it and, since he didn't repeat louder, Fai smiled.

"Well, I think this is all settled, then. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun with Chii-Chan tonight."

With that, the older boy left the dinning room and walked toward the bedroom he still shared with his brother. Perhaps that was 'unhealthy' or 'strange' or 'not normal' as people stated it, but they still needed it, and that was all that matterred.

"Il a enfin laissé tomber?" Yuui aked him from his bed, busy completing his corpse costume.(1)

Fai nodded and took his Vampire outfit out of his closet. Tomoyo has made them both, and the twins had had to agree on the fact that they _were_ awesome.

"D'un autre côté, c'était ce que je pensais hier soir aussi..." (2)

He shrugged the matter off and began changingh clothes, his mind focused on the party –and sleepover- awaiting him. Kurogane had been right: he spent most of his time withh Touya, but why should that be bothering anyone? They were friend after all, and friends spent time together.

Besides, Fai felt at ease with Touya, because in a strange sort of way, they fitted together. Touya would not snap at him for being too loud –unlike many of their classmates did- and he would never try to calm him down, either –because he had long since gotten used to the fact that only Yuui could do that. Not only did touya accept Fai's complex relationships with his brother and sanity –which he possessed, really, just wasn't too keen on showing it- Touya was also funny. He blushed when Fai called him with silly names –and really, what was more endearing than silly names?- And when Fai said something really, really stupid, he shrugged and ruffled his hair, as if saying it was alright Fai was acting in a weird way, because it was the way he was, and people liked him for that. And Touya listened. Whenever Fai needed to speak about something –mostly what people said about Yuui and him, because he _did_ care, even though it never showed- he knew he could go and see Touya... he knew his friend would be watching him very carefully, listening to his non-sensical rant about how complicated and yet simple his relationship with Yuui was –and that was of a big help, really, because sometimes it was hard not to be hurt by other people's words...  
But to be honnest, their conversations were not totally the same anymore. Were they –well, mostly Fai actually- would have previously discussed how the bond between the Flowright twins was _not_ a perverted one, they seemed to prefer discussing their tastes –though they already knew each other's, but that was not enough- or their respective projects –though they knew about that, too, but that wasn't enough either, because they wanted to know more, know everything that was important, and even what was not...

And as he entered Touya's living room –filled with black paper-patterns and orange, glowing pumpkins- Fai began to wonder when, exactly, Touya and him had begun to feel more comfortable in silence, shoulder against shoulder and head resting against each other's, than in a casual conversation. Since when, Fai wondered, had he stopped to _listen_ to Touya, and begun to _look_ at him, seeing the words forming on his lips and understanding what he said without hearing anything more than a stream of changing sounds –and maybe that was because their voices were slowly becoming deeper, bouncing from very deep to high pitched in a minute, but that wasn't certain and Fai wasn't sure he really cared.

He was still thinking about what Kurogane had said -not realising that he was pointing to something rather important- when Touya came to greet the twins, as well as Tomoyo. She was dressed in a Priestess costume which –had she said- had appeared in her dream, and it was really beautiful –Fai even had to admit that she looked really handsome in it. Touya, on the other hand, was not costumed. He wore black jeans, a black pull-over, and black sleepers –because Fai, Yuui and Chii were the only kids they knew who did not do everything the japanese way... hence their being the only one who had kept their shoes on, for lack of sleepers to put on.

"Hi." Touya said with a smile –and was it Fai, or did his eyes rest on him a bit longer than needed?

**oOo**

Sometimes, in novels, or commics, or movies, the party was what was most important in the evenning, with various characters walking accross each other, ploting, getting together of ending their romance... that night's party was not. It was not important to know that Alicia –one of Touya's ex-Girlfriends- had been shamelessely flirting with him all evening long, nor did it matter that everyone –except for Touya, Tomoyo and Yukito- had started to whisper and shoot -not- discret glances toward the twins when Yuui had fallen asleep on Fai's lap. It didn't matter either that this guy –Fei Wong Reed, his name was- who had not been invited by Touya himself, but by some of his guest, had spent the entire evening looking at the twins, looking somehow highly dissapproving of their very existence.

No, what truly mattered this evening, was that almost all the guests were _gone_ and that the few of them who had decided to stay –including Tomoyo and Yukito as well as Yuui, of course- were fast asleep now. It _was_ important, that Fai and Touya were now sitting alone in the living room, watching the remains of the party without seeing it. There were bits of pumpkins, scattered bottles of applejuice, some cans of alcohool-less beer... and then there was Touya, sitting on the couch, a few centimeters away from Fai... his elbows resting on his knees, his chin on his hands, he was looking intensely at the blonde boy, who shifted uncomfortably -and _damn_ , why was there so little air?

"You know..." Touya sighed heavily, "I had this all prepared... but now it's time to say my text, I can't recall it... so... hum... yeah... would you... uh..."

Touya looked away, and it was strange to see him acting this way, not only unsure of what to do, but more importantly, not trying to hide that fact.

"Yes?" Fai breathed shortly, not really sure of why his heart raced suddenly... or perhaps, not daring to acknowlege it.

"Would you... uh... like to be my boyfriend?"

It should have felt stupid. After all, weren't they supposed to look at each other and then kiss lovingly, oblivious to what went on around them? At least, that was what happened in movies but, instead, Fai felt unusually self-concsious, shifting three time before Touya's gaze finally froze him in place, and he had to actually remind himself to _breathe_ , before he could answer:

"Ben... ouais..." And when he realised that Touya was not going to understand french, he translated: "Yeah..."

"I hoped you'd say that." Touya smiled, his face serious, but his cheek flushed with a light pink. "So... since we're apparently... er... 'together'... is it... is it okay if I kiss you?"

Fai nodded, and his mind was suddenly racing. How was he going to tell that to Yuui –but that was not a problem since _he_ knew- and how was he going to tell that to Yukito, and Tomoyo? Wouldn't they be surprised, wouldn't Tomoyo know _exactly_ how it had begun, and hear _every little detail_ a hundred time? And if he didn't tell anyone, wouldn't they notice? Wouldn't they resent him for hiding something like that from them? And how was he going to deal with Kurogane's possessive side? Wouldn't he resent him, to? Would Chii think he was weird? Oh, he didn't want that, he didn't want that at all, because she was his little sister after all and how ould he take care of her if she was affraid of him, or disgusted, or simply didn't understand... oh, that would be too bad and please, let her accept her brother as he was, please, _please_...

And suddenly, everything vanished, because Touya's lips were on his own, and it was not perfect at all –not like in movies- because their noses had collided in the process, and their shyness made them clumsy, and none of this matterred, because it was _real_ , and they were really _kissing_ , and it sent shivers down Fai's spine, because it was his first kiss after all... When they pulled appart, they were both very red, and this was not due to lack of air. Touya cleared his throat, and captured Fai's hand with his own, before leading his now boyfriend upstairs.

They did not kiss to say goodbye, allowing their first kiss to sink in before giving it a second try. Fai undressed silently and laid down on his futon without a sound, only sighing when his head finally reached his pillow. Yuui's right hand fell out of his bed when he shifted in his sleep, and Fai took hold of it, sighing again. Still holding his brother's hand –as though trying to share his feelings without waking him up- Fai settled into his sleeping position –flat on his back that was- and closed his eye, savoring the remaining feeling of Touya's lips on his...

Their kiss had tasted of Halloween Candies.

End of _Halloween Candies._

(1)"Did he finally drop the subject?"

(2)"On the other hand, I thought he had dropped it yesterday evening, too.."

 **A/N:** I think this is the longest chapter I've written for this Fic so far.

I'm not too sure about Fai and Touya's kissing scene, so please, tell me what you think... Especially the part when Fai worries over what people will think... I'm not sure it it was right to insert Fai's worries about Kurogane. I think mentionning Chii's alright (because she _is_ Fai's only family beside Yuui after all, and he could not stand 'loosing' her...) But Kurogane, I'm not sure... I want to show that Fai cares for his opinion, but I don't want it to sound perverted, or as though he were already in love with him... more in a sort of brotherly/almost fatherly way... For the time being anyway ^^'

As for the end, when Fai holds his brother's hand while he sleeps, I hope it doen't sound perverted, because it's _absolutely not_ meant to... So, yeah, tell me about that, too please ^^' (And no, Fai's sleeping position is not a mistake, really ^^)

And yeah, Fei Wong's here too, and it won't be his last apparition, I fear... Anyway, stay tuned for next chapter, while I stay tuned for next review :)


	8. Unshed Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Don't own anything, I'm just borrowing Clamp's and Kazuya Minekura's character (Yup, Ni Jen Hi's hers ^^)

Chii was seven and a half. Chii was playfull, and kind, and exhaustive, and beautiful, and way too admiring of her brothers for her own good… but most of all, Chii was seven and a half, and she was beginning to notice things she wouldn't have noticed before.

"Why is everyone watching us?" she asked the twins curiously one afternoon, after her music lesson.

Actually, not _everyone_ watched them, but the ones who did didn't bother trying to be a bit discrete… but that was all right, because Fai didn't care, and he knew Yuui didn't care either. However, Chii still stared up at them, her little hands carefully held in her brothers' larger ones, her knee-long hair brushing the back of her jeans as she looked from one to the other, trying to understand what was going on.

"C'est rien, Chii. Ils sont jaloux parce que notrepetite sœur est un Ange." Yuui answered with a soft smile.

"Alors que _eux_ ils n'ont que des petites sœurs ordinaires…" Fai added in mock-sympathy, "Comme je les plaint!" (1)

Chii laughed at that, and the twins exchanged a relieved gaze above her head. Of course, jealousy was not the reason why people gave them strange looks. They knew there were rumors about them, murmurs running across their school's hallways that said they were far closer to each other than morals allowed. Who had started it? No one seemed to know or, at least, no one had wanted to tell them, but they knew –they had guessed it even before knowing, really- that whenever they were seen having lunch together, sitting shoulder by shoulder, there were people who couldn't help but tell their closest classmates that "look, see those two? People say they're fucking each other."

They had hoped it would subside after a while… But rumors had kept on running. Whether it was due to their being the only European-looking ones of the 'J Section' or bare misunderstanding of their relationship, the twins didn't know, but what they knew was that now, the whole school knew about those rumors. Not all of them believed it, of course, and not all of them helped spread it further… Nevertheless, when Fai and Yuui came back to school after most of the other students for their music lessons, people gave them strange look, and that was not all right anymore, because now, Chii was beginning to notice, and if she noticed, she would understand sooner or later, and then she would be hurt…

Fai sighed, and saw Yuui do the same. Then, after Chii waved to her friend Syaoran, they walked toward their home, ignoring the whispers on their way, ignoring even the dark, smirking silhouette of Fei Wong Reed, whose latest habit seemed to be where the twins were.

**oOo**

"We're back!" Fai called out, acting far more cheerful than he felt, when he opened the door.

He took his shoes off –a habit Yuui and him had finally gotten when they had noticed that all the Maids, and nearly all the guests looked intently at their feet when they kept them on into the house –and stepped inside. Normally, Tomoyo and Kurogane would be in the living room, waiting for their return, but not that evening. Surprised, the twins shot a look at eat other and, once they had gotten rid of their coats –it was the middle of December- they went further into the house, Chii in their footsteps.

"Anyone here?" Yuui called in the empty hallway. "Hullooooooooooo!"

"We're in the bathroom!" They heard Tomoyo's voice call once they were upstairs.

"Tomo-Chan, is everything all…"

Sitting on the bathtub, Kurogane was flinching as Tomoyo applied an alcohol-soaked cotton on his scrapped torso. His left eye was black, and he had plenty little scars all over his upper body, as though he had rolled on a hard floor –most likely gravel.

"What happened?" Fai asked worriedly, as Chii took hold of Kurogane's hand.

"From what I understood, he fought because a boy was saying nasty things about you."

Fai felt his jaw drop, and Yuui's hand rest on his shoulder. Kurogane, meanwhile, frowned and looked away, lightly blushing. Fai looked at his brother and furrowed his eyebrows. _This is getting crazy._ Yuui sighed and shook his shoulders, slightly opening his hands. _What can we do?_ Fai sighed again and stormed out of the room, feeling more upset than ever.

It was easy enough to guess what the fight had been about. Nearly all the people the Flowright and the Daidouji children were connected to went to Tomohura school, and everyone there had heard those stupid stories about Fai and Yuui _at the very least_ once. Of course, being only seven –maybe nearing eight- the boy Kurogane had fought could not have understood exactly what he was talking about, but that was not important. What was important to Fai was that Kurogane had been dragged into a fight _because of him_.  
Dealing with people's stupidity was fine by him, he didn't care what the other said as long as those who mattered to him were fine with him, and were not bothered by what happened. If someone else than him was affected… It made things entirely different.

"What's his name?" He asked Kurogane when he came back into the bathroom.

"Uh?"

"The boy you fought. What's his name?"

"Uh… Hi… Shinya, I think."

Fai nodded, a dark look on his face, then retreated again, Tomoyo and Yuui's worried glances following him.

**oOo**

"Keep your brother away from Kurogane Daidouji."

Ni Jen Hi was standing among his closest friends when Fai had come to face him… alone.

"Isn't your other half with you today?" He smirked. "The lovers got a fight?"

"That's none of your business." Fai growled. "Keep your brother away from Kurogane. I don't care what you think about me, but if it hurts my friends…"

He let his voice trail of threateningly, not caring in the least that Ni Jen had a ten years long practice of Ninjutsu behind him, and he had nothing but instinct and anger to support him, should a fight occur.

"Tell me, why would I do that?" He smirked evilly. "And 'Because.' will not be considered as proper answer."

"Because if you don't, I'll have to deal with your brother myself." The blonde retorted, his voice barely a whisper.

"Touch my brother, and I'll have your head, you perverted bitch." Ni Jen said, his voice even lower.

"Keep him away from Kurogane, and there will be no problem."

"Okay…" Ni Jen smirked.

Fai nodded, his face still dark, and turned on his heels. As he went away, he heard Ni Jen call out for him:

"Don't worry, you and your _dear_ brother can keep him all to yourselves." Fai flinched, but managed not to turn back. "I'm sure you'll enjoy him soon as he's old enough to fu…"

What Fai did next was stupid, because he knew he could not win. Nevertheless, he didn't hesitate to punch Ni Jen in the face. Hard. And all that came after –kicks, punches, dirty names, hitting- all that was definitely worth it, because when Sha-Sensei and Yuuko-Sensei separated them, Ni Jen was the one who had a look of fear on his face, even though Fai had not been able to really hurt him.

**oOo**

Sonomi was really, _really_ mad at him. She had spent a full quarter of an hour yelling at him. Then, since he still refused to utter a single word, she had consigned him to his room for the upcoming week –since he had been temporarily banned from the school. Fai didn't care. He knew she was just worried for him –he did spread his wrist after all, even though that had been a consequence of hitting a wall, and therefore not really connected to the fight, but who cared?- but honestly, this was none of her business. If he, Fai, was willing to get into trouble in order to protect those he loved, who was she to interfere? That was his own choice and business.

Then again, grounded as he was, Fai could do nothing but sit in his room and stare all day, waiting for Yuui and Tomoyo to come back from school, hoping that their classmates would leave them alone, and knowing full well that they would not tell him if it was not the case.

On the third day of this treatment, Touya came to see him, and that was a great relief. They hugged, and they were about to kiss when Kurogane, coming home from Ninjutsu, ran into the room and on the bed, decidedly placing himself between Fai and Touya –and even pushing the latter aside in order to be able to nudge Fai in the ribs.

"They're stupid bastards anyway... I don't care if Shinya doesn't speak to me anymore... So stop being such a mess."

"I'm sorry." Fai laughed half heartedly. "Thank you for your concern, Kuro-Wan. It's good to see you like me."

"I'm not concerned, and I don't like you!" Kurogane yelled with a blush. "It just pisses me of to hear you whine and snif all the time. And it's Kurogane!"

Fai gave a small smile, and Touya took his hand in his own. The blonde boy sighed and shook his head. Then, hugging the two other boys, he cclung to Kurogane's shirt and buried his face in Touya's neck, his eyes burning with unshed tears.

End of _Unshed Tears_

(1)"It's nothing, Chii. They're jealous because our little sister is an Angel."

"While _they_ only have ordinary sisters…" "How sorry I feel for them!"

 **A/N:** Originally, Kuro was supposed to hug Fai… but then I thought against it: it would have been un-Kuro-ish

 **Author's Rant:** In case you didn't know, Sha Gojyo and Ni Jen Hi are both from Kazuya Minekura's _Saiyuki_. Gojyo is one of the four heroes, while Ni is... well... a wicked, sadistic doctor, who works for the evil side, but scares his colleagues very, _very_ efficiently... He's the kind of character about who you can decide if he's more disgusting than frightening, or more frightening than disgusting, see what I mean? Anyway, I figured he would fit in the role I gave him... you know, the guy who likes to push other people's buttons, not because he wants them to pay for something, not because he needs them to be hurt in order to give him what he wants, but beacause it's fun to see them shater and blow up...

In any case, I sincerely recommand you to read Saiyuki, especially if you like those twisted-but-not-so-much relationship we can see in Clamp's work (because, really, the heroes' mission's quite simple, but in this manga... seems to me that the journey's far more interesting than its end...)

Anyway, enough with my ranting now so... See you in next chapter :)


	9. Beyond All Word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Unfortunately –for me at the very least- they're still not mine. Sigh.

It had been about six month since Fai had fought in the courtyard, and the other students seemed to be very talkative about that. Of course, the whole story had been told at least a thousand time and therefor amplified, distorted... and now people really though Fai had fought Ni Jen because he had... how did they put that again? Oh, yeah, 'tried to steal Yuui away from his brother'... who could believe that, seriously? But wether they were all high on whatever it was they absorbed, or they were all completely nuts, but most of the twins' classmates were now trying to avoid them, as though the rumors were –could be- true.

"They just don't understand!" Fai sighed to Touya one night, while they walked home from the cinema. "They're not even trying to... they..."

"They'll always do that." Touya said soothingly. "People tend to fear and mistrust what they can't explain."

"Maybe you're right... but that doesn't make it any easier. I mean, look at what it brought to Kurogane... look at what it's bringing _you_! Aren't you fed up with them trying to know if I _do_ have sex with Yuui?"

"I don't care." Touya shrugged. "It's not like you had sex with anyone yet... Did you?"

"No."

"Thought so... I'd be your first one, then."

Now, that was another thing nudging at Fai's mind. Not that the thought was not a pleasant one, for sure it was... however, Touya and him, for the moment, were still quite akward discussing this topic... let alone put it to execution. The fact that they were both virgins didn't help, either. Fai had almost always known he was gay, and Touya was his first boyfriend, so his sexual experience were limited to... well, what could be done alone. And he knew Touya was precisely at the same level, because when he had asked Myako out –his first girlfriend- he had been too young to think about sex, and after her, he had only had very brief relationships, never more than three weeks, before he had settled with Fai... So yeah, of course they had read mangas and seen movies - _Brokeback Mountain_ and such... but in the end, all the thory they knew only ended up making them more confused than they had been at the beginning.

"Would you like to?" Fai whispered, barely audible.

"What?" Touya asked.

"Would you like to... have sex... uh... with someone?"

Finally, it was spoken aloud. Fai had been able to feel it hanging between them for a good month and a half, tensing the atmosphere after they kissed, restraining them from leaning on each other when they were together –whether with, or without their friends... Now the question was asked, at least, they would be able to think about what they _really_ wanted and, of course, how to get it.

"Uh... well it... it depends." Touya mumbled, blushing furiously. "If 'someone' means 'you' then... well, yes, I suppose."

This was absolutely not the most romantic way of speaking about those things –half-muttering in the middle of the street, fearing to be heard as though it were some sort of a sin... Nevertheless, that was all right, because they knew, now, what each other wanted, and they knew they were just _this_ close to experiment what everyone described as the most wonderful thing one could do: making love.

Time seemed to fly by, as they struggled for words, straining their ears to hear what the other was saying among the crowd's sounds, and it was only a matter of seconds before they reached Tomoyo's house.

Soon, they were kissing goodbye, and Fai watched as Touya crossed the road to his own house. When he stepped inside, he spotted light in the kitchen. He got rid of his shoes as well as his long and heavy white coat, before peaking his head around the door. Sonomi, who was having a full glass of water, smiled at him kindly, and Fai felt himself blush as he retreated from the kitchen... It was weird to face his adoptive mother while thinking about having sex with someone.

**oOo**

Buying the condoms was a painfull hell.

Fai and Touya went together to the supermarket, and went straight for the para-medical area, thinking that, once they'd have found it, they would only have to try and grab a box while no one watched, an then brace themselves for the horribly akward moment when they would have to face the saleswoman.

"At least," Touya whispered while they looked around them for the pharmaceutic area, "We're not obliged to go actually _ask_ someone to give them to us..."

Fai nodded, eyes wide at the very idea... how their parents must have suffered when they had had to do that!  
It was Touya who spotted it first. Tugging at Fai's sleeve, he motionned for him to come along, and the blonde boy did not protest, wanting all this to be over... Fate, however, had decided otherwise.

"Merde!" He swore quietly.(1)

"Is that..." Touya began, sensing the meaning behing the foreign sound.

"Yeah. How are we supposed to choose?"

There was far too much choice. First of all, there were _brands_. Who the hell had had this stupid idea to make different brands of _condoms_? So, what to chose? Durex, or Manix? Which size? Wich box size and even -Fai _had_ to gasp in horror when he saw that- which _flavor_?

"Oh. My. God." Touya sighed heavily. "I'm completely lost..."

"So am I!" Fai whispered.

There were simply too many options. How the hell were they supposed to know which size would fit them best?

"My God, Fai!" Touya gasped, "look at that..."

He pointed a white and blue box and, in the upper left corner, was a special mention "Bests for Fellations". Fai didn't dare look at the other boxes, his face, hear and neck litterally _burning_ of self shame. Parents and teachers could say all they wanted about the fact that no one should be ashamed of their wish to make love with someone, buying condoms for the first time was still awfully embarrassing. He buried his face in his hand, redder than he had ever been in his whole life.

"I suggest we both take a different box and buy it... we'll see if it's good when we try, 'kay?"

"Uh..." Fai was a bit reluctant, not wishing to have to come back, but then he noticed a tiny old lady looking toward them curiously, and grabbed one of the pink-ish boxes. "Anything to be done with it!" He muttered under his breath.

Touya took a blue box, and they went to the exit in order to pay for their condoms... which, they found, could be added to the Most Horrible Tortures' Top Ten.

**oOo**

After the condom-buying fiasco –he soon found out that he had bought _female_ condoms- Fai felt the need to prepare himself for what was going to happen. One evening after school, when Yuui was off for a routine check-up at the dentist's, and the others were away, doing whatever they usually did on Mondays late afternoons, Fai crept onto the Computer, and decided to have a look at Tomoyo's bookmarks.  
He was pretty sure he had heard her mention something to one of her friend, something sounding like 'Aoi', 'Yaoi', he didn't remember. Anyway, from what he had understood, this funny-named thing spoke about homosexual relationships between males, and that was just what he needed.

He spent the whole afternoon reading 'Fanfics' as it was called, and didn't know wether he should be reassured by what he had come accross or not.  
Things were rendered even more difficult by the fact that he hadn't told to Yuui what Touya and him were planning... Not that he was keeping secrets from his brother he just... didn't know how to explain it, so he had chosen instead to wait until all was done before telling his twin. After all, discuss very precise sexuality-related questions with his brother, when there were so many rumors about what they did together would have felt way too weird...

**oOo**

It was not before the end of January that they found an occasion to set their plan in action. Tomoyo and Yuui's Class was going on a School trip for two days, and Touya's parent had planned to go to Japan, in order for Sakura to meet her grandparents while she was not in school... Touya would be alone at home for three weeks, and that was exactly what they needed.

**oOo**

'D-Day' was almost too fast to come. Fai had obtained permission to stay at Touya's for the night because "he's all alone there, and the others aren't home anyway..." Sonomi had reluctantly agreed to let him go –perhaps some sort of mother-instinct telling her that Fai would not be the same anymore when he would come back.

Anyway, in the end, Touya and him were both sitting on Touya's bed, a condom box ready for them on the bedside table, not knowing what to do. There was a long, akward silence, before Fai gathered enough strenght to speak:

"Maybe we should not foccus on it to much... right? I mean, uh... 'If it's meant to happen', and all these things…"

"Yeah, right."

For the first time since Fai's arrival, the two teenagers looked at each other, and upon seing each other's face bright as a tomato, they burst into laughter, unable to stop before a full five minutes had passed.  
Chuckling, still trying to catch his breath, Fai's laid his head down on Touya's shoulder, his right hand entangled with Touya's left, the other one tracing invisible pattern down his upper leg. Touya slowly leaned in to kiss him, and that was what started it all.

Clothes fell to the floor as fingers ran on naked skins, softs as feathers, followed by butterfly wings-like kisses. Sure enough, at the beginning, it was clumsy, and akward, and even a bit frightening, too... but as skins became more sensitives, as desire rose into their chests, hearts and bodies, things began to go more smoothly.  
It was nothing like what Fai had ever read, or been described. Truth be told, the actual thing was rather painful and he could only hope time would make it easier...

What was truly amazing, however, were the feelings. Leaning into each other, being able to give as much as what was received, inventing a new language that was all caress, kisses and sight, murmuring their love, over and over, that was beautyful and amazing enough to be worth all the shyness, all the akwardness, all the pain...

And finally, as they laid down and let each other's breathing lull them off to sleep, it felt as though they were melting into something so comforting, so complete an _natural_ , that it was simply beyond all word.

End of _Beyond All Word._

(1) "Shit!"

 **A/N:** So, yeah, a reasonnably long chapter, and pretty much about one single thing, I must say. I was not planning to make an entire chapter on Fai and Touya's first time, and this didn't start as that at all... but then I got carried on, and the whole "Buying the Condoms" part was simply too amusingly cute for me to let it go, so... ^^'  
There probably won't be any counterpart chapter for Kuro, because by the time he will be old enough for his first time, Fai will be quite busy, believe me :)

I'm trying to add a bit of background stories –such as SyoSaku parts, for example, but it's a bit difficult sometimes, since the story is mostly told from Fai's POV (Which I find funny because, in he french version of the Fic, it was Kurogane who "told" the story most of the time... And no one cares anyway, but still^^')  
So... well, I still don't know wether I should write a chapter that wouldn't be Fai-Centered or not


	10. Unrequited Skills

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Unfortunately –for me at the very least- they're still not mine. Sigh.

No one had ever taught Fai how to fight.  
Opposite to Kurogane, who had always had a liking for fighting sports, or Chii, whose energy was so extremly wild that Sonomi and Hiromu had barely hesitated before agreeing, when she had asked to try kick boxing –which she would begin the following year- Fai had never, ever had any intention to learn how to fight.  
He had never been the kind of boy to get all angry as soon as something unwished for appeared in his life, let alone start fights. Fai, like Yuui, was rather the kind of guy who would shrugg attacks off and go on with his life... Unless someone who mattered to him was endangered, in a way or another.

When Kurogane had fought because of him, more than six month before, Fai had not hesitated one single second to defend him. He had not told Yuui what he had planned at the moment, so as not to worry him, and had decided to face Ni Jen Hi alone.  
Of course, the fight had never been part of his plan... Even though the way he acted looked more and more like he was nuts, he had never been –and would never be- so stupid as to actually _plan_ a fight he knew he could only loose!

No one had ever taught Fai how to fight, mainly because he had never wanted to learn... Still, as time passed, he had begun to realise that he would _have_ to.  
After his first fight with Ni Jen Hi, things had gotten worse at school. Some people –who did not even belong to the 'J Section' but who were quite notorious among the students- had begun to come to him an get him into fights, seemingly for the sole pleasure of it.  
Sometimes they made up excuses to start the fight… "You hurt my brother." "It was my friend's nose you broke." Other times, they would provoke him until he could not restrain his fist anymore. It all happened as though, having found his weak point, they were determined to use it as long as they could…  
Fai was not the kind of guy who would fight because he was dared to do so, really. But the painful hell his school life had become could have led anyone on the path of violence. How would you react, if some brainless bastards kept on following you as soon as you were alone, asking if your brother was a good sucker –and when do you plan to invite the third one? Do you play with that Daidouji chick, too? Let's hope her brother is not too traumatized… unless you take him along as well? You'd be glad to do that you pig… And 'Pig' was one of the nicest.

Not a week, and very few days passed without one of those fight… And each time, Fai wondered: had he not fought Ni Jen, would things have been different? Would his life be one of a normal student, going to school and then walking home with his friends, laughing and having fun, oblivious to the stupid rumors? Sometimes he believed it, sometimes he doubted it. It was beginning to feel like fate.

Yuui did not know about the fights... Not all of them, at least. Sometimes, when Fai won, he would hide his bruises and scars as much as was possible –though, with summer nearing, it was becoming harder each day- and, when he lost, he would come up with lies to explain what had happened to him... Yuui didn't believe him often, that was for sure. Nearly each time Fai came home with a new scar, or bruise, or any trace of what he did after school, Yuui would help him to heal it wordlessly, frowning all along...

True, if Fai had told him what happened, he would have listened to him, and he would never have blamed him... However, he certainly would have wanted to help him as well, and if there was but one thing Fai would never, _ever_ allow, it was for someone else than him to get hurt... So things went on this way: Yuui knew, and Fai knew that he knew, but they both acted as though nothing was happening, because speaking about it would have been too painful, at least on Fai's side.  
It didn't matter to him, that he was gaining strength and experience while loosing weight –and becoming skinnier than ever- as long as his family and friends were safe...

What truly bothered him, to the point of loosing sleep, was that his new 'routine' had brought side effects with her.  
The first one he could remember very well: in his second fight, he had nearly broken his fingers... He was a guitar and violin player, and therefore needed his fingers to keep all the agility they could have... not only to go on improving his playing –which were qualified of "amazing" by his teachers- but also because playing music with Yuui was now the only way he had to really feel totally reunited with him. When Fai played guitar with Yuui and the rock band they had formed together –Wings, they had called it- Fai felt as though none of his fights had ever happened. It was like leaving his burden on the entrance of the building they practiced in… However, should anything happen to his fingers, this small, heavenly feeling might be lost forever…  
So instead of taking such a risk, Fai had bought a pair of black mittens, which he had reinforced with metal plates, placed on his first phalanges. Of course, the plates were hidden with fabric, and only created a small bump under the black wool. Though this side effect was not the most noticeable one Fai had to face, it was the one that bothered him most. It had been the first change he had been aware of, after all, and the most symbolic of all. Making those mittens meant to accept what his life had become.

_Nevermind. Nevermind the blood, the bruises, the pain. Nevermind the scars and the concern, nevermind the emptiness. If I'm the only one to feel it, it's okay. It's okay_   
_, if they're safe. It's okay, if they're happy._

Slowly, carefully, Fai was beginning to build up a mask. He never slept on his back anymore, but laid flat on his stomach, his face buried between his pillow and hair, hidden from the outside world, and even from Yuui. His hand, at night, never rested in his brother's anymore. Now, if he wanted to sleep, he had to be the one who wrapped his fingers around Yuui's, making sure he could protect him even while sleeping.  
On the other hand, he acted more and more cheerful each day. He had always been a very lively guy, always ready to cheer up, always ready to say something stupid, even when it was not needed, because sometimes, when atmosphere was too thick, someone _had_ to break it, right? It was even more important, now. Making sure no one was worried for him. Making sure their life went on as happily as they could… And if it meant exhausting himself by smiled when he had no wish to, then he would do it without complain.

There was one more things those fights had brought in Fai's life. Something rather unexpected, in fact, but something he was willing to grasp, and hold onto until his very last breath… He had begun to write songs. Mostly Love songs. About brotherly love, motherly love…Straight or not, happy or not, one-sided or not… No matter what, his first songs were all about love because, really, _that_ was what he was craving for. Of course, there was Touya. Of course, Fai had friends, and a family, and they all loved him, in their own personal ways… All the love in the world would not have been enough to overwhelm the dark, lonely feeling his fights brought him.

With time, his text would change, become more profound, and speak of more diversified topics… But one thing was already certain: Fai would go into music. Even though he studied foreign languages, even though he would go on with his studies for Sonomi's sake, he knew he wanted, _needed_ to be a professional musician.

Even if it was only to forget that he was slowly becoming a talented fighter. To forget the dark, crazy smirk floating on Fai Wong Reed's lips whenever he came across him.

_Even if it was only to forget that, more and more each day, he was developing unrequited skills._

End of _Unrequited Skills_


	11. A Year And A Half

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Still. Not. Mine. *Sigh*

Fai and Touya had been together for more than a year and a half, and no one knew.  
Well, of course, _they_ knew… And Yuui did, too –Fai simply could _not_ keep that secret from him. But apart from the three of them, no one knew they were together… No one even knew that they were gay and, while Touya was perfectly fine with that –because he could not begin to say that and confuse his five-and-a-half-years old little sister right?- Fai was beginning to be tired of it.

He knew, damnit! Had he been unsure, trying to figure out wether he was straight or not, he would have been perfectly fine with not telling anyone, really… But since he knew for sure that he was never, ever going to be into girls, why not tell the others?

Touya had gotten mad at him when he had first mentioned it. What was that idea anyway, displaying their weirdness to the world? Fai had flinched at the word 'Weirdness', but when he had picked it up, Touya had dropped the subject, and they hadn't talked about it for a while.  
Fai, however, hadn't stopped to think about it, and found his secret weighed more and more on his mind… He had enough to keep to himself already, what with all the fight he was dragged into, all the bruises and scars… The more time passed, the harder it went not to simply fall on his knees and scream, and cry, until someone finally heard him and understood he was fucking gay, _damnit_!

But each time Fai suggested it to his boyfriend that they could perhaps think about telling other people, it ended into a real battle of words, hissing and whispering for fear of being heard, but a battle nonetheless.  
At the beginning, it had been alright, because Fai had understood Touya's worries, and he was in love with him, therefore willing to please him when possible…

However, as time passed, Fai found it harder and harder to reconciliate with Touya. It was harder and harder to be pleased when he hugged him, kissed him… They barely made love anymore, and Fai was beginning to mind it less and less. They spent less and less time together, and that wasn't as displeasing as it should have been either…

And of course, there were those times, when they would kiss after one of their argument, and nothing happened: no sparkle, no wish to apologize more than they had, no physical need anymore… They spent less and less time being happy, as they argued more and more together, their comments getting harsher, their words going beyond their thought… And always, _always_ struggling to make as little noise as was possible, always failing to understand each other, unable to properly let their frustration out… Until Fai had had enough with it.

"I quit."

Touya shot him a surprised glance, not understanding what his boyfriend meant, or perhaps not willing to. They were in the middle of an argument –another one- and Fai's words, proceeding of a long strain of though, had absolutely nothing to do with their current topic –something stupid about a children's TV show had led to a conversation about Chii, and then a new argument about their coming out or not.

"What?" the brunette asked sheepishly, taken aback.

"I said 'I quit'." Fai repeated calmly, yet firmly, his voice trembling from emotion. "I'm fed up with us. I'm fed up with hiding what I am from everyone. I'm fed up. I've got enough. I quit."

"Do you mean…"

"Yes, this is the end." Fai sighed sadly. "I didn't want to, really… But I don't want to force you to do anything, and I don't want to go on lying either. So that's it."

"Can I… Can I try and make you give it a second thought?" Touya asked, his voice shaking.

"I…don't think so." Fai sighed. "It's too late. I don't want to hide anymore."

_I already have enough secrets as it is._

There was a tense silence. Then, after a good five minutes without another interruption than Nadeshiko cooking in the kitchen, Touya sighed heavily, and sat down on his bed. When Fai went to lay a comforting hand on his soulder, he backed away, his whole body tensing, his eyes burning on Fai's skin, glistening with tears of anger.

"Get out."

"Touya…"

"Get. The Hell. Out."

Fai opened his mouth, as though trying to speak, but thought against it and, picking up his school bag, he left Touya alone: he should have expected it, after all. He smiled to Nadeshiko when she greeted him, politely declining her offer to stay for diner, although that had been his and Touya's plan… Then, after ruffling Sakura's hair –who, by now, was six and a half- he closed the main door behind him and crossed the street to the Daidouji's.

**oOo**

They were all seated at the dinner table when Fai went back home, Yukito sitting among them. They looked surprised to see him, since he had warned them that he would be eating at the Kinomoto's. He quickly muttered that he had 'changed his plan' before taking out a plate and chopsticks for himself –he didn't like chopsticks. He would never be as good with it as he was with a fork and a knife.  
Sonomi gave him a full plate of noodles along with some sushi, and he began to eat without a word, hi eyes fixed on his meal.

A quarter of an hour passed like this, before Nanako-san entered the room, carrying the dessert, Yuzuki-Chan behind her. Then, Fai took a deep breath and, avoiding to think too much about it, he blurted out:

"I'm gay."

It was certainly not the best way to announce it, really. Too harsh, too bold… But at least, now they knew. Nanako-San dropped her plate for the first time in twenty years of faithful services, and Yuzuki-Chan stood awkwardly. The others remained silent while Fai's word sank in, Yuui shooting him a reassuring smile.

"No." Nanako-San stated. "You can't."

"Well you see Nanako-San, it's not like..."

"You. Can't. Be." Nanako-San reapeted firmly. "I refuse to serve a sinner." She added, clutching her christian cross necklace.

Fai opened his mouth, but soon found out that he didn't know what to say. He _had_ expected to see looks of surprise, perhaps even shock on his family's faces, but not an outright reject such as this one. Finally, it was Yuui who spoke first, his smile barely hiding the ice in his words:

"Bah, de toute façon, ce n'est pas comme si Fai ne pouvais pas s'occuper de lui-même, pas vrai?" (1)

Fai opened surprised eyes at Yuui's reply, not used to his brother not being… well, excessively comprehensive. Usually, it was he, who spoke poison to the people that bothered him –maybe that was one of the reason why he got into so much fights, too: his oponants were rarely men of words, and his sharp retorts often caused them to attack.  
Silence fell onto the room, and Nanako-San hurried out of the dining room, tense as she had never been, clearly stating that she would not address the twins anymore. Fai looked around him hesitantly, looking for some trace of back up, but only found profound reflexion written on all faces –except for Yuui's.

"What's 'Gay'?" Kurogane finally asked, frowning.

"Gay is… uh… When… men fall in love together. Like instead of having a Man and a Woman, you have two men."

"Does that mean that you love men?" Kurogane asked.

"Yes. That's what it means."

Chii, who had listened carefully to what her brother and friend had said, raised her hand to speak, as she would have done in school.

"Oui, Chii?"

"Est-ce que c'est mal d'être gay ?"

"Non." Yuui answered, shaking his head. "C'est juste des amoureux différents. Mais certaines personnes pensent que c'est mal."

"Comme quand ils se moquent de mes cheveux, à l'école ?" Chii asked curiously.

"Oui, Chii, c'est la même chose." Yuui said, causing a smile to appear on Fai's lips.

"Alors Nanako-San c'est une méchante!" Chii pouted.(1)

The twins smiled as Chii went to hug her brother, and Kurogane grunted.

"Anything wrong Kuro-pyon?" Fai asked a bit nervously.

"That's Kurogane!" the boy barked. "And I don't care. You're just as stupid as you were before anyway."

Sometimes, Fai thought has he burst into laughter, one _had_ to wonder if Kurogane was really only eight, or older. However, since the others remained silent, his laughter soon subsided. As he ran his gaze around the table, he saw Tomoyo smile kindly toward him, and Yukito give him a 'I-wondered-when-you-would-tell-us' sort of smirk. A bit of his worry slipped off his shoulders, and Fai sighed lightly. This only left Sonomi and Hiromu, who still hadn't said anything.

"So…" Hiromu began. "Do you… Hem… Have a boyfriend?"

"Had." Fai smiled. "We broke up."

He noticed Yuui's eyebrow arching, but only taped his left wrist with his finger.

"Well… Then tell me when you find a new one, okay? I want to meet the next ones."

Fai chuckled lightly, before turning to Sonomi. She didn't speak, but her face was gentle and caring, so Fai wasn't really worried about what she could be thinking.

"So…" Hiromu asked him, breaking the silence that had set on the table, "that boyfriend of yours… How long had you been together for?"

Fai looked at his adoptive father, surprised by the question. Memories raced in his mind as he remembered the taste of his and Touya's first kiss, the first time they had made love, their first outing, and all those that had followed… Everything entangled itself, and Fai couldn't help but feel his throat tighten painfully as he officially voiced the end of his first love story:

"It has lasted a year and a half."

End of _A Year And A Half_

(1) "Well, after all, it's not like Fai can't take care of himself, is it?"

(2)"Yes, Chii?"

"Is it bad to be gay?"

"No." … "They're just a different kind of lovers. But some people think it's bad."

"Like when they make fun of my hair at school?"

"Yes, Chii, it's just like that."

"Then Nanako-San's a baddie!"


	12. One Of Many Pawns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Still. Not. Mine. *Sigh*

Fai felt his back hit the wall with a loud 'thud', and he groaned as his right shoulder collided violently with a dirty and oh so hard ground.  
Somewhere in the distance, he heard a screeching noise and something that sounded like metal being brutally folded... A sigh exited his lips when he realised that he could have been stuck between the two cars that had hit each other, and he slowly got up, his vision still blurry because of the shock... After all, nineteen and a half was way too young an age to die!

The man that had pulled him on the pavement, out of danger, was someone Fai could swear he had never seen before. His red hair and pale skin, he could have forgotten it... but not his gold-stained smile, with half of his teeth being fake. There was a crazy look in his dull brown eyes, and Fai instantly felt something was wrong. The other must have sensed the caution in his prey's eyes, for he smiled mockingly before speaking:

"Hello..."

His voice was far from pleasant, coming from his nose and stained with a cold irony that made Fai feeal ill-at-ease... A feeling that could only increase when he saw four brainless and belliquous looking men who where at least five years older than he was.  
Fai felt his throat tighten and his fist ball up around his mittens, the reassuring iron plates pressing against his fingers, and he readied his muscles against the attack he knew was comming.

As usual, the first blow was aimed for the face. Fai dodged it swiftly and backed in a corner, avoiding a kick as he did so. He knew by know what he had to do, how he should work when engaged into a fight... Neither his muscles –stronger than what they appeared but still not _that_ strong- nor his weight were enough to make sure he would win, so he had to use his brain.  
The first rule was to avoid hitting first, by any mean. In case things turned wrong, it was the only thing that would protect him: being able to tell without lying that he had been acting in legitim defense.  
The second rule was to let his ennemies lose patience and strenght, trying to hit him and chasing after him... This at least he was doing perfectly well. Softly glidding out of reach whenever a fist or a foot approached him was something he had mastered long before learning where he should aim his blows in order to be as efficient as possible.

He dodged a few other kicks, before being trapped between the wall and Golden-Teeth, who tried to punch him in the nose. Fai blocked the fist and shoved the man aside, thus leaving an empty space near his head. A chinese-looking guy seized the occasion and hit the blonde's left hear, knocking him to the ground. Another one –tall and pale skinned with light brown hair- jumped above him, aiming for his stomach. Fai managed –God knew how!- to kick his back before he fell, sending him one or two meters away before he rolled on his knee.  
A strong pair of arms seized his neck, and Fai bit it harder and harder, until warm blood flooded his mouth and the arms went away with a beast cry. Fai ran toward a trash bin lying here and, grabbing the iron plate that covered it, he used it as a shield, as a new opponant ran toward him. He knocked him down with a strong punch and dodged a kick aimed at his upper legs.

Suddenly though, there was a fist on his nose, quickly followed by an elbow on his bottom lip, and Fai's world began spinning around him, his vision blurry and his ears buzzling. Later on, he would be totally unable to relate what happened in the following ten minutes, only vaguely recalling giving a few more kicks and punches... then a sharp pain in his left eye, and blood.

Blood on his face, blood on his shirt, blood on his hair, and skin, in his mouth... So much blood he thought he was going to die and, somehow, there was a part of him who welcomed it, if not happily, at least without fear.

"I think you've had enough..."

The voice was deep, rough, and definitely older than Fai was, though only by two years or so. Forcing his right eye open, Fai managed to identify a monocled face, with very dark hair –except for a white strand on the forehead- and a prominent chin.

"Fei Wong Reed..."

The voice laughed madly, almost casually, and Fai knew he had been right. Their was a dark blurr on his left, and suddendly, Fei Wong was by his side, breathing in his ear.

"You will certainly be happy to learn that it is the last time you have to fight... because of me, that is."

Later on, Fai would swear he had always felt it, somewhere deep inside. For the moment, he just felt his body screaming his pain, especially his eye, and all he could do was to utter a poor and weak "Why", with a trembling voice.

"Why? Well because it was part of my plan." Fei Wong laughed, the way the bad guys laughed in movies, when they exposed their plans to the hero who was about to die. "I have another you who needs to learn how to fight. He needs to learn it even though he's not born yet. Don't worry, you're not the only one I used to train him, really. There are thousands of Yuuis living accross dimensions, you're only one of many pawns."

"I...don't... understand..." Fai craked painfully.

"You don't need to." Fei Wong laughed. "Just know this: thanks to you and all the progress you've made, this other Yuui will be able to protect his Sakura when they'll go chasing after feathers."

"You... made my life a living hell... for years... because of feathers?"

"It can be seen this way."

Fai felt himself screaming as he tried to grab Fei Wong Reed's collar. However, the other man managed to dodge the blonde's attack, and to dissappear in a matter of second, and Fai's head fell back on the ground. He had time to taste something salty melting with blood on his lips before everything went black.

**oOo**

In the end, though, Fai didn't die.  
He woke up two weeks later on a beautiful June morning, feeling as though and elephant had decided to use his head as a punching bag, and the world looking awfully flat before his eyes. Or rather, he realised after a while, before his _eye_. His left eye was no use anymore.

Fai clenched his fist, not caring in the least that it brought a sharp pain in his left shoulder, because feeling his nails bite the flesh of his hand -as though it were claws- was the only thing that could prevent him from screaming.

Two years.

During two years, he had had to fight every fucking week, sometimes several times a week, suffering, lying and being frustrated, and all that for what? Because some bastard wanted top get hold of stupid _feathers_? He had been deprived of his youth, forced to become an adult long before due time, forced to put on a mask he was know unable to remove, forced to lie to everyone –Sonomi, Tomoyo, Chii, Kurogane...- he had even accepted to loose a part of his bond with Yuui, because it had meant safety for him... All that –innocence, carefreeness, confidence- sacrified for the sake of a single man's wish!

Had he been present, Fai would have strangled Fei Wong Reed with his bare hand.

They all came to see him: Yukito, Sakura, Tomoyo, Hiromu, Sonomi, Chii... Touya came too, and since they had broken up more than six month before, their had not been any akwardness when they had talked together.  
The hardest day came when Yuui visited him. He was pale, with deep purple marks under his red-rimmed eyes and, when he took Fai's hand in his own, he was shaking.

"Ne refait plus jamais ça." Yuui said in a shaky voice, yet firmly. "Je ne veux plus _jamais_ ressentir ça alors, si tu as de nouveau des ennuis, je t'en supplie, parles m'en... Même si tu ne me donne pas tout les détails, dis moi au moins si ça ne va pas. Promis?"

"Promis."(1)

Fai didn't need to ask what Yuui was talking about. Ever since they were born, there had always been a strange bond between the twins that allowed them to feel when the other suffered –when they were younger, they called it magic, because they could physically feel each scratch their brother got. Fai had forgotten that –maybe he had voluntarily done so- and to be reminded of its existence in such a way very far from pleasant. He knew perfectly well that, had he been in Yuui's place, he would have felt in his heart, in his very bones, that there was something wrong with his brother... But he also knew that, had Yuui been in his place, it would have been _him_ who would have become the shadow of a man Fai was now. For this reason, he was glad it was him, and not Yuui, that Fei Wong had chosen for his 'plan' as he said, even though he hadn't understood it at all.

Fai took his brother's hand in his and pressed their foreheads together, the gesture as comforting as it had always been, feeling as though nothing wrong could happen as long as they stayed like that.

"Il faut que j'y aille." Yuui whispered. "J'ai promis à Sonomi de retourner en cour cet après-midi."

Fai nodded, and Yuui smiled weakly.

"Je comprends."

"Repose-toi bien."

"Promis."(2)

Yuui left the room, and Fai laid back in his pillow, until Kurogane's head poked through the door.

"Hey, Kuro-Wanko!" Fai smiled softly. "Hello."

The nine years old boy walked up to Fai's bedside and stared at him in silence for a long minute. Then, slowly, he raised his hand and delicately touched what Fai guesse was a scarn starting on his forehead, above his left eye, and ending in the middle of his cheek.

"It's paler now." The boy stated.

"You mean duller."

"No. Paler, but not dull."

Fai smiled again but soon, surprise replaced the smile, as Kurogane's hand enclosed his own, and as the boy's forehead was pressed against his.

"I'm glad you're alive."

Kurogane's voice was barely a whisper, obviously not directed toward anyone but himself. Fai, having overheard, could not help to tease:

"And I'm glad to see you finally admitted to like me, Kuro-Poo."

"I don't like you!" Kurogane barked. "AND I AM CERTAINLY _NOT_ NAMED AFTER SOMETHING YOU FIND IN THE BOTTOM OF A TOILET BOWL!"

Fai allowed himself to laugh –a genuine laugh- before resting his head against Kurogane's again.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered softly, his voice barely audible.

Then, all of a sudden, the reality of what had happened -of what he had done, of what Yuui and the other must have endured because of him- dawned on him, and Fai found himself crying more than he had cried on his parent's burial, his face hidden behind his thin hands, for once not minding in the least that someone could see him. Not even realising that Kurogane, too, was crying.

All this was just way _too much_ for him.

End of _One Of Many Pawns_

(1)"Never do that again." ... "I don't want to feel that _ever_ so, if there's something else that goes wrong, I beg you to tell me... Even if you can't give me all the details, at least tell me when there's something wrong. Promise?"

"Promise."

(2)"I have to go." ... "I promised Sonomi I would go back to school this afternoon."

"I understand."

"Rest well."

"Promise."

 **A/N:** In case you had not guessed, Fei Wong was speaking of the Fai we know, from the TRC books :)

My er... 'theory' is that when a Fai learns something, a very small part of what he learns his transfered to the other Fais who are not born yet... So, Fei Wong decided to force several Fais to learn how to fight, so that Our!Fai, when he is born will developp natural ease in the art of fighting... Wich implies that –at least - a good hundred of Fais must have endured something similar to wath this Fic's Fai went through, since Our!Fai is such a talented fighter.

I feel like I didn't make any sense here oO Please, tell me if there's something you didn't understand^^


	13. Black Moon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** Still. Not. Mine. *Sigh*

"Tu peux encore changer d'avis..." (1)

Yuui shot a worried glance to his brother, who only smiled, before closing his sport bag. He checked he had everything he needed and even more, thanks to his family and friends' gifts, before turning to face Yuui.

"Ne t'en fais pas, ça va aller." He sighed and looked through the window. "J'ai besoin de changer d'air. Voir quelque chose de nouveau... Et puis comme ça, tu auras enfin une chambre pour toi tout seul!"

Fai grinned toward Yuui, who sighed. Then, grabbing his twins' hands, he pressed their foreheads together, closing his eyes.  
They were standing in the room they had always insisted on sharing –much to Nanako-San's distaste, for they were now twenty- surrounded by boxes of clothes, soon to be placed in the house's garbage. Fai smiled again toward his brother, and grabbed his guitar from the bed it laid on. Then, turning around, he cast a nostalgic look at the room. His side was now totally blank, his photos and posters removed, which provided a strange and disturbing contrast with Yuui's wall, still bright with posters, photos and 3D representation of DNA and Chemical elements –something Fai had never quite understood, but pretended to be mildly interested into, if only to please Yuui.

"Et 'Wings', qu'est-ce que tu en fait?"

Fai shook his soulders and tilted his head to the side.

"Bah, Akemi voulait partir de toute façon. Il va jouer dans le groupe de Yamato… 'The Wolves' si je me souviens bien."

"On avait mis tellement de temps dans ce groupe…"

"Rien ne t'empêche d'en trouver un autre."

"Non." Yuui shook his head, sighing. "Ca ne m'intéresse pas de jouer sans toi."

"Dans ce cas, profites-en pour réussir ta médecine!" Fai laughed. "Et on verra quand je reviendrais, okay?" (3)

Yuui gave a small smile before he sighed. Both of the young men looked around them, feeling that they were ending something. Perhaps that was for the better –who knew?- but somehow, Fai couldn't help but feel a bit frightened by the idea of living a full year without his brother, without being able to press their foreheads together when pain or sorrow would be too great to be faced alone.  
Fai had once come accross a interesting quote in a french book, where the author said that she was born at the age of two, thanks to white chocolate.(4) He, Fai Flowright, once called Yuui, was born as an individual being at the age of twenty, 'thanks' to a crazy man who had made it impossible for him to switch place with his twins, and who had also created in him a need for departure... Even though this was by no mean permanent.

Finally, after a long silent moment, Yuui straightened himself and cleared his throat.

"Bon... Je vais dire à Sonomi que tu arrive." (5)

Fai thanked his brother, who disapeared behind the door, raising a hand to his cheek. Fai put his leather jacket on and grabbed his bag, ready to leave, when a very stern looking Kurogane entered the bedroom. His eyes were dry and so were his cheek, but his fists were so tightly clenched together that it made his knuckles go white.

"Hi, Kuro-Doudou." The boy growled, but choose to ignore the infamous name he had been given. "Coming to say goodbye?"

"You wish."

Fai smiled, amused by this oh so Kuro-ish answer, and the boy spoke again.

"I only came because I needed you to put that in the trash bin when you leave."

Fai took what Kurogane was handing him, and found himself looking at a thin leather necklace, with a black and shiny moon-shaped pendant, its thin red outline reflecting the sunlight. It was by no mean something only worth of the trash been. In fact, it looked like someone had bought it only days -maybe only hours- before.

"I'd rather prefer to keep it if you don't mind." Fai said, smiling softly. "It's quite nice."

"Do whatever you want with it, I don't care."

But as he said so, Kurogane couldn't help but blink, and Fai knew exactly what that meant.

"Thank you." He said in a warm tone.

Kurogane shrugged and looked away, and Hiromu's voice came from downstairs:

"Fai! Hurry up boy, or you'll be late!"

"Coming!" The blonde answered quickly. He then turned to Kurogane and added: "Thank you again, Kuro-Pyon."

With that, he pecked a small kiss on the boy's cheek and ran down the stairs, laughing heartily, followed by Kurogane's swearing. He dashed out of the house and joined his twin brother in the backseat of Hiromu's car, a wide smile on his lips.

In less than three hours, he would be flying toward New York and, from there, toward France, where he had decided to spend the upcoming year. He felt a lot lighter already, cheered up by the very idea of leaving Fei Wong Reed behind him.  
When he stepped into the plane that afternoon, this feeling had subsided, in profit of some sort of heartache… He was, after all, leaving his family and friends for a full year, and to someone used to always have _at least_ his brother not too far from him, it was somewhat hard to cope with, even if he was twenty.

Fortunately, he had to comfort him a little bit of home, all concentrated in a small, shiny black moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)"You can still change your mind…"
> 
> (2)"Don't worry, it'll be all right." ... "I need some fresh air. See something new... Besides, now you'll finally have your very own room!"
> 
> (3) "And what about 'Wings'?"
> 
> […]
> 
> "Well Akemi wanted to leave anyway… He's gonna play in Yamato's band… 'The Wolves', if I remember well."
> 
> "We spent so much time getting this band to run…"
> 
> "Nothing forbids you to find another one."
> 
> "No." … "Playing without you doesn't interest me."
> 
> "Then take profit of my absence to succeed in your medicine studies !" … "And we'll see what we do when I come back, okay?"
> 
> (4)Said book is Amélie Nothomb's _Métaphysique des Tubes_... I think it has been translated in english, but I don't know what its title is.
> 
> (5)"Well... I'll tell Sonomi you're ready."


	14. Kitchen Introduction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

"Avoue tout, tu viens d'une famille d'ogres, c'est ça?." Fai laughed as he stepped out of the baker's shop, carrying half a dozen plastic bags –all full of food- along with six fresh _baguettes_. "Il y en a au moins pour un régiment!"(1)

The young woman who accompanied Fai, namely Trisha Welsh, poked her tongue out at him and laughed softly.

"C'est dans la famille de Fred, qu'ils mangent tous pour quatre!" She said with a smile. "Encore que Jérémy aussi a de l'appétit." As Fai chuckled, Trisha rolled her eyes and added : "Et puis on sera nombreux ! Toute sa famille, plus les copines de ses frères, plus Harry… Plus Line, plus Jérémy, plus son ex…"

"Celui de Line, ou de Jérémy ?"

"Des deux, en fait." Trisha laughed. "Ce qui nous fait un total de…" She made a quick count and finished : "Vingt-deux personnes. Donc tu vois, six baguettes c'est loin d'être superflu, surtout si je mange pour deux."

"Ouais, peu importe. Mais ne me met pas à côté de l'inconnu du jour, s'il-te-plait."

"Si tu veux, mais pourquoi ? Tu es plutôt à l'aise avec les gens, d'habitude."

"S'il est sorti avec Line _et_ Jérémy, il a forcément une case qui manque!"(2)

Trisha shook her head and took place in the driver's seat of her bright red sport car, muttering something about changing it for a larger model under her breath. While she set her vehicle into motion, Fai once again wondered how he had gotten involved in this family reunion for what had to be the thousand and first time that day… But honestly, maybe to understand that, he needed to remember how he had become part of Trisha's relative in the first place.

He had arrived in France around midnight, exhausted from his long flight –he had had to spend it half listening to a toad-looking woman's complains about 'education-less children of our days'-, which made him thankful to Hiromu, who had reserved a room for his first night.  
His first preoccupation on the next morning had been to buy the day's newspaper, which he had immediately opened at the page entitled 'Petites Annonces'(3). Strangely enough, the text had stood out to Fai's eyes, as though underlined especially for him: a Norwegian restaurant was looking for a waiter. Fai had immediately applied though he had little hope of being selected: restaurants in France often wanted waiters and waitresses to have some experience, or at least a diploma of some sort proving that they had studied to enter this sort of job. Luckily for him, the restaurant where he applied was a small one, and therefore not as picky as a better known establishment might have been, so that he got the job even without any reference.  
Latter on, Fai had gotten to know his colleagues better. There were not so many of them, and he had soon learned their names and habits. The one he liked best spoke very little and spent all of his free time deeply entranced in novels. He was quite grumpy and often hid his dark blue gaze behind his messy blonde hair, which fell on his eyes. Fai had had to practically badger him, but he had finally learned that the man's name was Lineos Werner, that he was half German, half Australian, gay, and oh so luckily living alone in a flat way to large for his liking. It had taken another month before Lineos –also known as Line- finally agreed to their sharing the place along with the rent.  
A that moment, Fai had honestly thought this was it, that he was settled and that his life would remain mostly separated from Lineos'. In fact, Line and him seldom spoke together, but when they did it was always interesting, for their taste for novels were similar enough for them to agree on many things, but not so much that they would never discuss some author's merits. However, it was pretty much all the extent their relationship would have taken if not for a certain very late evening visit.

 _Line was off at one of his friend's birthday party. Fai hadn't inquired much, mainly because his housemate would probably have grunted instead of answering, but also because he was not_ that _interested in Lineos' life: they got on well, but they were not friends.  
It was half past one in the morning, so that Fai nearly fell off his bed –where he had been reading _ Jane Eyre _\- upon hearing the doorbell ring. He got up, slightly grunting, and walked through the empty flat until he reached the door and opened it, causing two laughing forms to fall at his feet._

 _"Who_ are _you?"_

_There were more laughing and some French swearing before one of the figure got up. A blonde girl with large, apple green eyes and very red cheeks now stood before Fai, using the threshold of the door as a support… She was obviously a bit drunk, but her friend looked even worse, laying on the ground, his long, blue hair spilled around him._

_"'M Trisha. Line's cousin." The girl said. "And this is my best friend, Jérémy. Can we enter please?"_

_"It's way too late to pop up at anyone's door, you know that?"_

_"Yeah, sorry to wake you up, just lost my key…"_

_Fai's eyebrows shot up and he was about to retort, but Trisha ignored him and decided to pull her friend toward the couch standing in the middle of the dining room. Fai sighed very_ very _heavily and followed her, trying to hide the amused smile spreading on his lips._

On the next morning, Fai had been surprised to find Trisha standing in the kitchen in one of Line's T-shirt, while her friend Jérémy made breakfast. "Line's not home yet." She had said. "Must be having fun somewhere... Or helping someone, whatever you think it is." And when Fai had failed to reply to that, Trisha had taken to tell him about her life, about Line's personality, and everything their was to know about her, her cousin and their shared friend Jérémy.  
In fact, Trisha's behaviour was quite ressembling Fai's: she had decided that Fai should be her friend, and had therefore acted as though Fai and her had known each other forever. The difference between Fai and Trisha, which was a very huge one, was that her behaviour was totally natural, when Fai's was nothing but an act... Maybe that was the reason why he liked her so much.

Anyway, after making him her friend, Trisha had decided to make Fai a part of her family, and had therefore invited him to a stupid family reunion, in which he was already too much involved to cancel at the last minute.

**oOo**

It wasn't before eight that Fred, Trisha's husband to be, arrived at her place with his whole family. All of them were redhead, their faces covered with freckles. Fai welcomed them all with his best smile, always a bit stretched but always efficient, before heading straight to Line and Jérémy, who were still cooking... Or at least, Line cooked while Jérémy, sitting on the table, listened to his rambling about how he would be unable to see anything else than red heads for at least two months.

"Oh I'm sure you will overcome it, really."

Fai startled and turned abruptly to the door, where he discovered a tall, handsome man with very long, jet black hair and surprisingly expressive onyx-coloured eyes. His smile was teasing but soft, and it possesed a warmth Fai knew his own lacked. He looked strong, a well strained sportsman, but there was some sort of refinement in him that covered it all. All in all, he had a sort of royal air about him, something very solemn and all the while reassuring. Fai immediately appreciated him.

"Very funny, Ashura." Lineos sighed. "Can't you try and be on my side sometimes?"

"I thought what you liked in me was that I didn't hesitate to contradict you?"

"Oh, shut up!"

Fai restrained a chuckle as Lineos turned to Ashura to glare at him. The man simply smiled, raising an eyebrow. He was about to retort, when Fai choose to clear his throat, in a not so discret manner.

"My, my!" Ashura laughed, "You allowed another person in your dear kitchen? I'm very proud of you Line! And here I thought there would only ever be three of us!"

"Once again: shut. Up."

Ashura merely laughed, and Jérémy adressed Fai:

"Fai, this is Ashura Celes. Line and I met him in Germany five years ago, and we've been friends ever since."

Friends, and a bit more than that, Fai thought, but said nothing.

"Ashura, this young man is Fai Flowright. He's currently sharing Line's flat, and undergoing Trisha's friendly dictatorship."

"I heard that one!" was the reply Jérémy got from the living room.

"Anyway," the blue haired man went on, "he's quite a nice guy. And he shares your love for Goldman."

Jean-Jacques Goldman(4), a French musician. Fai had fallen in love with his music when he was seven, and had always loved it ever since. When Jérémy mentioned the musician's name, Ashura's smile went from sweet and gentle to positively bright, and it took some seconds to Fai to remember he had to breathe.

"Well, if he speaks the truth, I think we have a lot of things to share." Ashura smiled. "Might I invite you to leave those two to flirt alone and sit on some sofa?"

Fai nodded with a smile.

"Of course, Ash," Ashura raised a surprised eyebrow but didn't protest against the nickname. "It's always good to meet a fellow music-lover!"

Ashura laughed, and Fai knew he was falling in love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)"Admit it, you're from an ogre family, aren't you?" ... "There's enough to feed a regiment at least!"
> 
> (2)"It's Fred's relatives who all eat like four!" … "Though Jérémy has a good appetite too." … "And we'll be quite numerous! His whole family, plus his brother's girlfriends, plus Harry, plus Line, plus Jérémy, plus his ex…"
> 
> "Line's, or Jérémy's?"
> 
> "Both, actually." … "Which gives us a total of…" … "Twenty two person. See, six baguettes' far from too much, especially since I'm eating for two."
> 
> "Yeah, whatever. But don't seat me beside the day's stranger, please."
> 
> "As you wish, but why? You're usually rather at ease with other people."
> 
> "Well, if he went out with Line and Jérémy, he obviously misses some part of his brain!"
> 
> (3)Babelfish translates this as "Classified"… It's the part where people put their message when they wish to find/sell a Job, car, flat, etc…
> 
> (4)If you're interested to know what kind of music he did, you can always YouTube one of his song. My personal favorites are _Tournent les Violons_ (Spinning Violins), _Né en 17 à Leidenstadt_ (Born in 17 in Leidenstadt) and _Je te donne._ (I Give You). I also suggest you look out for Lyrics translations if you can, for JJG's songs are always better appreciated when you understand what it tells of :)


	15. Italian Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

Getting to know Ashura better was not an easy task, but in the end, Fai managed to talk Lineos into inviting him to have dinner with them. Of course, he was forced to admit he had a crush on him in the process, but really, it was worth.

So somehow, the blonde ended up one Monday evening, sitting in front of Ashura in the middle of a fine Italian restaurant… alone. While Fai kept on torturing his napkin and glancing toward the door to try and see Line and Jérémy (who were supposed to join them) Ashura simply observed him with a gentle smile, the exact way one would have observed a small, trapped animal desperately trying to escape.

"You know", he said after almost an hour of waiting, "I don't think they're going to come."

Fai shot him a worried glance, and Ahsura went on:

"They're probably having sex, or arguing over that same fact somewhere, so they won't get out of that for at least another hour… Maybe we should consider ordering something?"

Panic struck, Fai barely found enough brain to nod and hide behind his menu. Of course, he was glad to be able to spend time with Ashura but, truth be told, he had expected to spend it among friends at first, the very idea of being alone with his "love interest" –as Trisha would say- scaring him to death.

"I don't mind, though." Ashura mused after a while. "I mean the fact that they left us alone together. It's not like we're so desperate to be here, is it?"

"No!" Fai exclaimed, a bit too loudly to his taste. "I… uh, I'm glad we get to know each other better… Though I must confess I didn't expect the evening to end up being… you know, just the two of us."

"To be honest…" Ashura began carefully, "I did. Those two really need to stop pretending they're not in love."

He smiled fondly, his eyes going back to his menu, long black hair brushing the sides of his face in a silk-like touch. Fai couldn't help but steal… well, more than just "occasional" glances at him, hypnotized, his breath a bit shorter than usual.

"Well…" Ashura resumed after they ordered. "I know you met Line at work, so I won't ask you about that… Do you have any hobby?"

Fai nodded, furious at himself for being so self conscious. What was wrong with him that night? That he didn't know. Maybe it was the self-confidence and the gentleness flowing from Ashura that overwhelmed him, changing him into some strange lamb relishing his shepherd's lead and whole personality. Somehow, it felt good to let himself be lead, stop thinking for a while and just lean into the way things happened, despite this feeling that, somehow, he might not be worth it.

"I… I like writing songs. My brother and I had a band back there in Savanah."

"Really? What kind of music did you do?"

"Rock music." Fai answered, relaxing slightly. "Yuui played the piano, and I was the guitarist. I broke off the band when I moved to France… it was getting too complicated to find practice times." He joked.

"I can imagine that…" Ashura laughed softly. "Do you play anything else, aside from guitar?"

"Violin. I like to try flute, sometimes, but I'm not very good at it." Fai shrugged. "I don't mind if I can play only two instruments, as long as I can play music… I can't remember not listening music at least once a day, and ever since my parents died…"

Fai didn't end his sentence, his voice trailing off, not wishing to go further into his explanations. Although Frey and Mayura were long dead by this time, it still felt weird to speak about them with someone else than Chii or Yuui. Even Tomoyo was rarely able to get him to speak about his parent, so discussing who they had been with Ashura felt strange, even though by this time he was already pretty much in love with him.

"So," Ashura said as a waiter brought their starters, sensing Fai's uneasiness, "tell me more about that band of yours."

Fai sighed, not knowing what to begin with. There were so many things to be told about Wings, about the way it was born, what it meant to him, what relief it brought him to play with his brother and friends and why… When he began to speak, the blonde felt as though he was jumping from a cliff… but then, Ashura was someone very caring and understanding, and Fai didn't realize he was telling him everything about his life until they were about to leave the restaurant.

"Might I confess something?" Fai hesitated while waiting for his coat.

"Of course."

"I didn't expect Line and Jérémy to forget us but… honestly, I'm glad they did."

Ashura smiled fondly, and Fai felt butterflies flutter in his stomach.


	16. Unexpected Length

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

_After he had left Ashura in front of the restaurant, Fai went back to his flat to find it empty, a piece of paper covered in Jérémy's writing lying on the kitchen table. Fai read it, a smile slowly spreading on his lips as he went throughout the text. When, after a while, the blonde was done reading, he went back to the hallway and picked up the phone._

__  
**oOo**   


" _Celes residence."_

_There was a startled noise at the end of the line, as though the person calling was surprised to hear such an answer. He held back a sigh and choose to go on:_

" _Hello, Celes residence here… might I help you?"_

" _Uh, y-yes!" the voice stammered, probably a bit embarrassed. "I'm a friend of Ashura's… might I speak to him please?"_

" _Of course. Wait a minute please."_

_He put on the waiting music, preventing the man calling from hearing what was told in the domestics' resting room._

" _Oh, Ashura!" He called toward the library, "Phone for you. Hurry up!"_

" _Doumeiki!" an angry voice called from the kitchen, "will you ever learn to be respectful of your master?"_

_He ignored Watanuki and went to the dining room to dress up the table, a finger firmly planted in his ear, barely nodding in acknowledgment when he walked past Ashura._

" _Ashura Celes." He said when picking up the phone._

" _Hum…hi!" a soft voice said. "It's Fai."_

" _Oh, hello again, Fai." Ashura smiled. "Can I help you in any way?"_

" _Well, yes, you can." There was a soft, nervous chuckle. "You see, I've just come home, and it's empty… There was a note from Jérémy. He and Line took a plane for Australia three hours ago…"_

" _Did it mention were in Australia?"_

" _Yes, they were headed to Darwin."_

" _My God, they're already on the path to wedding!" Ashura chuckled. "And so, of what help can I be?"_

" _Well… I'm not very comfortable with being alone here tonight and Trisha's in London… Would you… hum… would you greatly mind my crashing on your couch?"_

" _Well yes of course!" It sounded like Fai restrained a sigh, before Ashura went on: "I'd rather prefer your crashing in one of the guestrooms. If you don't mind, that is."_

" _Oh… well, no, I don't… t-thank you!"_

" _You're welcome. Do you have something to write on? I'll give you my address… unless Line wrote it down in his agenda as well?"_

" _I don't know, I don't have his agenda. Your phone number was on the ICE list."_

" _In Case of Emergency?"_

" _Yes."_

" _I see. Anyway, are you ready to write?"_

__  
**oOo**   


_About an hour later, Fai found himself in front of the biggest house he had ever entered… and God knew he had seen big houses. A tall, grumpy man with a finger in planted in his left ear opened the door, and Fai was introduced to Ashura's hallway._

" _Nom de…" he stopped himself, for he didn't know if Ashura understood swear words or not. "You could get my bedroom in there!"_

" _Well, your flat isn't exactly huge." Ashura laughed behind him._

" _N-no! I, uh… I meant my old bedroom, back in Savannah. I'm… really impressed."_

" _You really should not, I inherited all this. It isn't worth worshiping in my hands."_

" _Well, that's impressive anyway."_

**oOo**

Fai would never be able to explain how this first night became a week… neither could he explain how said week became a month. All he knew was that by the time he thought of handing his flat's keys back to the owner in September, almost a year after his arrival in France, he'd been living at Ashura's for nearly six months.


	17. Not Everyone

_One step at a time, they had slowly gotten used to live together, both of them taking their marks around each other, careful not to break what was slowly building between them. After six month, when Fai's things had been moved at Ashura's and the blonde had handed out his own flat's keys, they had finally begun to call the residence "their house".  
Fai had had to grow accustomed to the even character of Doumeiki, and Watanuki's constant shouting, their bickering and the non-sense of it, the weekly visits of Ashura's friend, Himawari, which often provoked a small cataclysm in the kitchen (for Watanuki had a crush on her and wanted what she ate at the mansion to be nothing short of perfect)…_

_All in all, Ashura and him led a happy life, peaceful and well planned, though there_ had _been some disagreements between them, the biggest of all about Fai's working or not._

__  
**oOo**   


" _You're not done with your studies yet!"_

" _I know." He shrugged calmly. "But I'm good enough to be taken anyway."_

" _You can't possibly be serious!"_

" _Now, Ashura, are you my boyfriend of my father?"_

_There was a tensed pause as Ashura took Fai's expression in acknowledgment, bewildered at how harsh it was._

" _A chance like this won't come again." The blonde said calmly. "And I am not going to let it pass. I will accept the job."_

" _You shouldn't! Please, take some time to think about it!"_

__  
**oOo**   


_But there were some things Fai didn't need to think about anymore. Some things he had decided long before this day, things he would never let go of, no matter who asked him to do so. He usually appeared as someone relatively compliant, especially to Ashura… however, on this occasion, he had proved his companion he could be stubborn enough to hold his ground against him…_

_And so Fai had become a Violin player in Vienna's Symphonic Orchestra. Of course, he wasn't the best one, he knew that, but it didn't matter. He was finally able to make a living by playing music, spending his time between practices, concerts and travels. Ashura usually came with him, following the Orchestra wherever it went. He was in no need for money, he had said when Fai had pointed it out, and he wanted to be with him. The blonde didn't question it: it made him happy._

_And then, he was told the Orchestra would play in New York, and Fai was terrifyingly excited about seeing his parents and family again and then…_  
Oh, he   
had  
 _to see his family as soon as possible._

**oOo**

Fai had told him his brother, sister and friends were calm, and Ashura had believed him… what he had not taken into account was that it was _Fai_ who spoke, and Fai though an angry Watanuki was nothing but "a bit noisy"… this was probably the reason why he almost fell back into the taxi when two blonde cannonballs nearly tackled Fai to the ground with very loud and cheerful laughter.

It took a little while for Fai to finally come out of this mess of hugs, cheers and kisses, and when he did, Ashura couldn't help but frown. There was something different with him, but he couldn't quite see what.

"Je crois que tu as oublié de préciser un détail…" the blonde said toward his sister, who had her back toward Ashura, locking her other brother –Yuui, if he remembered well- in a strong headlock. (1)

The girl, who was rather short -especially compared to Fai-, darted in the air on her brother's shoulder, and they spun around, causing Ashura to gasp when he saw his startled face.

"Didn't I tell you Yuui and I were twins?"

**oOo**

"Tu ne trouves pas que c'est le plus bel arbre de Noël que nous ayons jamais fait?" (2)

Ashura watched Fai's eleven years old sister bounce around him like a hysterical rabbit, her knee-long hair floating behind her as a comet's tail, a wide smile spread on her lips. Her two brothers had been chattering with her excitedly since Ashura and Fai got into large apartment. It was, if he had understood well, a family property of the Flowright's, currently taken care of by the twins and Chii's adoptive parents.

The three of them had decorated the tree on their own, for Ashura had not dared interfere with their _retrouvailles_ , as Fai named it. The twins always remained close to each other, whispering in each other's ears while shooting amused glances toward Ashura, who sat still in the armchair he had been provided, not even bothering to try and make sense out of their conversation –though living in France, he had never really needed to learn French, so that he was now completely at loss and, to be honest, it was beginning to get on his nerves…

But then, Fai smiled at him and he looked so brightly and sincerely _happy_ Ashura didn't dare scold him.

**oOo**

"Hey, Kuro-Meow!"

Fai ran to the door and lifted a tall, ink haired boy into the air, spinning around and laughing happily.

"MY NAME IS KUROGANE, DAMNIT!"

Still laughing, Fai let go of Kurogane and ruffled his hair playfully, before turning toward the door. Ashura watched him hug a tall and royal-looking young woman, whose long hair fell down to her waist. Behind her came a couple who looked like her parents. Ashura watched two young men coming, one with silver hair and big, round spectacles, the other one carrying a small, fast asleep brunette in his arms.  
Fai welcomed them all cheerfully, hugging and kissing every one of them with happy tears in his eyes, before turning toward Ashura again:

"Ash, this is my family."

Ashura bowed, smiling, and watched attentively as Fai introduced his relatives to him: there were Hiromu and his wife, Sonomi, the Flowrights' adoptive parents. Then came Tomoyo-aux-doigts-de-fée –whatever that meant- (3) and her eleven years old brother, Kuro-Wanko –"That's KUROGANE!". The silver haired man was Tsukihiro Yukito, also known as Yue, moon in Chinese –and Ashura could totally see where that came from. And then, last but not least, came Kinomoto Touya –Yukito's boyfriend, as it seemed- with his father and his nine years old sister, Sakura.  
Ashura wasn't really certain he would appreciate them as much as Fai did but, seeing how happy and proud his boyfriend looked when he introduced them made him promise he would at the very least behave correctly toward them.

"Okay," Fai finally managed say between two hugs and compliments, "now I've got very good news for you!"

"Wait!" Chii called out. "Il faut attendre Sayoran-Kun!"(4)

Fai sighed and cast an apologetic look toward Ashura, before nodding.

"D'accord."

**oOo**

First, they had had to wait for Sayoran, then for diner, then for dessert, then for the gifts… in the end, it was nearly midnight when Fai finally managed to grab his glass and softly strike it with his knife, dragging all the attention toward him.

"As I stated it before, I have good news for you…"

There were cheers and laughter, and Ashura couldn't help but smile endearingly: seeing so much love and happiness, things he had lacked in his own family, made his heart melt.

"Now, now, I haven't told you anything yet!" Fai laughed.

"Then get it out already!" Touya grunted, earning himself a playful smack from Yukito.

"Yeah, tell us!" Chii approved.

"Well… Ashura and I are getting married."

Once again, Ashura felt as though a hurricane had erupted right before him, as Chii and Yuui engulfed Fai in a new bone-breaking hug, laughing and crying at the same time.

"But when?" Hiromu shouted through the noise. " _When_ are you getting married?"

"In May." Ashura answered, chuckling softly. "The twenty sixth."

"Oh," Tomoyo squealed, "I _have_ to make your suits!"

"Later!" Yuui told her. "Now, it's time to celebrate! Fai, tu as du champagne quelque part?"

"Oh, je pourrais en avoir?" Chii asked hopefully.

"Pas question!" The twins said in unison.

"Pff, elle est nulle votre fête!"(5)

There was a short, surprised silence before Fai addressed Tomoyo:

"I think she spends way too much time with your brother!"

**oOo**

"Kurogane?"

Kurogane's back straightened ever so slightly, unnoticeable to anyone but her.

"Kuro-kun… are you alright?"

"Of course!" he snapped. "Why shouldn't I be?"

Chii restrained a sigh and walked to the bed where she sat wordlessly, smoothing her red velvet dress to push her nervousness away. He didn't, couldn't fool her… hadn't she known him forever? Wasn't she closer to him than anybody, closer, even, than his own sister? He couldn't fool her and he knew it, but that didn't mean that he didn't try.

"It's true that they look really happy."

"At least now he's finally silent." The boy huffed. "Good riddance!"

"Kuro-kun…"

"What?"

"I…" Chii hesitated, then sighed. "I'm going to bed… just… just come by if you need me, okay?"

Kurogane shrugged, not wishing to answer his friend question. Chii sighed again, then turned to the door.

"I think I'm going to bed, too." Kurogane said quietly as she opened the door. "It's beginning to rain."

Chii turned back, shooting a quick glance toward the unusually cloudless sky, and left the room wordlessly.

**oOo**

"So… how do you find them?"

"They're nice." Ashura smiled. "Though I think you lied when you said they were calm."

"Oh, but they are!" Fai laughed, trying to keep his voice low. "It's just that they were happy."

"I know. But still."

Fai laughed sweetly, lacing his finger with Ashura's before joining him under the covers.

"Thank you." He said.

"For what?" the other asked, slowly kissing his way down Fai's neck.

"For trying to befriend them. I…"

"Fai," Ashura sighed, brushing his fingers against Fai's cool skin, "I know my parents and I don't like each other, and I honestly don't really care about this whole 'family' thing… but if it's important to you, then it's important to me, too."

Fai sighed contentedly, totally unaware that not everyone shared his happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Disc  
> **
> 
> (1) "I think you forgot to mention some detail…"
> 
> (2) "Don't you think it's the loveliest Christmas tree we ever had?"
> 
> (3) Tomoyo-who-has-fairy-fingers. I don't know the English equivalent for this expression, it means she's gifted for sewing^^ Typically Tomoyo, isn't it?
> 
> (4) "We have to wait for Sayoran-Kun!"
> 
> (5) "Fai, Do you have champagne somewhere?"
> 
> "Oh, can I have some?"
> 
> "No way!"
> 
> "Pff, your party sucks!"
> 
> laimer: I wish they were mine... but they're not


	18. Til Death Do Us Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

The twenty-sixth of May was, as expected, a bright and sunny day, strong wind rushing down the streets toward the City Hall, messing with hairdos and dresses in a playful, summer-like way, the tree's branches happily bouncing in its rhythm.

"Il y a trop de vent!" Chii exclaimed with a heartful laugh. "Je vais finir par perdre ma barrette!" (1)

She heard Tomoyo grunt behind her and stuck her tongue out at her, spinning on the tip of her toes, a bright and happy smile firmly planted on her lips and in her eyes.

"Come on, Tomo-Chan! Why aren't you smiling?"

"Because of _this_!"

Chii looked at what she pointed and couldn't help but chuckle fondly. Through the building's window, she could see Fai bouncing from one end of the room to the other, his hair dancing on his shoulders as he moved, his eyes brighter than they had ever been. Yuui was inside, too, and he looked so proud and warm Chii thought she could feel it reach her event through the walls. She gazed at the sky and sighed contentedly, before turning toward Tomoyo again:

"Aren't you happy for him? You jealous?"

"I just don't want him to ruin his suit!" Tomoyo protested.

"Costume-Freak!" Chii teased.

She ran away from Tomoyo's mock-wrath and rushed into the city-hall, her long hair and white dress floating behind her. Though she had teased Tomoyo about her supposed jealousy, she knew it wasn't her who might have been saddened by the upcoming wedding….

"Kuro-Kun?"

He was already sitting at his place, eyes fixed straight ahead of him, his back stiff and his hands clenched. Chii sat next to him, careful to remove the bouquet of prom-roses she had been given for the occasion before taking place.

"It's a good day for a wedding." Kurogane stated blankly.

"You're right." Chii smiled timidly. "The weather's wonderful."

"Yeah."

There was a short silence, then:

"Kuro-Kun?"

"What?"

"Fai wants us to spend next holidays at his place… will you come?"

"I've already planned something else."

Chii knew it was a lie –and a blatant one at that: Kurogane himself had told her he didn't know what to do for their upcoming summer vacations- but she didn't mention it.

"Okay. He'll be disappointed but he'll understand."

She could swear she heard something sounding like "Like he cares"… but it was Kurogane and even if he _had_ said this -which was rather improbable anyway- he would never admit it.

"Try and enjoy the day anyway, will you?"

Sometimes, Chii thought as she went to the door, where people were coming in, she felt really sad for her best friend.

**oOo**

Things were not really blurred, more like unreal, like when you dream and it all looks real, but you know it's only a dream… but now the dream was real, and it was time to walk in and smile and be happy, but Fai was downright terrified and his feet refused to move. He knew everyone was waiting for him, and he knew Ashura would be worried, maybe even upset if he didn't enter the room quickly, but nothing could make him move.

Chii finally came out of the room, probably sent by Yuuii who, as his Best Man, was stuck at the front of the room, just near the Mayor's desk. She took his hand, large, golden ayes boring into his own, a gentle smile adorning her face:

"Pourquoi tu n'entres pas?" she asked. "Tu ne veux pas l'épouser?"

"Si, bien sur! C'est juste… Je sais pas… Ca fait un peu peur… Tu vois ce que je veut dire?"

She hesitated but her eyes screamed 'no' and Fai abruptly remembered that she was only twelve, after all.

"C'est pas grave." He said. "Simplement… Je sais pas… Je…"(2)

"What are you waiting for?"

Fai's gaze jumped to Kurogane, standing on the threshold of the door, his red glare boring into Fai's skin easier than a knife into butter.

"I'm sorry Kuro-Pii, I…"

"Don't tell me you're having second thoughts?"

"In fact… I'm afraid I might be…."

After all, getting married wasn't something to be done lightly. What if he and Ashura didn't suit each other, after all? What if they weren't happy together? What if Fai tripped in the middle of the room? What if he regretted his decision? What if he had been wrong to insist on making his wedding look like a traditional one as much as possible? What if things went horribly wrong and he ended up divorcing and…

"Now, you really are a pain in the ass sometimes, you know that?"

Fai, totally flabbergasted, could do nothing but stare blankly at Kurogane, thinking that maybe he was right in saying this.

"You dragged us all the way from Savannah to Oslo because, I quote 'it'll be funnier to get married in your father's country', you spoke of nothing but your wedding for _month_ , you even forgot Chii's birthday present –which you had never done before- and after all that shit, you're having second thoughts?"

"Kuro-Chuu, you're making it sound rather stupid, you know…."

"Because it _is_ stupid! Now you're going to walk into this stupid room, get married and start rambling about how happy you are, or I'm definitely gonna chop your head off… understood?"

Fai couldn't help it: he burst into nervous laughter, relief, happiness and excitement flowing and melting in his veins, bringing happy tears to his eyes.

"Yes sir." He managed to breathe."

"Good. Come on, Chii."

Kurogane stormed back in the room and, with a deep inspiration, Fai stepped in as well.

**oOo**

"Jeg erklærer dere herved rette ektefolk, må Gud forbarme seg over dere." (3)

A split second silence and then, as Fai happily leaned into Ashura's kiss, a deafening storm of joyful yells and cheers and applause. There were butterflies in Fai's stomach, huge ones, flying around in a mad and victorious dance, his heart reaching one thousand beat per minute at least.

Ashura suddenly grabbed his young husband's hand and pulled him into a loving, bone-breaking hug, his smile almost as wide as Fai's. The latter buried his face in Ashura's hair, laughing with joy, and breathed his scent.

"Jeg elsker deg." (4)

"What does that mean?"

Fai chuckled, his smile never wavering, and kissed his husband –oh, how he loved this word!

"Mmm… I think I can guess what it is."

"And?"

"And I love you, too. And I want to be with you 'til death do us apart!"

"Wonderful!" Fai exclaimed, clapping his hands. "That was exactly what I had in mind!"

Fai threw the flower bouquet he had insisted he had to carry up into the air and let a joyful yawp escape his lips as Yuui's finger got hold of it.

Immediately, Fai's twin turned to Tomoyo and kneeled in front of her. Her eyes opened wide in shock, her breath obviously difficult, she looked hesitant for a short moment, until Yuui added:

"I'll let you sew all my suits if you say yes."

Tomoyo lunged forward and grabbed Yuui's neck, endless repeating the word "yes", as the guests cheered once more.

Even Kurogane couldn't help but smile when he saw his older sister so happy, and he was grateful for it, for it prevented Fai from noticing how painful it was to let him go away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) "There's too much wind!" … "I'm going to lose my hairpin!"
> 
> (2) "Why don't you come in?" she asked. "Don't you want to marry him?"
> 
> "Yes, I do! I'm just… I don't know. It's frightening… See what I mean?"
> 
> […]
> 
> "Nevermind." … "Thing is… I don't know… I…"
> 
> (3)"I now declare you husband and husband, may God bless you."
> 
> (4)"I love you!"


	19. Tsubasa

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

**Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

 **A/N:** As promised, there's a long jump in time, here! This chapter is set seven years after _Til Death Do Us Apart_! Obviously, there's a reason for that but… you'll just have to discover it along the next chapters ^^

 **Quick word to the reviewer:**

 _Sinclair:_ Well thank you! I'm glad you like the relationship between Chii and Kurogane, especially since I needed to alter Chii's character a bit compared to what she is in _Chobits_ (though I don't think she's _that_ different from who she is in TRC) and I wasn't sure how people would take it^^'  
As for Kurogane's perceptiveness, he just comes this way… when I try to write him a bit more naïve (because he's not a grown up yet) it feels as though he were barking at me for writing him wrong lol… he leaves me no other choice!  
Yuui and Tomoyo came naturally as well. I suppose it's their destiny, I don't know… they seem to balance each other somehow… just as naturally as Kurogane and Fai do, in a way. So yeah, they pretty much got together on their own accord lol  
And finally, concerning Fai's quote… Well… I can't say anything or I'd spoil the thing, wouldn't I?

 _RemiRobin:_ Here you go, then^^

 _Kinibop:_ Well it was only normal to thank you^^ I'm glad you like the chapter, it always makes my day when someone tell me that^^

 _Kayla-chan1990_ : Of course! Fai can never resist Kurogane… Not that he wishes to, of course ^_~ And you'll get the answer to your question in a few chapters, don't worry^^

 _Jordanne:_ Oh, I'm flattered I got your love for AU to increase! And don't worry, Fai and Ashura won't stay together forever, I wouldn't do that to our dear Kurogane! I hope you'll like the rest of the story as well!

 _Tuliharja:_ Yeah, no matter how difficult it is, Kurogane always try to act for Fai's best interest :) And no, as you pointed it out, Ashura doesn't know Fai's real name. the fact that he didn't know that Yuui was his twin, however, isn't _that_ relevant in my mind: I think Fai simply forgot to tell it because he's so used to people knowing it ^^' But back to the matter of the name, Kurogane doesn't know Fai's real name is Yuui either… (yet? ^_~)  
I'm not sure I understand what you mean by registrar… they got married in front of the mayor, if that's what you ask^^ Though it's hard to imagin Fai here for me as well but… Well I didn't want them to be married religiously (and I think you'll understand why later in the story^^) Same applies as to why Norway: the reason is quite the same, but I can't explain it yet ^^'  
And yes, Yuui and Tomoyo got together^^ In fact, it's much easier for them than it'll be for Fai and Kuro lol  
Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy this new chapter^^

 _Thanks a lot_ to all of you, anonymous readers and people who added this story on their favorite and/or alert list, even without leaving a review!

 **19 Tsubasa.**

Yuui had needed time to get used to the idea of Fai living abroad. He had, of course, done his best to conceal it, feeling that Fai had been worried enough without that… but still, it had been long for him to accept that they would no longer be able to see each other whenever they wanted.

In the end though, not only had he grown accustomed to his weekly hours-long conversations on the phone with his brother, Yuui had gradually learned to accept that this separation had benefited him as well as Fai… it had enabled him to find love for once.

Before Fai flew to France, Yuui had never really looked à Tomoyo as a potential partner. Sure, he had always liked her, but more as his brother's best friend than as anything else. Without Fai around, Tomoyo had been forced to find someone else to replace him in listening to her endless costume and/or sewing related rants…. Touya and Yukito had been too busy flirting with each other –though "beating around the bush" was a more proper way of describing their relationship of the time- and neither Chii nor Kurogane had agreed to let her drag them into this kind of conversation.  
Of course, Tomoyo had tried to chat with Sakura, but the girl had been too young and busy following Sayoran like a puppy dog to listen to her… besides, following Sayoran seldom brought her near Tomoyo anyway, since the boy rarely left Chii and Kurogane's side.

So in the end, Tomoyo had finally resorted to talk with Yuui, and she had been very pleased when he had proved to be, if not very fond of the topic, at least a good listener. As for Yuui, he had discovered that Tomoyo wasn't _just_ a costume-freak, but also a good camerawoman, who knew how to listen and help her friends, gentle and careful as a mother would have been. And so, thanks to Fai's departure, Yuui and Tomoyo had started dating.

Still, there had always been a part of Yuui who longed for Fai's return, wishing he could be here to share everything that happened… Maybe it was this part of him that failed to notice something was wrong with Fai when he suddenly showed up at his place.

 **oOo**

"Now, Fai, it's not that I don't like seeing you…" Tomoyo began, "But why aren't you in Berlin with Ashura?"

"Ah, we changed our plans." Fai smiled. "I think I'm going to stay here for a while… do you think Sonomi and Hiromu will let me stay in our old room for a couple of days?"

"Hum, je ne pense pas que tu aies très envie de retourner vivre au manoir en ce moment." Yuui said.

"Ah bon? Pourquoi?"

" 'Oncle Barry' est là."

" 'Oncle Barry'? Celui qui refuse qu'on prononce mon nom en sa présence depuis qu'il sait que je sui gay?" (1)

Yuui nodded and Fai sighed heavily.

"Tomoyo? Do you have any idea?"

"Maybe you could stop speaking French so that other people understand what you say? Hum?"

"Well I was thinking of something else…" Fai said.

"And abandon French is totally out of the question." Chii added from the other side of the table.

"Well that was just an idea." Tomoyo sighed, a bit annoyed. "Anyway, I'm sorry Fai, but we don't have enough room for a third person here… we don't even have a decent couch since the old one broke off last week, and besides…" Tomoyo pointed at her belly. "It's already bad enough with her being _inside_ me so I don't think you really want to hang around for too long!"

"Pity." Fai sighed again, smiling tenderly toward his –as of yet invisible- niece or nephew. "Well, I suppose I'll have to find a hotel then!" Fai smiled. "I can afford it after all, can't I?"

"Pourquoi tu ne viendrais pas plutôt chez moi?" Chii suggested. "Mike s'est tiré avec sa copine, donc Sayoran, Kuro-kun et moi on cherche quelqu'un pour prendre sa chambre… si ça ne te gêne pas de vivre avec des gens qui ont dix ans de moins de toi, c'est sûrement la meilleure option que tu aie…."

Fai pondered his sister's proposition for a minute or two, and then shrugged:

"Bah, si ça devient insupportable, je peu toujours rompre le contrat !" (2)

And that was how, though he was twenty-nine, Fai ended up moving in a flat where only student had been admitted before….

 **oOo**

What Fai had not expected was Kurogane's reaction.

"I DON'T NEED A BABY SITTER!"

"But Kuro-Meow, I'm not here to watch over you!" Fai giggled. "I…."

"I. Don't. Care. AND MY NAME'S KUROGANE, TRY AND REMEMBER IT YOU STUPID…"

One moment, Kurogane looked like he was at a loss for words because of his anger, and Fai shot him an exaggeratedly innocent look:

"Stupid what, Kuro-Ron?"

"STUPID… MAGE!" (3)

There was a pause as Chii burst out laughing, and Sayoran restrained a smile at Kurogane's surprising choice of word.

"Well… that one was rather unexpected." Fai smiled. "Anyway, I swear I have not been appointed by your parents! I just need somewhere to crash down… Kuro-sweety wouldn't throw me in the street now, would he?"

"Oh, fine… BUT DON'T YOU TRY AND MESS WITH MY LIFE, UNDERSTOOD?"

"Perfectly so, sir!" Fai answered, imitating a military salute. "But I'm not sure I'll be able to follow your orders, sir!"

"Ch'… damn you."

Kurogane left the room and Fai was left in the dining room with Sayoran and Chii:

"Ah, Kuro-Baby's growing up…" he sighed, pretending to wipe tears away from his eye. "I can still remember a time, not so long ago, when he would spend most of his time clutching to my trousers!"

"I HEARD THAT AND IT'S NOT TRUE!"

 **oOo**

"The salt's more to your left, Fai." Hiromu told him with a caring smile. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes!" Fai answered, stifling a yawn. "Just a bit tired because of different times… my eye tends to give me a bit of trouble when I'm tired. Besides, I've almost lost my depth perception since I got the scar." He shrugged. "I'm used to it, don't worry."

He shot a reassuring smile toward Kurogane, whose frown didn't move in the least, proving that his instinct was as sharp as it had ever been.  
It was a bright June afternoon, and Fai had been living with Chii, Sayoran and Kurogane for one week already, sparing his time between violin or guitar practice and domestic chores, cleaning and ordering the flat, with the exception of Sayoran's bedroom –which was already taken care of- and Kurogane's one, for he had been strictly forbidden to enter it.

"Now, Fai…" Sonomi asked him, "what do you plan on doing next? After all, you'll have to end your holidays quite soon, now, or your orchestra might want to fire you…"

"Actually," Fai answered with a smile, "I left the orchestra."

"You _what_?" Hiromu hissed. "Why? When?"

"Just before coming back here. I wanted something new… classic is wonderful, but I'm not entirely free in this music… I was thinking of forming my own band."

"Vraiment?" Chii exclaimed, leaning forward on the table. "Tu vas sérieusement te mettre au rock?"

"Yep."

"J'en suis!" the teenage girl shouted, nearly knocking Sakura down in her joy. "Ca va être géant!"

"J'en suis aussi." Yuui approved. "Being a doctor's great" he added when he saw Sonomi's, Hiromu's and Tomoyo's shocked looks "but I'll enjoy having something else to do."

"Je veux être pro." Fai informed. "Tu vas avoir du mal à assister à toutes les répétitions tout en t'occupant de tes patients!"

"Si je dois choisir, je prendrais le groupe." Yuui said with determination.

"Alors d'accord." Fai smiled, a bit surprised. "We'll just need someone for the bass, and a name."

"Sayoran pourrais être notre bassiste!" Chii suggested. "Il a le niveau!"

"Elle a raison. Il est vraiment bon." (4)

Sayoran, having heard his name, turned to his friend, who quickly translated their conversation for him. His first reaction was to blush deeper than ever and then, when the Flowright children finally convinced him that he _was_ good enough to become a pro, he stole a quick glance toward Sakura, who nodded imperceptibly.

"Uh… okay."

"YEAH!" Chii cheered.

"So you just need a name now." Touya asked them from beside Sakura. "Any idea yet?"

"Tsubasa." Kurogane answered.

"Why 'Tsubasa', Kurogane-sempai?" Sakura asked timidly.

"Because," the boy answered, "when they were younger, Fai and Yuui were part of a band called Wings."

"This band will be made with a piece of 'Wings'." Sayoran explained when Sakura looked confused. "And what's a 'piece' of wing?"

"A feather!" Sakura understood.

"Yes. But really, Tsubasa sounds better, doesn't it?" Chii smiled.

Sakura nodded and Fai took a deep breath before speaking, a wide smile spread on his lips:

"Well then, if there is no objection, the band is now formed and named…."

"I have one." Tomoyo interjected with a stern voice. "I won't let Yuui enter this band unless…"

"Unless what?" Kurogane grunted.

"Unless you're taking me as your official costume designer."

Fai laughed wholeheartedly, gesturing that he agreed, and it took him five full minutes to catch his breath.

"My poor Kuro-Chibi," Fai smirked, certain to get an angry reply, "you're not going to get rid of me anytime soon!"

But Kurogane simply averted his eyes, and Fai was so busy concealing his surprise that he didn't notice Chii's wink of understanding to Sayoran.

End of _Tsubasa._

* * *

(1) "Err, I don't think you want to be back at the manor these days."

"Really? Why?"

"'Uncle Barry's there."

"'Uncle Barry'? The one who can't stand hearing my name since he knows I'm gay?"

(2) "Why don't you come at my place instead?" Chii suggested. "Mike ran off with his girlfriend, so Sayoran, Kuro-kun and I are looking for someone to take his room… if you don't mind living with people ten years younger than you are and taking part in home chores, it's the best option you have…."

[…]

"Well, if it becomes unbearable I can always resign!"

(3)I think Kurogane, when he's nervous (nervous, mind you, not angry) would be prone to have an awkward choice of swear words and… well, how could I resist?

(4) "Really?" … "You're seriously getting into rock music?"

"Yep."

"I'm in!" … "That'll be awesome!"

"I'm joining too." […]

"I want to be a pro." … "It'll be complicated for you to get to all the practices and still take care of your patients."

"If I have to choose, I'll take the band."

"Fine then." […]

"Sayoran could be our bassist!" … "He's good enough!"

"She's right. He's really good."

Ahah! See, Tuliharja, I told you I'd need the name "Tsubasa" later in the story! :D

So, next chapter's title is… *drum rolls* _Consequences Of A Happy Hour_. Expect alcohol and a bit of a surprise :)


	20. Consequences Of A Happy Hour

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

When Kurogane counted the days that evening, he realized Fai had been living with Chii, Sayoran and him for nearly six months… six long months, full of fake smiles and laughter, full of hidden secrets and mock honesty.  
Fai had changed so much, even Sakura had noticed it! Not that she was stupid or anything like that, but generally she needed time to realize when people changed. In this case, she hadn't needed it.

Maybe it was just Kurogane, but these six months had seemed awfully long and tiresome. For some reason, he hadn't had a proper night's sleep since Fai had moved in, and he was still unable to figure out why, which bothered him to no end… especially since he needed to work harder than ever for his first year of College.  
That night, a chilly December night, he had been stuck to his computer again, trying to finish his homework for the next day –he wanted to teach Japanese history, and he wanted to be a good teacher. When he was finally done, around midnight, he decided it was time he removed his earphone and had a shower before he tried to get some sleep…

What he hadn't counted on was the presence of a very drunk, very cheerful and very half-naked Fai in the bathroom.

"What the…?"

Kurogane couldn't finish his sentence: Fai had already lunged forward and grabbed his neck, leaning on the younger man's broad chest.

"Hyuuuuu!" He breathed on Kurogane's clavicle, "I knew I should have eaten more soup… now Kuro-Baby's taller than me!"

"I am not Kuro-Baby!" the brunet answered, keeping his tone low, "I'm nineteen, when will you stop calling me those stupid nicknames, damnit?"

"But, Kuro-Piiiiiiii! They're so funnyyyyyyy!" Fai sing-sung.

"No, they're not! Stop it!"

"Kuro-Meaniiiiiiiiiiie!"

Fai attempted to straighten himself, but alcohol got the better of him and he tripped, causing Kurogane to fall with him. They landed with a dull thud on the white, cold floor, Fai giggling and Kurogane desperately praying he was too drunk to notice he was blushing.

"What are you doing exactly?" Kurogane finally asked, more resigned than angry.

"I'm celebrating!" Fai hiccupped. "Or at least I have been celebrating and now, I'm having fun with you!"

"I'm not your damn toy!" the younger man growled, pushing Fai aside. "Besides, it's not what I asked! What are you doing here in the U.S when you should be with your husband in Germany?"

"I told you we changed our plans! He knows it's better to start here if I want a chance of having an international carrier as a rock band member!"

"And so his great encouragements are the reason why he never phones you despite his having followed you for years when you were in an orchestra?"

Kurogane could have sworn that for one second, Fai's mask had slipped, and the blond had looked like he wanted nothing more than collapse and cry as long as he could. But then, in the blink of an eye, the inevitable plastic smile was back, and it ached even more to see it.

"Well you know, Ashura's a busy man! We communicate mainly by mail. Why, you're worried for me Kuro-Tan?"

"You wish! And get up! You're not a carpet for Christ's sake!"

Fai obediently got to his feet, but he immediately tripped and all Kurogane could do was catching him up before he hit the floor. He kept Fai close to him a bit longer than necessary, his nostrils flooded with the blonde hair's scent, almost hidden by the perfume of cigarettes and cocktails.

"So, why have you been drinking?"

"Because it was a happy hour!"

"You mean the Happy Hour of the bar?"

"Nooooooo, Kuro-Silly!" Fai answered in a slurred voice, "T'was an happy hour because we got a contract! With Tsubasa!"

"Really?"

"Yeaaaah! Yamato Ishida, who sings for The Wolves, he's an old friend of ours… (hiccup) he offered us to be their first part!"

"And that's why you're coming home completely drunk?

"Ah, but Kuro-miiiiiii! We had to celebrate!"

"Yeah, sure. Anyway, where's Chii?"

"At the bar with Yuui and Sayoran… they're still celebrating!"

"And you left them because?"

"Oh, I was just tired." Fai said, his head lower than it used to be.

"Pity you're tired right tonight."

"Yeah, I know."

Fai tried to laugh, but it came out as sort of half sob, and Kurogane sighed. He got a towel out of the closet and threw it to Fai's face, before turning to the door.

"Have a shower. You stink of cigarette… and don't you make it a habit."

"Oh, don't worry Kuro-rin, now that we're getting started with Tsubasa, I won't bother you for much longer."

"You're drunk." The brunet snapped, angry at Fai for thinking he was a nuisance. "You speak nonsense."

Once again Fai half laughed, half sobbed, and Kurogane left the bathroom without further ado.

As he walked to his bedroom, taking in the various signs of Fai's presence in the flat –white flowers on a countertop, a clean pile of plates, a leather jacket carelessly forgotten on the back of a chair- Kurogane couldn't help but wonder at the disastrous consequences of a single 'Happy' Hour.


	21. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

There had been no sign of Ashura, not one tiny piece of news. All Fai was able to tell them was that Ashura was "A bit tired but fine. He sends his love."

Of course, the blonde had come up with at least a thousand ways of putting it, and most of the family bought it, but not Kurogane.

He had seen long ago that something was wrong with Fai and Ashura. Fai was a man of word, of voice, he couldn't stand not speaking to the ones he loved, so this total absence of phone call had immediately alerted Kurogane… the repetitive tone of Fai's so-called news of Ashura only brought more water to the mill.

What achieved to prove Kurogane's point, however, was a prank Chii had decided to pull on her brother.  
Two days after New Year's Eve, when Fai had come back from shopping with a friend, she had welcomed him with an overly happy smile and a joyful look:

"Ashura called today! He wanted to wish you a very happy new year!"

For the shortest moment, Fai's face fell, and Kurogane could see all life and color flying from his face. But then, in the blink of an eye, the lie was firmly back in place, and Fai's smile was wider and brighter than ever.

"Really? Oh, that's sooooooo nice of him!"

He spent the next quarter of an hour bouncing around the place, pretending to be overexcited and the happiest man of all, but it was too late: this Time, event Chii had seen the crack in the wall.

When Kurogane felt the need to have a glass of water that night, not long before one in the morning, he realized what had prevented him from sleeping correctly for months.

Coming from Fai's room, he could hear low, heartbreaking sobs echoing on the walls.


	22. Spotlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

There were shouts and laughter, happy smiles and overexcited bouncing, all of this melting into a soft hum: the music of a crowd.

Behind the giant screens, long blonde hair dressed in high pigtails, Chii perked an eye at the crowded room. More than two hundreds persons had come to see The Wolves, and it was only beginning to get to her that _she_ would have to play in front of them, too.

"I think I'm scared shitless." She whispered to Sayoran when he came to see her. "Looks like the room's about to explode!"

"Is that a TV crew?" The brunet asked worriedly.

"Of course it is!" Yuui whispered with joyful awe, "It's The Wolves, after all… Local TV had to come by!"

"I'm not really sure I'm ready to go…" Chii whispered. "Where are Tomoyo-chan and Kuro-kun?"

"'M buvy!" Tomoyo humphed from behind, needles stuck in her mouth. "D'mn costum won't hold."

She had had difficulties fixing Fai's outfit, especially the black T-Shirt with and its intricate feather designt… and now, fifteen minutes before the show, she was still fixing the costume. Kurogane, a few meters on the left, had crossed his arms in front of his chest and remained silent, pretending not to be interested in anything. Chii bounced toward him, her short, kimono-like dress dancing around her.

"I'm so, excited!" She squealed. "Do you imagine what'll happen if they like us? We'd be off on the path to celebrity!

"Yeah, yeah, wonderful!"

"Don't worry!" Chii smiled when she caught her best friend looking toward Fai, "He won't forget you, no matter what!"

"Ch'."

Chii laughed nervously and nearly jumped when an assistant came to tell her it was about time Tsubasa got on the stage. Fai tore himself away from Tomoyo, moving smoothly, happiness flowing from him, and Kurogane could tell that, this time, it was genuine.

"Come on lads!" The blonde breathed, "It's time!"

The four members of the band breathed deeply, and Kurogane saw Fai reach toward his collar, where he touched a small, moon-shaped silver pendant.

"You… you still…"

"The paint's worn out now but…" Fai shrugged with a smile. "Wish me luck!"

"Yeah, whatever."

But even as he said that, Kurogane couldn't help but feel his heartbeat quicken incredibly, almost wishing to escape his ribcage.

There was a short silent and then, still smiling, Fai followed his band mates to the stage, a big lump in his throat. Immediately, Tomoyo hurried out of the stage, dumping her camcorder in Kurogane's hands.

"I've got to take care of your niece, so you'd better hurry out of here and get me some good recording for Yuui's first big show!"

Kurogane growled lowly, not really knowing what would have annoyed him most: to be talked to like an eleven years old child when he was twenty, or to be forced to take care of his one and a half month old niece Freya… he really didn't know how to act with children that young.

But then he was before the stage, and everyone was stunned by _Tsubasa_ 's appearance, overwhelmed by the energy flowing from the band. And suddenly, there was no hum anymore, no more soft background noise: it was all replaced by cheers and notes and tears, hands clapping and mouths whistling in a unanimous, electric cry of admiration.

And somehow, Kurogane thought as the members of Tsubasa left the stage and the applause sounded as though they would never stop, the band was already famous. All they had needed had been a few hours under the spotlights.


	23. Leftovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

" _I think I've got everything." Fai sighed, gazing at the empty bedroom. "You were the ones who bought the bed, so I'll leave it here, it's only normal."_

_He turned to Kurogane and addressed him a small smile, his head tilted on the side._

" _Well I guess it's time to say goodbye, isn't it Kuro-wan?"_

" _Yeah, good riddance."_

_There was a short silence and Fai put a hand to his collar, clutching his moon-shaped pendant._

" _Goodbye then, Kuro-kun."_

" _You always do that."_

" _Do what?"_

" _Touching that necklace. You're always doing that."_

" _Ah… that's the only bit of home I had left when I went to France, you know." Fai smiled, running a hand through his hair._

" _There was also Yuui's bracelet." The brunet answered, pointing toward the black leather band on Fai's left wrist._

" _True." Fai said, gazing through the window. "But I guess I'm unconsciously reaching for what's closer to the heart."_

**oOo**

The living room had never been as full as it was now that Fai was gone: the usual dirty clothes were back on the table and the chairs, accompanying the remains of unfinished pizzas and Chinese takeaways no one had taken time to remove. The scent was back as well: lingering around the room, softly floating its way to everyone's nose, replacing Fai's trademark strawberry perfume.

**oOo**

" _You're not seriously thinking of putting this scent here?"_

" _Why not? Strawberry's nice… don't you think so, Kuro-wan?"_

" _No I don't like it, nor do I appreciate all your other sugary shits!"_

" _Oh… you won't like your clothes scent either then." Fai had smiled. "It's vanilla."_

_Kurogane had only been able to sigh. Fai hadn't been here for a week yet, and he had already transformed the flat into something new, clean and strawberry flavored… there was so much sugar in the air, Kurogane could almost taste it._

**oOo**

One week after Fai had moved out, Kurogane found himself on the doorway, staring blankly at the total mess filling the living room. Instead of Fai's overexcited chattering, there was nothing but silence to welcome him now, and though he had yearned for peace ever since the blonde's arrival, the lack of noise felt strangely empty and lonely.

**oOo**

" _Welcome home Kuro-pyon!"_

" _Why, after twenty years of knowing me, can't you learn to call me by my proper name, you stupid bouncing ball?"_

" _Aaaaaah, but Kurogane's such a boring name!"_

_The blonde glided out of Kurogane's reach, his clear laugh filling the room._

" _What? GET YOUR SKINNY ASS BACK THERE SO I CAN KICK IT OFF YOU NOISY…!"_

_Kurogane's sentence was lost, as Fai pressed a white, meat bun-shaped stuffed toy to his face._

" _WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?"_

" _That's a gift, Kuro-Silly!"_

" _And what makes you think I want a gift from you, oh hyperactive one?"_

" _But, Kuro-Puppy, it's only so you won't forget me!"_

" _Well pity, that's about all I wish to do!"_

" _Aaaaaaw, pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!" Fai insisted with huge eyes. "Take it Kuro-doggy!"_

" _You can leave it on the table if you want." Kurogane finally huffed. "I'll take it to the trash bin later."_

**oOo**

Fai and silence simply didn't come in the same sentence.

When the blonde was around, there were always noise and cheers and laughter… Kurogane had spent all his life despising that aspect, thinking everything would be better if Fai stopped being so… invasive.

But now that the blonde was finally gone, life seemed strangely tasteless. There was nothing left over for Kurogane to feel Fai was still around. It was as though he had totally disappeared, taking with him all the little details that signaled his presence… no more granny apple-perfumed shampoo, no more strawberry air perfume or chestnut dishwashing solution… nothing but a few tissues, a bouquet of sunflowers on the countertop and a small, meat bun-ish thing with long ears tied around its body.

When Chii came home that evening, she found her best friend sitting next to the table a white bunny-like stuffed toy in his hand. His gaze was distant, absent somehow, gliding on the object without really seeing it. He had his back to the door, stiff and closed over himself.

"Is everything alright?" Chii asked softly.

"Yeah. Just been thinking."

"Ah… what were you thinking about?"

There was a long silence as Chii laid her jacket down on the back of a chair and relieved herself from the weight of her shopping.

"Leftovers."

And with that enigmatic answer, Kurogane picked up the only thing Fai had left in the home and took it to his bedroom.


	24. Thousands Of Pieces

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

"Bon sang! Je n'avais jamais vu autant de monde à un de nos concerts!" Chii sighed contentedly, resting her tired arms on her desk, her feet safely tucked under her legs. "Presque quatre cent personnes, tu te rends compte? En à peine un mois!"

"On est déjà en train de devenir célèbres!" Yuui approved, ruffling Sayoran's hair. "C'est magnifique, tu ne trouves pas Fai?" (1)

Fai's smile, brighter than the sun, didn't need any word. He hadn't been so genuinely happy since he had been back in the USA and even Kurogane, standing beside Chii, couldn't help but feel his lips curve ever so slightly in response.

"I am glad to see your career has taken such a good start."

Fai jumped around and stared toward the door. Ashura stood there, his features stretched and his face paler even than Fai's, but with a sickly air instead of Fai's ethereal appearance. He was leaning against the doorway, supporting his tired weigh on one leg only, deep purple mark underlining his dark eyes, and his breath heavier than it had once been.  
What really shocked Kurogane, though, was Ashura's hair. What he remembered as a long, shining ink-black curtain was now cut short and without shine, dull and dead-looking, almost ready to fall away.

"Hallo." The brunet said when he saw Fai wasn't answering. "Wie geht es dir?"

"Uh… fine. Thank you."

"Ich glaube, mich erinnern zu können, dass du ein Versprechen eizuhalten hast."(2)

__  
**oOo**   


_It had been five years and a half since Fai and Ashura's wedding. It had been a happy period, calm, settled, almost like a road traced before them, one that would lead only to peaceful bliss and soft laughter of joy. But then, Ashura had turned thirty, and he had decided it was time for a medical check-up._

" _You're in perfect shape!" Fai had laughed. "What do you expect they'll find? A flu?"_

" _I'd feel better if I did it."_

" _Okay, okay… do you want me to come with you?"_

" _Ah ah, thank you but it's not necessary. It's just a bunch of exams after all, it's not really_ that _important. You can go to work, I'll really need you when I'll get the results."_

_And, true to his word, Ashura had insisted for Fai to come with him when the doctor called him so they could… what had been the words again? Oh, yeah, "discuss his analysis"._

_The office had looked exactly what Fai would have expected. Large, filled with fine decoration, expansive furniture and prestigious certificates fixed to the walls. It had been a sunny afternoon, warm, with honey-like light… a perfect autumn day._

_Doctor Cho Hakkai had been very polite, serious but not stern, sympathetic, but not familiar… the kind of doctor everyone wishes to be able to call "his". He had invited the two men to sit down and, very carefully, he had begun to explain what the figures given to Ashura meant, whether they were promising or not… and that was when things had gone wrong._

" _You see, as much as I regret it, there is something wrong with those figures."_

" _What is it?" Fai had asked as Ashura's fingers entwined with his own. "Nothing too bad, I hope?"_

" _Well… unfortunately, yes, it is bad."_

" _How bad?"_

" _Mr. Celes… your result show you have a cancer… and I am afraid it is already quite advanced."_

 _Some other things were said after that… discussion about what ought to be done, what_ could _be done. Trivial matters and important things had blurred together in a sort of strange, dull mix, as though Fai had been totally disconnected from what happened. He remembered almost nothing from this day: nothing but Ashura's death grip on his hand and the soft voice of Doctor Cho._

__  
**oOo**   


" _I don't think I'll make it." Ashura had stated when they had been home._

" _Don't be stupid!" Fai had snapped, harsher than he had meant to be. "You'll fight, and you'll win!"_

" _Fai, you heard him as well as I did. I'm dangerously close to terminal phase. They'll only try the treatments out of stubbornness."_

_Fai had averted his husband's clear and lucid gaze, seeking some sort of comfort in the sight of a bouquet of lilies, Ashura's favorite flowers. Somehow, the light hadn't been the same anymore at that moment: pale and cold, winter-like, flattening everything, smoothing life away.  
The blonde's neck had been stiff, his pale fingers trembling on the countertop as he asked with a shaky voice:_

" _What do you suggest we do then? Wait until you're dead?"_

" _I want you to help me to die."_

_Cliché as it may sound, some silences are deafening… this one had been. Nothing had changed, but everything had been different after that, fragile and vain, shattering under the lightest touch, vanishing into nothingness quicker than anyone could have imagined._

" _You can't be serious." Fai had whispered. "You can't."_

" _Yes, I am." And Ashura had looked so resolved, there had been no point in questioning his decision. "I don't wan't you to see me fall apart and break down, forced to take care of me month after month as I am destroyed from the inside. I have seen my grandmother die this way, and I don't want you to go through this."_

" _So you're asking me to kill you instead?"_

_There had been no anger in Fai's voice, nothing but pain and emptiness, as though somehow, Ashura was already dead. As though he had already accepted what he had to do._

" _I only want you to be there for me at the end of all things, that's all."_

" _Do you even realize how cruel you are?"_

" _Please."_

" _I can't do that!" Fai pleaded. "You're my husband! I love you, how could I do that? How could I kill you?"_

" _I'm not asking you to kill me. I'm asking you to hold my hand while I'll die."_

" _That'll feel exactly the same."_

" _Please."_

" _I can't do that."_

" _Please."_

" _Ashura, I…"_

" _Please…"_

_Fai had slept on the couch that night._

__  
**oOo**   


_Six months had passed without any of them mentioning the topic._

_Then, Ashura had come home very late one night, drunk, his face covered with tears, but looking determined. Fai had instantly known… and he had known Ashura knew that he knew. He had felt his heart freeze, his blood fly from his face and hands as the terrible words were uttered:_

" _It's not working."_

_When he had woken up on the next morning, Fai's place in the bed had been empty, his head replaced by a short note on the pillow._

" _I don't resent you. I just can't do it."_

**oOo**

One year later, as Ashura looked at him with his eyes so loving and peaceful, Fai knew he had never really wanted to refuse and, ever since the first time Ashura had asked him to help him die, he had known he would be there…

Because he loved Ashura, and he couldn't stand to let him die alone, even if it meant for himself to break into thousands of pieces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)"My God! There's never been so many people at one of our concert!" … "Almost four hundred people, in a bare month… do you realise?"
> 
> "We're becoming famous!" … "It's wonderful, don't you think so Fai?"
> 
> (2)"Hello." … "How are you?"
> 
> […]
> 
> "I seem to recall that you have a promise to keep."
> 
>  **Ages of Characters:** (Because sometimes I can't get them into the actual chapter) Ashura: 34 (31 ½ during the Flashback). Fai: 30 (27 ½ during the Flashback) Kurogane: 20.


	25. White Lilies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

There was a lonely sob among the assembly, Himawari's small voice echoing through the church. Fai's face was blank, his knuckles whites from clutching at his own trousers, his eyes red-rimmed with tears and exhaustion. He stared ahead of the building, barely acknowledging the few words addressed by Ashura's ex-associates… why should he care? They were presenting their respects to half of Ashura's fortune, not to his husband.

But then, the priest came to his place and everyone fell silent as he began to read:

"Death is nothing…"

__  
**oOo**   


" _Do you remember that poem?" Ashura smiled. "Death is nothing… I have only passed to the other side… I don't remember the end." (1)_

_Fai shook his shoulders, his throat too tight to produce any answer._

" _I'll miss you so much." He whispered, voice raw with emotion. "So_ very _much…."_

" _Thank you."_

_Ashura walked up to Fai and embraced him, burying his face in his neck._

" _Thank you… for everything."_

__  
**oOo**   


_Some things can sound impossible for years, until you find yourself doing them._

_Fai had always thought he would shatter before the end and faint without being able to really accompany Ashura during his last moments… In the end, though, he managed to remain conscious the whole time, his eyes never leaving Ashura's peaceful face.  
Of course, he didn't like being there, of course it was painful, oh _ so _painful, but then again, what would have been unbearable would have been to remain away from him… because sometimes, the right thing to do happens to be the hardest one as well._

_And so Fai found himself sitting at Ashura's bedside, holding his hand as his breath slowed down, his chest barely heaving now, his eyes closing themselves, never to open again._

_No word was uttered, because none could be enough… what were words, after all, when someone was dying? There was no comfort possible at this moment, other than knowing it was their choice… to die, to be here for the one who was dying… both action were expressions of love and respect, something deep and permanent Fai shared with Ashura… something painful, yes, but comforting as well, in its own, strange way._

" _Ich liebe dich."_

" _I love you, too." Fai whispered._

_A soft breeze caressed the white lilies of Ashura's bedside table and, with a sigh, he finally fell asleep, knowing he wouldn't wake up._

**oOo**

Silent as a shadow, Kurogane made his way to the center of the room and joined him on the bed.  
He sat there wordlessly for a long time, staring ahead, the small meat bun-shaped toy clutched in his hand. From the living room, they heard Yuui's piano playing a slow, melancholic tune, soon joined by Sakura's cristal voice. She was singing a song of pain and sorrow… a song of hope, also, but what hope could there be in such moment, for someone so prone to depression? Kurogane feared there was none.

"I never told him." Fai sniffed, more to himself than anyone else, probably not even aware that he was speaking aloud. "I never told him I was actually Yuui."

Wordlessly, Kurogane laced an arm around the blonde's shoulders and brought him close to his chest, his head resting in the crook of his neck.

White lilies fell from Fai's lap and, as they touched the ground, something wet rolled down Kurogane's collarbone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) "La Mort n'est rien. Je suis simplement passé de l'autre côté. "
> 
> Actually, this was not exactly from a poem, not in the traditional meaning of the word.
> 
> When I was in my 2nd year of High School, a boy from my town died at the bus stop, and the Headmaster read that text during a ceremony held a few days later. He didn't read the very first sentence, though, thinking we weren't ready to hear it… I think he was right.
> 
> I'm not even certain it was really a poem but… it seems to me that it would be the kind of things Ashura would tell to Fai to try and help him.


	26. Blue Socks, Daffodils And Broad Shoulder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

Painful as it was to lose someone loved, the world had to keep turning… and so, life managed to go on.

Fai, Chii, Yuui and Sayoran faced something they had not planned: success. Of course, they had hoped that things would go well for the band, but never had they dared to dream it would come so quickly.  
Still, in the year that had followed Ashura's death, _Tsubasa_ had known a surprisingly sudden rising of their success. Soon, they had reached the fifth place of the Hit Parade, and they were still gaining success… Their label was even thinking of taking them into the international market! Things couldn't be better for the band, that at least was sure.

What was unsure, in Fai's opinion, was to know how he should react to that Motosuwa boy. Chii had met him in a bar three month before and she had soon confessed she would like to date him… thing was, though he seemed to be a fine boy, Fai wasn't certain he was ready to 'lose' his sister just yet.

He had had to let go of so many things already….  
There had been Ashura, of course, with all the happiness and love and safety he meant.  
There had been his privacy –even though it was only partial, and even though it was a normal consequence of being famous, it wasn't something easy to accept, especially for someone like him.  
There had been Yuui, in some egoistic way: now that he was a father and ready to welcome his second child, his twin logically spent much more time at his house with his wife and daughter than running from a bar to another with his brother… which was only normal but, still, it felt a bit lonely sometimes.  
There had been his life at the flat, too. Of course, that had been a while ago –even before Ashura died- but he still missed coming home and have someone to welcome him, even if it was often a grumpy-sounding Kurogane –actually, the grumpier he was, the easier it was t have fun with him. And besides, Kurogane had always been here when he needed –and wanted- to speak to someone, and though he knew it was a bit egoistic, Fai missed that as well. Plus, it was always refreshing to live with people ten years younger than you were: they gave you enough energy to keep moving, having fun, enjoying what you did….

And that lead to the biggest loss of all: Fai's taste for life.  
Oh, he wasn't thinking about suicide –never had, never would, no matter how hard it could get… he had experienced what it felt when you were left behind, he didn't want to inflict that to his family. Still, even if he hadn't come to this state of mind, Fai definitely felt he had lost the will of going on.

Sure enough, Tsubasa's career was promising, and playing still felt very good… but not as much as what it had used to. Everyone around him tried their best to help him have fun, go out, meet new friends –perhaps they even tried to find him someone to date- they had even resorted to inviting Lineos, Trisha and Jérémy for a week, but it hadn't changed a thing.

"What do you want then?" Lineos had screamed one night, tired of hearing Fai refuse every single proposition he made. "You don't want to go out, but you don't want to stay at home either, you don't want to watch a movie but you don't want to play a game… shit man, what's wrong with you?"

"I swear if knew I'd tell you what's wrong, Line." Fai sighed heavily. "It's just that… I don't know. Something's gone."

"Don't start that."

"What?"

"This train of thought. My mother told me that once, and next thing I knew, she threw herself from a cliff."

Fai sighed again, gesturing that this ending would never be his. Still, he couldn't help feel… bored. No, not really bored. What he felt wasn't really boredom, rather a strange sort of melancholy that sucked every little bit of will and energy he had. It felt as though he only went on living because other people were concerned. Were it only for him, he would probably be spending his days lying on his couch and thinking about all and nothing but please, please let it not be something complicated.  
Thing was, Fai didn't know how to change that.

"Start drawing. Buy a dog, help and association, go abroad, I don't know but do _something_!" Lineos finally cried. "Don't stay here like a… a snail!"

"The last time I went abroad, I ended up meeting Ashura." Fai said, his throat suddenly tight.

"Then cry."

"What?"

"Cry." Lineos repeated. "I don't think you actually cried _after_ he died. You won't get over his death unless you cry over him first."

The blonde Australian sighed and got up, walking toward the door while securing his large leather jacket around him.

"Thing is, I already tried." Fai whispered.

But he had failed. Ever since Ashura's death, from the very second his last breath had vanished away, Fai's tears had been gone. No droplet of water had fallen from his eyes for a year: neither sad nor happy, not even tired tears. Actually, he hadn't felt anything. Frustration, joy, ecstasy, lust, fear, stress, despair, sadness, sleepiness… all that had vanished, leaving nothing but empty and frustrating melancholy.  
Now, even walking in a room –his room- filled with gifts and flowers from fans couldn't make him smile.  
Now, the house was always silent, even when someone came to see him, because the building was so filled with Fai's nothingness that no one dared to speak too loud.

Now, whatever happened, Fai felt as though he only knew how to shrug, and every other gesture had been forgotten.

Even his fake, plastic smiles were back and, though magazines, fans and cameras loved it, Fai really didn't like that they were back when he had thought to have gotten rid of them.

**oOo**

"Wonderful Sunshine! Tilt your head a bit more… Perfect!"

There was a beeping sound and Mimi Tachikawa let her assistant take care of her camera.

"Out of memory." She sighed, grabbing a bottle of water.

"Why don't you get a bigger memory card?"

"Ah, but I _have_ one, Darling!" The photograph smiled. "Actually, I've got a lot of them… it's just that if I used them with you, you'd never see sunlight ever again!"

"Do you like me so much, Mimi-chan?"

"Yes indeed! In fact, you're lucky to be the male you know, Sweetheart. Otherwise I'd have raped you by now!"

"I'm lucky indeed!" Fai managed to laugh.

"Well, now it's time for you to go home. No! No, I know it's hard, but really you have to, otherwise I'll never be able to get those wonderful photos of you out of my camera. Now go."

"Yes ma'am!" Fai saluted.

"Oh, and Fai!" she called, "Would you please gain some weigh? You're so skinny if you show your profile and poke your tongue out your shadow could pass for a zipper."

"Nice image." Fai chuckled. "I promise I'll try to eat more."

"You're a doll!"

Mimi Tachikawa was a beautiful and cheery girl with pink hair and large brown eyes. She liked to dress in an elegant cowboy-like style, with white Stetsons and high heeled leather boots. Her high pitched voice, her strong manner, her natural grace and her good looks had first made her a mannequin… however, she had been deeply shocked by -how did she put it?- "The 'Bitchiness' of that world of lying hypocrites", and she had chosen to become a photograph. She had struggled at first, until Yamato Ishida, apparently an old friend of hers, had asked her to become _The Wolves_ ' official photographer.  
From then, the sheer genius of her photos had been praised everywhere by everyone, and _Tsubasa_ had only been able to get her because Fai and Yamato were still in contact -and also because she couldn't help… er… "Fangirling" as she said, over Fai. Which was ridiculous, but nevermind.

Anyway, working with Mimi –Meems, as her friends called her- had always been agreeable. She was talkative enough to make you forget the camera, and her continuous employ of sweet words made Fai feel at ease with her. However, working with Mimi had recently become particularly tiresome.  
When Fei Wong had spent two years harassing Fai –though indirectly- the blonde had learned to give his face a smiling appearance in every circumstances… that had been exhausting enough, more efficient than any kind of sport, and Fai had honestly thought it had to be the most tiring activity _ever_.

But then he had lost Ashura, and it had forced him to start pretending again… only this time it was worse, because he had to smile for the camera –meaning with his whole body instead of just his face- and, this time, the problem –the lack of happiness- couldn't be blamed on anyone or anything. That was the way he was, end of story.

Too bad the story was so frustrating.

**oOo**

"Parfois," he confessed to Trisha when she phoned him as he left Mimi's studio, "J'ai l'impression que je suis sur le point d'exploser… Parfois c'est tellement horrible que j'ai envie de dévaster la pièce…"

"Si tu en as seulement _envie_ c'est que ce n'est pas aussi terrible que ça pourrait l'être."(1)

The lies had come back, too. Fai didn't only feel like destroying the room, he _actually_ destroyed it, leaving nothing but ruins and emptiness around and inside him, knowing that he would have to clean sooner or later, but without succeeding in actually doing anything.

**oOo**

It was after one of these fit that Kurogane stopped by, on a sunny Monday afternoon.

The flat was an apocalyptic sight, with crashed vases all around the place, water and smashed daffodils scattering every room's floor. There were broken plates, and some remains of glasses that looked as though someone had thrown them against the walls in an access of rage.  
There was a cell phone, too, or rather what was left of it, lying next to the kitchen door, its components spread around it, like small pieces of an animated corpse.

Kurogane carefully made his way to Fai's bedroom, trying not to add to the mess –and really, 'mess' was the biggest understatement ever.

He found the blond man lying on his bed, his shoes still on, his face buried in the pillow.

"Poor flowers really didn't deserve that."

"'Mallergict'daffodils." Was the muffled and automatic reply.

"You're allergic to cell phones, too? Yours is spread all over the floor."

"Leammealone." Fai sighed, still not taking his head off of the pillow.

"You honestly think I'm going to leave you in such a state? Yuui would torture me to no end, even if it took him away from Tomoyo and the kids for years."

There was a muffled sound, and Kurogane sat on the bed, next to Fai's still form, his hand resting on the blonde's back, not because he felt like it but because something told him Fai needed the touch.

"Now, seriously, what's wrong?"

Fai finally hoisted himself up and sat cross-legged beside Kurogane, his blonde bangs hiding his face. He sighed deeply, hands clutching his jeans so tightly his knuckles were white.

"Takeru and Daisuke are born." He said shakily. "Freya's little brothers."

"And you replayed World War Two in your living room because you were happy?"

"The daffodils made me sneeze."

"Oh, for god's sake…"

"I wasn't."

"What?"

"I. Was. Not. Happy." Fai said angrily. "My brother told me I was an uncle again, and I was fucking _not happy_ _ **at all!**_ "

There was a tense silence as Fai attempted to calm down, his breath coming in irregular, ragging sounds.

"I don't know why… I mean I should be jumping all around the room like the sugar-high moron you think I am… but all I can do is take my frustration out on anything I have at hand! _Shit_ , what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing."

Kurogane really hadn't expected to be slapped in the face when he had said that.

"You've seen the flat, it looks like Hiroshima, _it's been like this for months,_ _ **I've never felt that stupidly empty before, DON'T TRY TO TELL ME NOTHING. IS. WRONG. WITH ME!"**_

Fai's sentence was punctuated with punches as he hit Kurogane's chest. He didn't know why he did that, since he knew he'd only feel worse afterward, but somehow he needed to do it, he couldn't stop, no matter how stupid and unjust it was for the younger man.

And then, suddenly, Kurogane's arms were around his shoulders, pressing Fai to the brunet's chest. The blonde breathed in the familiar scent and laced his own arms around the younger man's waist, burying his face in his neck.

He cried himself to sleep that night, without knowing if the tears came from the daffodils, the joy of having a nephew, or simply the fact that Ashura was dead and he was only crying for that now.

All he knew was that, when he awakened up next morning, Kurogane was still sitting on his bed, his broad shoulder kindly supporting Fai's painful head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1) "Sometimes," he confessed to Trisha when she phoned him as he left Mimi's studio, "I feel like I'm about to explode... sometimes it's so horrible I feel like destroying the whole room."
> 
> "If you only _feel like_ destroying it, then it's not as bad as it could be."
> 
>  **A/N2:** Okay, just because I couldn't get it to fit into the chapter and it might be useful: Fai is 31, and Kuro's 21^^ I'll let you figure out the other characters' ages on your own ^^


	27. The First Of Many

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

**Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

 **A/N:** Woop! Things are finally moving up between Kuro and Fai! And we're nearing the end: after this chapter there will only be six more, plus the epilogue! I'm currently writing chapter 29, and it gives me mixed emotion: I'm happy to finish _AVLLC_ (for it's my biggest Fanfiction project ever) and yet a bit sad to know that I will soon part with this story ^^'

 **Quick word to the reviewer:**

 _Amaya-chanXTobi:_ Thank you! Here is the update :)

 _RemiRobin:_ Aw, please don't be sorry… at least, _I_ am glad you liked the chapter^^

 _Yochikochan:_ That's right, it's about time he got over Ashura's death :)

 _Ezi:_ Héhéhé, j'suis contente qu'il te plaise^^ C'est bien, tu as progressé depuis la première fois que je t'ai fait « lire » du KuroFai à l'atelier d'écriture (là, ça ne t'avais pas plus, et pourtant c'était léger xP) Et puis, je trouve que le manga n'exploite pas le plein potentiel émotionnel de Kuro-Chou^^ Bisous à toi aussi la miss, et bonne année !

 _Kayla-chan1990_ : Ah, things are finally changing a bit between those two^^ Anyway, I'm glad you liked the chapter! And yes, Kuro-Tan rules!

 _Tuliharja:_ Ah, don't worry I don't resent you for that… it's good to see you back though, I missed your reviews ^^ And I'm glad you like the last chapters better, because I do like them better than the previous ones x) I think I'm getting over my "Ashura Block" somehow ^^  
And it's good you won't accept just anything^^ It's better when readers don't accept anything the writer does, it makes things more interesting and it helps to improve^^  
Ahah, I didn't know Sweden was lnown as "Gay-Land" but from the way they seem to so open-minded it's not that surprising lol  
Ah well, by rich I meant countries from the "North" (economically speaking) though some of them are not really rich. As for your country, I didn't recognize the flag on your profile, so I couldn't say^^' But don't worry if you meet someone with a big family, you'll get used to it, it's not that difficult :)  
Ah, I think it's normal to answer to the reviews I get, first of all because readers took time to read my work so it's a way to thank them and besides, Reviews are often a good way to progress, when people point out what's wrong in my writing.  
Ah, yes I must admit CCS is really a classic "Magical Girl" manga, it's more destined to girls around 11 or 12… I found it fun to read, bu mostly because the Anime was one of those I loved to watch when I was younger^^  
At any rate, I'll _try_ to do that^^' It depends if it fits in my planned chapters or not :)  
No, that doesn't make you a bad reader! It's just sometimes you can tell something's off, but you can't quite place your finger on it :)  
Ah, you like the sound of German? I must admit I find more… er, funny, rather than romantic^^' And I'm glad I managed to touch you, even though you didn't cry^^ if you nearly cried, then it's good^^  
Ah, the blue socks were only a reference to Fai's new nephews, they weren't "physically" present in the chapter… That's because "Daffodils & Broad Shoulder" didn't sound so good in my mind x) As to why Daffodils, that's because to me they're associated to spring, sun and light-heartedness, that is to say the "real" and cheerful Fai… the fact that he would crush it seemed to fit with his state of mind (depressed, and frustrated about that) because it was like crushing the false image he send to the world :)  
Ah, yeah, Mimi's just like that :) I don't think there will be much more of her in the upcoming chapters though, don't worry^^  
Ah yeah, I know this state of mind too, so I didn't want to make it sound too angsty: it wouldn't have been as realistic and "real" sounding.  
Ah, well, I can't force you to read a Fanfic you're not attracted to :)

 _Thanks a lot_ to all of you, anonymous readers and people who added this story on their favorite and/or alert list, even without leaving a review!

 **27 The First Of Many**

" _Kuro-Wanwan? What are you doing here?"_

" _Just making sure you're not destroying what I fixed up yesterday. There's a limit to how weird a star can get before losing their fans."_

 _Fai stepped aside so as to let Kurogane gain the kitchen more easily. The brunet laid his groceries down on the table and opened the fridge, a low growl escaping his lips._

" _Seriously, since when haven't you eaten? That thing's not a fridge, it's a black hole!"_

" _I'm… not very hungry these days."_

" _Well you'd better make a little effort, 'cause if you don't I swear I'll suffocate you with the takyakis."_

" _Kuro-Tan are you… going to cook? For me?"_

" _No, I'm going to dance a ballet for the French president. Of course, you mor… what the_ hell _are you crying for?"_

" _I'm sorry!" Fai sniffed, using his sleeves to wipe his eyes, a weak smile on his lips. "But Kuro-Pii's so nice!"_

" _Yeah, well, don't you think you're going to sit and watch while I'm working!"_

 _  
**oOo**   
_

_Kurogane had indeed cooked. Or at least, he had tried to, until for some unknown reason the meal had started to burn, and they had ended up ordering Chinese takeout food, which they had eaten on the balcony despite the chilly air of that April night._

 **oOo**

Kurogane had come back the next morning.

And the next.

And the next.

After a week, Fai had wanted to ask him if he was tired of spending most of his free time with him… maybe he'd have liked to stay at his own place for the weekend?  
The question had died on his lips when Kurogane had popped at his door after his Wednesday night concert, a bag on his shoulder and his toothbrush in hand.

 _That_ had been surprising enough, and Fai didn't think he'd get used to the idea of Kurogane spending so much time at his place anytime soon.

 **oOo**

" _Kuro-Puu, are you certain you want to sleep in the living room? It's going to be awfully hot in there… you'd better come here and get fresh air."_

" _No."_

" _But Kuro-Stubborn, it'll be a lot more comfortable in the bedroom."_

" _It_ would _be, if it weren't yours. Knowing you, you'll end up on top of me or something!"_

" _Ooooooooooh, I see!" Fai exclaimed in mock understanding. "Don't worry Kuro-Woof, I swear your virtue will remain unharmed!"_

" _Wait, what? I wasn't thinking about that, you nut!"_

 _Fai giggled and playfully stuck his tongue out at his friend. Said friend was about to smash his head into the wall when Fai's new cell phone rang and the blonde instantly leaped out of Kurogane's reach._

" _Fai Flowright… oh, Mimi! Yeah, nice to hear you too… No, not at all, I was just having fun with a friend of mine." Fai gasped and pretended to be pained, all the while winking toward Kurogane. "Aouch! Not that hard, Kuro-Manly!"_

 _Fai could practically see Mimi eyes spark with that fangirl gene of hers as he ran away from a very red Kurogane who chased him with one of the couch's cushion._

" _Yeeeees, everything's fine! But Kuro-Peachy tends to be a bit rough when it comes to having fun, you know!"_

" _Stop that immediately!"_

" _Stop what, Kuro-Raw?" Fai giggled. "You're the active one, you know, I'm just being passive!"_

 _Mimi laughed so hard she was snorting. As for Kurogane, the more time passed, the redder he got, practically steaming with anger and self-consciousness._

" _Now, Mimi, what did you want exactly?... Oh, yes of course!" Kurogane managed to hit him in the back with the cushion, and Fai pretended to gasp again. "Ow! But I'm not sure I'll be able to stand up straight, you know!"_

" _YOU STUPID BLONDE MONKEY! STOP HINTING AT THINGS THAT DON'T EVEN EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE!"_

" _But I'm not making any hint, Kuro-Chuu!_ You _are the one misunderstanding things! ... What? ... Oh, yes of course Mimi-Chan! See you tomorrow!"_

 _Fai closed his phone and dropped it on the couch, before running to his room, where he was welcomed by a gush of fresh air. That was when Kurogane finally caught up with him and tackled him down, causing them to fall on the bed, Fai pinned between Kurogane and the mattress._

" _Now, who's the one having misplaced thoughts Kuro-Pyon?"_

 _Kurogane suddenly got four shades darker and jumped from the bed, heading straight back for the living room._

 **oOo**

When he thought back about it, Fai deemed himself lucky that Kurogane had fled away too fast to see him blush.

What had he thought anyway, flirting so shamelessly with his sister-in-law's little brother! Kurogane was ten years younger than himself after all!

Still, despite the difference between them, despite the time that set them apart, Fai couldn't help but appreciate Kurogane's presence by his side. It felt different from anything the blonde had known. Since Kurogane had decided to visit him every day, Fai had felt somehow renewed. Not as though he had been granted a new life, to say that would have been a lie. No, it was more like Fai's life –or rather his taste for life- had been broken and, somehow, Kurogane's presence helped fixing it.

Even though, sometimes, it led to some awkward situations.

 **oOo**

 _Fai was positively exhausted._

 _After_ Tsubasa _'s concert, the night before, he had gone back home to find Kurogane waiting for him on the couch. Of course, he had been pleased, though a bit surprised: Kurogane was supposed to know all the band's performances' dates and Fai hadn't expected to find him when he got home. It was, after all, way past midnight, and anyone sensible would have gone off to sleep… But not Kurogane.  
In fact, Kurogane had looked so grumpy, sitting alone on the couch, Fai hadn't been able to resist the urge of teasing him… which had resulted in Kurogane's running after him until six in the morning._

 _And now, three hours later, Fai was nearly falling asleep in his seat while a make-up artist prepared him for a new photo shoot with Mimi._

" _My God, Fai! You look absolutely terrible! What happened?"_

" _Oh, Kuro-Puu and I had a busy night!" The blonde smiled._

" _Oh shut up, you hypocrite!" Kurogane growled from the door, redder than a tomato._

" _Hypocrite? Why should I be a hypocrite, Kuro-Myuu?"_

" _Because," Kurogane answered, struggling to keep his voice even, "you were the one who asked for it!"_

 _Mimi squealed happily and Fai nearly fell off his chair._

 **oOo**

"SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" Fai cried as he crashed down on the couch, burying his face in the cushions. "She's going to kill me! I can see the Headlines: camera murder at the studio!"

Kurogane growled and headed for the kitchen, soon calling for Fai:

"Pastas for tonight?"

"Nah, too hot! Gimme fruits, ice cream and fresh milk."

Kurogane mumbled something about Fai being sugar-addicted, and the blonde ignored him happily. He opened the window, welcoming the fresh air that caressed his face. It was the beginning of June, and the weather was suffocating.

The blonde stood there a moment, gazing absent-mindedly at the city's lights, enjoying the fact that he was simply… serene. He didn't know wether 'happiness' was a word he could apply to his state of mind or not, but he was sure he hadn't felt that good since Ashura's burial… and he liked that.

" _I only wish I had a fresh drink he thought."_

And just like that, Kurogane appeared with a chilled cherry flavored drink, and Fai smiled. Hadn't he always been like that? Ever since that first time, Kurogane had always been here for him.

Whenever Fai had needed someone, Kurogane had been right by his side, even before he realized he needed him.  
Whenever Fai had been sad, Kurogane had given him some occasion to pick up on him.  
Whenever Fai had needed to listen to himself, Kurogane had been here to grunt at him.  
Whenever Fai had needed guidance, Kurogane had been here to help him see things more clearly, even though he had never told him what to do.

Wasn't it just natural, then, that he stood right by Fai's side when the blonde finally began to feel that he could be happy again?  
Yes, he _would_ be happy again. That was certain, as least, and it made Fai feel so good to know that, he couldn't help but shoot a smile a Kurogane, brighter than the sun. He turned to his younger friend, bumping into his chest.

And then, suddenly, they were but millimeters apart, eyes locked, and Fai felt his heart race faster than he had raced when he had first kissed Ashura, faster even than when he had first made love with Touya. There was a long silence, as Kurogane's hand slowly reached for Fai's cheek, and then the blonde sighed.

"What?" the other man asked softly, low voice caressing Fai's ears.

"You're only twenty one… you're handsome and generous and intelligent, and you could have anyone you wanted… why would you go for someone ten years older than you are?"

"Because I want _you,_ you moron. Did you really think I came here every fucking day for three months out of pure charity?"

Fai closed his eyes and smiled, a big, happy lump forming in his throat as Kurogane's lips softly kissed his, hoping that this kiss was only the first of many.

End of _The First Of Many_

* * *

 **Next Chapter:** _What If-s_ … And considering what happens in this chapter, I think you might guess what chapter 28 deals with on your own^^


	28. What Ifs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

" _Good morning, Kuro-Chan." The voice was low, tired, almost grumpy._

" _I suppose you know Chii's moving out, then."_

_Fai grunted and stepped aside, allowing Kurogane in, his frown slightly decreasing. He walked up to the kitchen, still frowning, and poured himself a cup of coffee, his eyes never meeting Kurogane's._

" _Shouldn't you be happy for her?" the brunet asked._

" _I don't know that boy, and neither does Yuui. I don't like that."_

" _Oh, come on, she's been dating him for months. And besides she's twenty one and a half, she can decide what's good for her!"_

" _Everyone can make mistakes."_

" _But she could also be right."_

" _I won't rejoice about that until I'm sure he's as fine a guy as he looks."_

" _Ever heard of little sister complex?"_

" _Tsukihiro Yukito, get out of that body!"_

_Kurogane sighed and rolled his eyes, before grabbing Fai by the waist and pressing him to his chest, his chin resting in the middle of the shorter man's blonde hair._

" _Special occasion, Kuro-Tan?"_

" _She'll be fine. Do you think I'd let her go if I thought she wasn't in good hands?"_

" _Obviously" Fai sighed, "you never seriously dated any girl, Kuro-Puu, or you would know by now that the big brother's test is harder than the best friend's one!"_

" _Hey, I_ did _date before you, you stupid!"_

_Fai softly sighed at that, smiling as he had done so long ago, when Kurogane failed to understand something simple._

" _I know you did, Kuro-Handsome." He grinned at Kurogane's neck. "Just, not_ so seriously _as to get big brothers to be_ really _concerned about their sisters' well being."_

" _And how serious would that need to be then?"_

" _Hm… About half as serious as Sayoran is with Sakura, I suppose."_

" _I suppose that explains Touya's behavior toward him then." Kurogane sighed. "Speaking of which…"_

" _Let me guess, he's moving out as well?"_

" _Yeah. Not with Sakura, though. He's found something closer to your studio, that's all."_

" _Well," Fai sighed heavily, "I suppose I should be glad he's that involved into the band. I'm a bit worried for Sakura-Chan though, I don't know how she'll take it."_

" _Oh, she's got her friends. Besides the brat's not going to let go of her that easily."_

" _The brat's your age." Fai remarked._

" _Yeah, whatever." Kurogane shrugged._

_Fai detached himself from Kurogane and dived into the fridge, looking for something to cook –he hadn't had time to go shopping in ages._

" _The fridge's a real desert… wanna order something?"_

" _What about restaurant?"_

_Fai swore as his head hit the fridge's shelf._

**oOo**

He had agreed, though. Kurogane had wanted to take him to an Italian restaurant, not too far away from Fai's place. The blonde, however, had insisted they went somewhere less crowded, somewhere they wouldn't be so easily recognizable.

In the end, they had opted for a French restaurant farther away from the city's heart, a small place Kurogane had discovered while walking home from one of his many Ninjutsu trainings. They had taken a two seat table, in the back of the room, far from the window where people could have seen them.  
Fai had felt guilty for wanting to hide... but really, he absolutely didn't want anyone who knew him to recognise him. He simply wasn't ready just yet.

**oOo**

" _Oh, come on! Stop looking around like a hunted animal, you stupid!" Kurogane rolled his eyes. "Why can't you just try and enjoy the day?"_

" _Oh, but I do enjoy it, Kuro-Mio!" But the smile was a bit too stretched to look genuine and Kurogane grunted. "I really do! It's just... I'm not ready to let everyone know just yet."_

" _Why?"_

" _You're asking me why, Kuro-Tan? I thought it'd be obvious, especially for you!"_

" _Fai..."_

" _You're ten years younger than I am, my best friend and sister-in-law's little brother, and my adoptive parent's son... dating you is almost like dating my own little brother in people's eyes!"_

" _Sod people's opinion!" Kurogane growled. "I don't care."_

" _Ah, but Kuro-Mii! I'm not worried about_ people _'s opinion, I'm worried about what our_ family _will think!"_

**oOo**

Of course, Kurogane had grunted. A lot. But how could Fai help it? It was already frightening in itself to be dating Kurogane... just the thought of their family learning of that without being carefully prepared to hear it made his heart pound.

"If only that could be the only thing frightening right now." Fai sighed inwardly.

**oOo**

" _That was simply delicious." Fai sighed contentedly, outstretching his arms over his head. "I'll never tire of bouillabaisse."_

" _Bless you."_

" _Silly Kuro-Meow." Fai chuckled. "You'll never get used to French names, will you?"_

" _Especially not that one."_

_The blonde smiled and grabbed Kurogane's arm, slowing his pace._

" _I don't really want to go home now. Isn't there a movie you'd like to see?"_

" _Not really, no."_

_Fai pouted exaggeratedly, his blonde bangs brushing his face, his eyes downcast. Kurogane sighed._

" _Suppose we could pass by the cinema."_

" _Yeah!"_

_Fai shot forward, Kurogane's hand still imprisoned in his own, happily giggling in the cold air of September. It was not long before they reached the cinema and its enormous posters._

" _What abouuuuuuuut..." Fai mused, a finger taping on his lower lip, "Hum... That one?"_

_He pointed to a giant photo of a young couple who was very busy tasting each other's mouth. Kurogane made a face, and Fai shook his head._

" _Okay, not that one." He sighed dramatically, "Too much romance might damage your brain permanently."_

_Fai dodged Kurogane's hand and resumed his gazing over the posters. After a few minute's silence, he turned back to Kurogane and smiled:_

" _What about that one?"_

" _It's a freaking Disney."_

" _You'll just have to pretend I dragged you there by force, Kuro-Wanko!"_

" _That's not pretending, that's telling the truth."_

" _All the better then! Come on!"_

__  
**oOo**   


" _You really are embarrassing me."_

" _Aaaaaaaaw, but Kuro-Chuu, that was so saad!"_

" _You're thirty-one and a half, for God's sake! You_ knew _what would happen in the end!"_

" _Well, that doesn't make it any happier! Why did that boy have to lose the person closest to him? That's unfair!"_

" _He'll get over it!" Kurogane growled irritably._

" _What do you know about that?" Fai whispered. "You're not a twin. You're not like that boy. You've never lost everything that matters." He finished in an even lower voice._

_The brunet stopped abruptly in the middle of the pavement, eyes wide in realisation._

" _Oh for fuck's sake." He mumbled. "Why can't you just speak to me?"_

" _Said anything, Kuro-Tan?"_

" _I said, why can't you just fucking_ speak _to me?" Kurogane barked. "How am I supposed to know what's going on it that brain of yours if you never,_ ever _tell me anything about it? Are you really planning to become as dumb as you're pretending to be?"_

 _A frustrated growl escaped Kurogane's lips and he huffed, crossing his arms on his chest. He knew he was acting childish and he hated himself for that but_ damnit, _was it so hard to understand that he_ was _concerned about Fai? (Not that he'd admit it aloud, but that was an entirely different point). The damn blonde never let anything go, always acting like he was completely nuts, how was Kurogane supposed to know he wasn't just_ pretending _to cry but really touched –if not_ heartbroken _\- by a situation which –now that Kurogane reflected- was blatantly close to his own? Emotionally speaking, of course, it was Disney movie after all._

" _I'm sorry, Kuro-Pyon." Fai murmured. "It's just... sometimes I still feel I have to protect you."_

_Now, they were touching to the heart of the problem._

" _I'm not a kid anymore."_

" _You're only twenty one. Like it or not, you_ are _a kid."_

" _At any rate, I'm old enough to know what I want, and I want you to stop thinking I can't understand!"_

" _And what exactly makes you so sure you actually_ can _understand?"_

_There was a short silence, then Kurogane growled, his hand slightly twitching._

" _Well, for once I've known you for more than twenty years."_

" _You're not like me, Kuro-Chew. I don't think you realise how different we are. You're strong, and brave, while I..."_

" _Oh, not that crap again!" The brunet barked. "Come_ on, _aren't you fed up with thinking you're a piece of shit? Most people wouldn't even have survived_ half _of what you went through, stop being so stupid as to think it's_ nothing _."_

_Fai shook his head again, sighing heavily and set his eyes on the ground._

" _I..." he paused, clearly hesitating about what he was about to say. "I think it would be best if you slept at your place tonight."_

" _Why?"_

" _Because if you don't, I'm afraid I'll end up saying some things I might regret."_

" _As in 'something harsh' or 'something I don't want you to know'?"_

" _Both."_

_They were still not looking at each other Fai's gaze consciously locked away from Kurogane's. The brunet sighed somewhere above Fai's head, and then spoke:_

" _Pity I just handed back my keys."_

_Fai's head instantly snapped around to face him:_

" _You did what?"_

" _Handed back my keys. I can't afford living out there on my own. My things are at Chii's."_

" _You're going to live with Motosuwa-Kun and her?" Fai said, startled._

" _Actually, since I've been spending more time at your place than at mine for about four months, I was thinking of just making myself at home."_

 _Fai looked frozen for a few moments, white as a bed sheet. Then, just as Kurogane began to worry, he grew a very,_ very bright _shade of red, and drew a shaky breath._

" _Now, you_ really _need to sleep at Chii's tonight."_

" _Fai..."_

"Please. _"_

**oOo**

Kurogane had nodded, and no other word had been said until they parted on Fai's door... and the blonde had been surprised by the sharp pain tugging at his chest while he watched the brunet's back disappear in the staircase.

Fai had wanted to go and burry himself in his bed at that moment, but then the phone had rung, and he had spent two hours chattering with Trisha... which had been a good thing, because it had taken his mind off of his problem for a short while.

After that, he had tried to sleep, of course... but his brain hadn't agreed on letting him get a little peace and, soon, Fai had found himself dialling Lineos' number. It must be around dinnertime in Darwin and, even if Fai was slightly mistaken, his Australian friend was most likely at home anyway.

**oOo**

" _So, when are you going to spit it out?"_

" _What?"_

" _Your real problem." Lineos sighed on the other end of the line. "Don't you think I don't know what time it is in your corner of the world. It's too late for anyone in their right mind to be still awake."_

" _You must mean 'too early to have awakened already'... am I wrong?"_

" _Oh, shut up, you know what I mean. So what's going on?"_

" _Oh... Well, Kuro-Dee-Dee and I went to the restaurant tonight... or yesterday... anyway, it was nice, really..."_

" _But?"_

 _Fai sighed._ He knows me too well.

" _That's because we're more alike than you'd think." Lineos grunted, as if reading his thought. "What happened?"_

" _He told me... He told me he wanted to come and live with me."_

" _I assume he's not currently at your place, then."_

" _How do you..."_

" _Told you we were more alike than you thought." The Australian sighed heavily. "I reacted exactly the same way."_

" _You know," Fai sighed, "it's not that the thought isn't... nice, to say the least... it's just... just that..." Fai paused, inhaling deeply, running a hand through his hair. "He's ten years younger than me and..."_

" _Rubbish."_

" _What?"_

" _I said 'rubbish'. It's not about his age, you and I both know it. What's the_ real _problem?"_

_There was a long silence as Fai desperately tried to catch his breath. When he finally succeeded, his voice came out a bit strangled and shaky, bordering on a sob._

" _What if he changed his mind?" Fai whispered. "What if we couldn't overcome our differences? What if it didn't work? What if... what if our families and friends disapproved? What if tabloids… discovered our story and began bothering him? What if our affair prevented him from finding real love?"_

" _Did you just call your relationship an '_ affair _'?" Lineos gasped. "Come on you nutshell! I've known you for twelve years and it's more than enough to know you wouldn't even_ dream _of dating that guy unless you were head over heels for him!"_

" _But, Line…."_

" _You know what? What if you stopped making a fucking mountain out of a mole hill and told him the truth… which is that you can't wait for him to move in?"_

**oOo**

Fai had tried to counter that. Really. However, nothing he had thought of would have efficiently silenced Lineos. So in the end, the blonde had had to admit his friend was right.  
He was pretty certain Lineos had muttered something like "about time" before they both hung up, but he didn't really care.

It had taken him several minutes to muster enough courage to grab the phone and dial Kurogane's cell phone number.

"So you've finally gone completely nuts, haven't you?" Kurogane growled sleepily when he picked up the phone.

"I uh… I might have." Fai said tentatively.

"Great. Congrats and all that crap and good night."

He had almost hung up when Fai stopped him:

"Actually!" the blonde listened for his boyfriend's breathing for a split second before he went on: "I uh… I wanted to know… do you, hum, do you have anything scheduled for tomorrow lunch?"

"We're already tomorrow, you dumbass." He sighed. "No."

"Good. 'Cause I thought… Maybe we could… you know, hum… well, get your boxes at my place?"

Fai hesitated, and Kurogane could picture him torturing the phone's cord. A smile slowly spread on his lips, and he had to restrain himself from chuckling at Fai's incertitude.

"Th-that is i-if you… still want to… hum… you know…."

"Okay." The brunet cut in. "Twelve o'clock, in front of my Ninjutsu class?"

"Perfect." Fai sighed, and it was easy to tell he was relieved. "Good night, Kuro-Sleepy."

"Yeah, night."

When Fai laid the phone down, he knew for sure he wasn't going to have any sleep that night… _But in the end_ , he decided, _it's totally worth it._


	29. Surprises Under The Mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

"I thought you didn't want to work with children?" Hiromu asked, surprised.

"Yeah, well, that's about the only option I have if I want to teach Ninjutsu… so kids it'll be. Can't be worst than teaching hormone-ridden, spoiled teenagers anyway."

"Don't worry dear," Sonomi reassured him, "you're nearly twenty two now, you're old and wise enough to make your own choices. It's just a bit… surprising, seeing as it's so different from what you've always wanted to do."

"Don't make such turns a habit, though." Hiromu joked as Kurogane huffed. "Or next thing, you'll tell us that you've abandoned women in favor of men."

Kurogane managed not to flinch.  
Truth be told, he had never really switched from women to men. He had switched from useless (and loveless) relationships with women to a (not so) stable and loving relationship with Fai. Of course, as a young boy, Kurogane had thought he might have been gay. He had even tried and kissed a guy, once… but that hadn't been a good experience (especially since the guy's boyfriend had engaged Kurogane into a fight shortly after). In the end, he had had to admit to himself that, really, it was only Fai. It had always been Fai. Somehow, Kurogane had never mistaken the twins. Not even once.  
Perhaps he had always loved Fai more than Yuui.

Whatever the answer was, Kurogane knew that loving Fai was something truly unique. It wasn't like loving his parents, or one of his many girlfriends. It wasn't like loving a woman, and yet it wasn't like loving any other guy either. Somehow, Kurogane realized, loving Fai –and getting in a relationship with him- had proved to be much more of an adventure than he would have first thought. Fai, with his moronic looks and his totally brainless-like behavior, had proved to hide a much deeper (and sometimes, darker) personality… and strangely, it seemed that the more Kurogane discovered of this not-so-fool Fai, the more he fell in love with him, with how complex he could be… how strong and fragile he could be… even though it was sometimes awfully difficult.

"Something's wrong, Kuro-Kun?" Chii asked as she passed by him on her way to the kitchen. "You look like you're about to eat someone."

"Must be hungry then."

Chii laughed heartily and kissed his cheek before she hurried toward the fridge, her petite silhouette easily dodging Hideki's possessive arms, and Kurogane sighed.

Sometimes, he really did envy his best friend's relationship with her boyfriend. It seemed so simple, so easy for them to be in love: they were not afraid to speak, not afraid to show how they felt, or explain it… it seemed to be natural to them.

Kurogane… had never been good at telling how he felt. He hated to admit it, even to himself, but he knew he wasn't very talented with words… they intimidated him.  
Of course he knew how to use them for technical and practical conversations, he could even be charismatic when he wanted and needed to… But to put his feelings in to word, to dig into his own heart and voluntarily unveil its content, to freely divulge his deepest, most intimate thoughts was something that frightened him to no end.  
Chii had once told him he shouldn't be so afraid of being hurt, of being wrong… at first he had forgotten that sentence, thinking the blonde girl had spent too much time with her brothers… but then again, perhaps she had been right. Perhaps that was the reason why Kurogane couldn't speak in tender ways… maybe by acting like he didn't care, he would be able not to care for real.  
But then again, what he had to say could definitely not be taken seriously if he said it like he didn't care.

Besides, Fai's behavior didn't help him at all. No matter how different Kurogane and the blonde could appear, they were very alike in some ways. Fai was always smiling and cheering everyone up, speaking loudly and moving too fast for others to see his eyes shining with fears and doubts… but in the end, he told as little about himself as Kurogane did.  
With his smiles and easygoing attitudes, he managed to keep most people away from the real him, never really letting go of anything… the only real difference between them on that point was that, opposite to Fai, Kurogane didn't try to hide the fact that he kept his feelings for himself.

Perhaps that was why they had never talked about the ring.

Yes, the ring. Two years after Ashura's death, Fai still wore his wedding ring. Of course, insensitive as he pretended to be, Kurogane _did_ try to understand. He knew Ashura had had a very positive effect on the blonde's life, and his death had more than shocked him… besides, Fai was someone who got easily attached to objects, it was not surprising that he kept one so important to him for so long….  
Nevertheless, the golden ring was a painful reminder of Ashura… of the fact that, to Fai, Kurogane was probably only a replacement.

Deeply gone in his thoughts, Kurogane didn't even realize that he had crossed the living room to enter the hallway until he bumped into the very object torturing his mind.

"Oh, Kuro-Pyon!" Fai smiled, though a bit shakily. "Why aren't you inside with the others?"

"Why won't you call me by my proper name, even once in a while?"

"Because I like nicknames better!" Fai teased. "Besides, I don't recall you calling me by _my_ name either… Well; except for that time on Yuui and I's eleventh birthday, but I'm not certain you were totally conscious of what you did back then."

Kurogane rolled his eyes and was about to retort, when his gaze fell on Fai's left hand, and he couldn't help noticing the lack of golden shine on his ring finger.

"You're not wearing your ring." The brunet said flatly.

"Yes!" Fai defended nervously. "I… I'll probably never really leave it but…" He shrugged and took a thin golden necklace out of his shirt, exposing Ashura's ring to the dim light. "I thought… I thought it was high time I stopped considering myself as only a widower… I mean, it's been… two years already and… well, keeping the ring on might have been a bit… uh… cruel, to you."

Kurogane knew for sure that he wasn't a man of words. He had never really been comfortable with them, especially not when they were supposed to express tender feelings, and therefore found himself unable to answer Fai's words, for his throat was too tightly clenched by emotion.  
And so, since he couldn't find anything appropriate to say, he did the first thing that came to mind. Pressing Fai to his chest, he kissed him with all the tenderness and love he was capable of.

"Silly Kuro-Mine." Fai chuckled when he was finally able to speak again, "It's not even midnight yet."

Kurogane followed his lover's gaze to the ceiling and realized they were standing right under a bunch of mistletoe.

"I don't give a damn about that." The younger man grumbled.

And, as if to prove his point, he kissed his boyfriend once more… and that was when things went wrong.  
Because, in the blink of an eye, Freya and her two little brothers appeared in the hallway, and as soon as she saw her uncles kissing, she ran to the dining room and shouted:

"Uncle Kurogane and Uncle Fai are cheaters! They're not waiting for midnight to kiss!"

Unfortunately, Chii had always been very quick and, before either Fai or Kurogane could move, she stood before them in the hallway, her eyes wide with astonishment.

"Well," Yuui's voice breathed after a long silence, "serves me right for not believing one can find surprises under the mistletoe."


	30. For Better And For Worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

"You had to choose Kurogane." Yuui grumbled. "Out of _all_ the men you know, out of all the fans out there who would be _begging_ for the right to _kiss your goddamn foot,_ you just _had to choose **Kurogane**!_ "

"Tu ne pourrais pas parler français?" (1) Fai whined.

"NO! No, I can't speak French! I thought we were twins! I thought you trusted me! I thought you'd tell me something this important! Well, seems I've been mistaken!"

"You _have_ my trust!" Fai defended. "You've _always_ had it!"

"Like hell I have your trust!" Yuui snapped, turning away from Fai. "Then why didn't you speak to me about Fei Wong? Why didn't you tell me about those moronic bastards beating you every time they had the chance to do so? Why didn't you tell me you were depressed? Why didn't you tell me about Ashura's cancer? Fuck, Fai, why won't you _speak to me_ anymore?"

There was a long and tense silence, only disturbed by the hushed sound of Tomoyo's voice. The rest of the family had gathered in the kitchen while the twins were locked in the spare room, where Fai was only beginning to understand what Yuui might have felt, ever since Fei Wong Reed had entered their life.

"I…" Fai sighed heavily and blinked some tears away. "I never wanted to hurt you. It's just…"

His throat clenched painfully, and Fai crossed his fingers over his heart, falling back into a long un-used habit of communicating with gestures.

_I only wanted to protect you._

Yuui nodded in acknowledgment and mimicked Fai's gesture. _I want to protect you, too._ Then, as Fai tried to speak, Yuui seized his hand and entwined their fingers together. _We need to protect each other._

"You can't deal with everything by yourself." Yuui whispered. "What use is there in speaking a language no one else understands if it doesn't help you speaking to me? Why can't you tell me when there's something bothering you?"

"You were happy." Fai murmured. "You were free –or so I thought. You deserved to be happy, that's what I wanted to protect… you, Chii, Tomoyo, Kuro-Pon… I didn't want to tell you about that, because I…." Fai choked back a new wave of tears and clutched tightly at his brother's finger, before he went on: "I needed you all to be happy. If I could make sure that you were happy, then I could go on living and… well, I needed that."

"But it destroyed you!" Yuui protested. "This behavior got you in the hospital… You even lost an eye in this stupid story!"

"I know."

Fai's voice was so low that Yuui wasn't even sure he really had heard him speak. Fai raised his head again, and the dim light coming from the city outside the window caused his eyes to look mismatched: the left one, crossed by the familiar scar, shining in a more pale and pained way than the other.

"I know," Fai repeated, "but if I had to do it again, then I would. Because that's who I am."

"Because that's who Fei Wong caused you to become. You weren't like that before. You were sincere, and calm, and genuinely cheerful. And now… look at yourself, Fai! You spend your time pushing everyone aside… pushing _me_ aside! And yet you are what's most precious to me."

"And so are you. It's just that… Maybe we're too different to remain as close as we used to be."

**oOo**

"Are you telling me Fai and you are really alike?" Tomoyo huffed, raising an eyebrow. "You're kidding, right?"

Kurogane only grunted.  
He wasn't really surprised, after all, he knew very few people could see the likeness between him and Fai… And yet, he couldn't help being disappointed that his own sister was unable to see it. True, she was ten years older than he, and they hadn't been that close despite their love for each other… Yet, he had hoped for a bit more understanding.

"I'm only telling you how things are… or at least I'm trying to. If you don't believe it, I can't force you."

"But Fai's ten years older than you!" Sonomi protested. "He's like my _son_!"

"Well, so was Yuui, and no one complained when he married Tomoyo!"

"That's not the same!" Hiromu tried to explain. "It's just that…"

"It's just that it's fine for Fai to be gay, but not for Kuro-Kun to love him."

Chii flinched when everyone's gazes fell upon her, but she did not back off. With Freya in her arms and Hideki in her tracks, holding the twins, she stepped in the kitchen and turned to her foster parents:

"I know it's not easy to accept the fact that your son loves a man, but if it makes him happy, then you should support him, whatever the situation. _I_ do." She stared at Sayoran before adding: "and as his best friend, _you_ should support him, too."

Sayoran looked sheepishly at his feet, before throwing an almost apologetic look toward Sonomi and Hiromu.

"Well… I guess she's right." He said, a bit unsure of how to put it. "Besides… I've supported him for the past ten years or so, it wouldn't be fair of me to let him down now that he's finally happy, right?"

Chii nodded, her throat too tight to speak. She knew she was trembling from head to toes, and she also knew that not even Hideki's comforting hand on her shoulder could calm her. And then, as she was about to burst out with nervous tears, Kurogane got up from his chair and hugged her tightly.

"Thanks."

The voice was low, even lower than a whisper, so that Chii new no one but her could have heard it, and yet it was one of the most comforting thing she had ever heard.  
There was a tense and uncomfortable silence as Sonomi and the others tried to decipher their own thoughts and feelings toward Fai and Kurogane's new relationship… but then, Fai suddenly burst through the door, which banged against the kitchen wall.

His cheeks were heavily flushed and he looked so angry that even Yuui, standing behind him, didn't dare interrupt him.

"That's it," he yelled, "I've had enough!"

Yuui shot an apologetic look toward the occupants of the kitchen before Fai went on:

"I think with all the shit that happened in my life, I've earned the right to be happy, haven't I? And I'm happy with Kurogane, so I'm not leaving him!"

"Not… not even if they all hate you for it?" Kurogane stuttered.

"I… Love you." Fai sighed. "And though I don't want your parents of my friend to turn away from me, I've made my choice… For better and for worse."

Fai stood uneasily in the middle of the room, surprised and embarrassed at his own outburst, nervous tears welling up his eyes. But then, Kurogane grabbed his arm and pressed him to his chest before deposing a soft, chaste kiss on his lips.

Obviously, Chii thought as she saw Sonomi and Hiromu's faces soften at the sight, their story was to begin with the "better" part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (1)"Can't you speak French?"


	31. From This Day Forward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

Kurogane flinched as he sat at the kitchen table, surrounded by boxes and various objects waiting to be packed, tightly wrapped in plastic so as to prevent them from breaking.  
Of course, it wasn't the mess that disturbed him –weren't it for Fai, the flat would have looked like this every single day of the year, give or take a few pair of socks here or there- after all, they were moving out, and that meant a lot of messiness for a good week… thankfully, most of their things had already been set at their new place, a –relatively- small house on the heights of San Francisco.

Though Sonomi and Hiromu kept on saying that they were moving too far from them, Fai was only the last of the four Tsubasa members to move out there… Sayoran and Sakura had been the first, because it was all the while closer from the band's Label's studios and more practical for Sakura, who wanted to have a go at acting. Then Yuui and Tomoyo had followed them, so that the family could spend more time together… Chii and Hideki had been the next to go, because Chii was pregnant (to Fai's despair) and she knew she would need to move there sooner or later if she wanted to have as much time as possible to spend with her children.  
In the end, Fai and Kurogane had found themselves compelled to move to San Francisco, leaving only Sonomi, Hiromu, Touya and Yukito in Savanah, like some sort of country boys moving out to the big town.

This, however, wasn't what bothered him either. Kurogane had known, after all, that being with Fai, sharing his life, also meant sharing his obligations. And though it took him away from his parents, Kurogane knew it was the best solution for them and their family life. Fai wouldn't have been able to be so far away from his siblings for very long, anyway.

No, what really bothered Kurogane was the dull throbbing in his lower back area, reminder of pain he had accepted, but not liked.

"Are you all right, Kuro-Meow?"

Honestly speaking, Kurogane wasn't really sure whether he was alright or not. Though seeing Fai wailk around with nothing but one of his own shirt on did help lighten his mood.

"'M fine."

"Obviously, you aren't," Fai laughed heartily. "You're still recovering for last night I presume?"

"Oh, shut up!" Kurogane mumbled, looking away.

"You needn't be ashamed of it, you know!" Fai soothed. "It's normal to feel a bit… uh… sore after that kind of night."

"Why did I accept it again?"

"Because it's been a year exactly since we got together." Fai answered. "And… I wanted last night to feel like a real first time…"

"I can assure you that it _was_ my first time on that side!" Kurogane growled. "And it has only comforted me into the idea that I do _not_ want to reiterate the experience!"

"Why not? It's nice to change from time to time… and besides, I'd never been on top either so, see? You sort of got my virginity."

The blonde chuckled when Kurogane nearly choked on his morning coffee, before he gestured to the boxes waiting for them around the room.

"Well, I suppose I should go and get dressed, right? We can't leave too late or it'll make the journey longer."

Fai flew out of the room as Kurogane let out a stream of curse words at his stained shirt. Well, at least the day began in an energetic manner, right?

**oOo**

"Eh merde!"

Kurogane lazily opened his left eye: Fai and him had been driving since the morning in a long repetition of the previous days, and he'd been trying to sleep instead of wondering about what had compelled him to accept to go to San Francisco by car instead of just taking a plane.  
These thoughts, however, were quickly swept away as he noticed the gathering that took place between the expansive villas and duplexes.

"Aren't they supposed to make sure tourists or fans can't do that?" Fai mumbled while putting on his ever-present I'm-you-kind-star smile. "Oh, and look, there are paparazzi as well."

"Great. And here I was beginning to miss having them watch our smallest moves." Kurogane grunted.

Fai let out an embarrassed sigh, knowing full well that Kurogane only got attention from paparazzi because he was his lover… had he been a simple friend, he'd have been left in peace. He parked the car as close to their door as he could, given the amount of people standing before it, and squinted his eyes when flashes started to fill the air as he made out of the vehicle.

Bringing their last boxes out should have been a simple matter of minutes, but the pressing presence and questions of the crowd made it way longer. Fai kept his eyes to the ground, his smile never wavering (in fact, it even grew wider as he realized that Kurogane's frowns and scowls got the crowd to back off significantly).  
In the end, a little more than an hour after their arrival, they were finally done with the moving of the boxes, and Fai went to park the car in the parking lot specially designed for the neighborhood's rich inhabitants.

As he made his way back to his new house, he noticed the pink hair of Mimi Tachikawa, who smiled at him from her own window, Yamato Ishida's protective hands set on her pregnant belly. Fai smiled back at them, genuinely so, and resumed his walk… one of the reasons why he had chosen this particular house, despite its lacking a front yard, was because he already knew most of the neighbors, since they were either members of _The Wolves_ or of _Tsubasa_.

As the blonde strode to the stairways leading to his doorstep, he was arrested by a journalist wearing a shiny green dress and a pair of almond-shaped glasses, her long, green-nailed fingers tightly clutching a fake peacock feather.

"Mister Flowright! Sir! How does it feel to move in with Mr Daidouji? Are you happy to finally live in the same home as your partner in life?"

"Actually," Kurogane grunted from somewhere near the door, before Fai had had any chance at a reply "that's 'Husband to be'."

The blonde's head snapped around so quickly he was pretty sure he heard his bones crack, but he couldn't have cared less.

"That's… what?"

"Husband to be." Kurogane's voice didn't waver, but a blush was slowly making its way to his cheeks. "If you want to, that is."

"Kuro-Squeak, is this a proposal?"

"Only if you want it to be one."

Flashes and fangirls happy squeals resonated in the hot air of the august afternoon as Fai jumped to Kurogane's neck and kissed him passionately, not caring in the least that hundreds of eyes –and cameras- were capturing their every moves.

"I'll take that as a yes, then." Kurogane smiled against his lover's lips.

Fai nodded and then turned to the crowd, still watching them with eager curiosity.

"I'm sorry ladies and gentlemen," he said, "but I think it's time I left you know… you see Kuro-Mine and I just got fiancés, and that appeals for a lot of celebrations… you know, wild sex and all that!"

And before Kurogane could even _think_ of protesting against this shameless unveiling of their _very_ private life, Fai had thrown a victorious 'V' toward Mimi's window and dragged him inside their new lovebird's nest.

"Seriously, did you _have_ to tell them we were going to have sex?" the younger man asked as Fai lead him upstairs, where no one would see them from the street.

"Why? Isn't that the case Kuro-Mine?"

"Well, yes it is but…" Kurogane sighed. "You didn't have to tell them… and what's with this new nickname anyway?"

"Better get used to it Kuro-Mine!" The blonde chuckled against his collarbone, his finger working on his lover's shirt. "Because from this day forward, I'll never give you any other name. I want to make sure that the whole world remembers that you're utterly, totally and forever _mine_."

Kurogane impatiently tugged his shirt off, before gathering Fai to his arms and kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

He could definitely get used to the idea.


	32. Living Legend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

"Of all the rock bands that roamed the 20th century and beyond, very few managed to impose their image and music to our memories. _The Jonas Brothers_ , _Tokio Hotel_ and other _Killerpilze_ -yes, you have known and loved them, dear readers!(Well I didn't know them in the first place) were quickly forgotten as soon as their fan came out of their teens and their calibrated music fell out of fashion. Of course, our century has also known great bands –everybody remembers _The Rolling Stones_ \- but out of all those great artists, the two band that truly stood out were _The Wolves_ and _Tsubasa_ , both having been the first bands to base their international career on a repertoire mostly sung in Japanese, with very few English songs… This month, as a celebration of Yamato Ishida's ( _Founder and leader of_ The Wolves _, nb_ ) tenth death anniversary, _Music Idols_ is proud to present to you an exclusive interview of Fai Flowright, founder and leader of the great _Tsubasa_. He has kindly accepted to look back on his life and ca…"

Ten years old Amaterasu stopped her reading when she noticed her grand uncle raising a hand to his face with a doubtful frown.

"Did I read something wrong Uncle Fai?" The young girl asked.

"No, no, you read wonderfully!" Fai smiled, his voice still clear despite a thirty-six years-long career of singer. "It's just that I'm not this fond of this magazine. Especially not when they're speaking about me."

"But Momma says it's great that the press still mentions your work seven years after you stopped to sing! She says all members of Tsubasa, and you in particular, are living legends!"

"When you'll reach my age young girl, you will learn that being a living legend really isn't that important. It's nice, but I could have lived without it."

"But I'll never be you age!" The little girl protested. "Seventy-two is waaaaaay too old!"

Kurogane's knuckles gently hit her on the back of the head and Fai burst out laughing at her surprised and confused face.

"Trust me brat, old or not, he's still as brainless as he used to be."

Kurogane joined his husband of forty years on the couch and allowed his Grand Niece to nest herself in his laps. She buried her face in his neck, leaving only an eye out so that she could stare laughingly at Fai's smiling face. Grabbing a white strand of hair, she then proceeded to bring Fai's head down on Kurogane's left shoulder, which caused the younger man to wince.

"Now, now, Matsu-Chan, you know you can't put too much weigh on Kuro-Mine's left arm, or it'll be painful for him… he's an old man now, he needs to take care of his rheumatisms!"

"But it's cute when you do that!" the girl pouted. "It looks like your wedding picture!"

"Why don't you go in the office and take the album out then?" Kurogane grunted. "This way Uncle Fai can rant non-sense while I take a nap."

Amaterasu instantly jumped to her feet and ran out of the living room with happy squeals: Uncle Fai always had some funny stories to tell while looking at the old photographs, and she loved to hear it, even though they were almost always the same. Besides, it was also very fun to wait until Fai tried to get some help with his memories from Kurogane, and often ended up getting only a loud snoring as a response.

"Thank you." Fai smiled toward Kurogane before planting a kiss on his shoulder.

"I know you like to look at it… and it _does_ take her mind off of me long enough to for me to take a nap."

"You've changed." Fai remarked. "Few years ago, you'd never have admitted to enjoy you naps."

"Well considering that my own snoring sometimes wakes me up, it would be difficult to deny my sleeping. Besides, you've changed too… when we got married, you'd never have told me about your eye."

"I'd have had to tell you about it eventually." Fai sighed, lifting a hand to touch his right eye. "I figured I should let you get prepared for it." He shrugged. "It's not like there's anything to be done about it… as doctors said, I'm even lucky it only started last year. I'll really miss seeing the photos, though. I can touch your face, or Chii's, or Tomoyo's, or the children's… but with photos, it's impossible."

Fai shrugged again, shooting a 'bah, it's life' smile toward Kurogane, who sighed and leaned in to kiss him.  
Fai was becoming blind. Doctors had said that his right eye had gotten tired of doing twice the amount of work it had been programmed for, and that sooner or later, he would stop seeing at all. Though Fai had had to wear glasses for more than five years by this time, it had never gotten really alarming, and only the previous year had they learned what would be the final situation.  
Of course it had been a hard blow for the family, especially since the news had fell but three weeks after Hideki had lost his ten years-long battle against cancer… but as Fai now said, at least he had time to get accustomed to the thought and, besides, he wouldn't be alone: Sayoran, Sakura, Tomoyo, Chii and Kurogane would be here to help him.

At last, Amaterasu came back with the heavy, blue photo album in her thin pianist hands. She settled herself between her two grand uncles and opened the book on her laps, smiling in advance at the anecdotes that would come. Without hesitation, she flipped through the time-yellowed pages, skipping over pictures of the two men in their earliest years, preteens, teens and early adulthood, some surrounded by friends, some with only family… some, even, with a tall, black haired man who had been Uncle Fai's first husband, until she found the page on which they had stopped the previous time.

It showed Kurogane in his early twenties, tall and proud in his black tuxedo, his hand firmly anchored on Fai's waist. The blonde, who wore a white smocking, was smiling happily, his head resting on his husband's left shoulder. He was holding out his left hand to the photographer, so that the silver ring adorning his ring finger was clearly visible. Around them stood friends and members of the family, all smiling and laughing under the flames-colored foliage of the surrounding trees.

"I love that one." Fai let out his usual, contented sigh. "Look, Grandma Chii pregnant with your father!"

"Yeah," came the usual, laconic reply from Kurogane, "and Hideki was annoying the hell out of me with his non-sensible ramblings about pregnancy and all its consequences! Should have saved this crap for someone who actually had experimented it!"

"You're being unfair Kuro-Mine. It was their first born!"

Kurogane humphed and Fai kissed him on the cheek before going back to the picture.

"I had never noticed Yukito-Sempai was blushing this heavily." Kurogane commented.

"I think Touya had just proposed to him." Came Fai's reply. "Either that, or Fleya had put some ice cubes in his trousers again."

"Maybe a bit of both?" Amateratsu suggested.

"Yeah, Fai smiled, maybe." He sighed, then added, "You know, I really hope they're together again now."

"Hmm."

Yukito had died at thirty-three, less than a year after the photo had been taken. A woman in her mid thirties had had a heart attack while driving and, when she had crumbled to the floor, it had sent her car right to the pavement… and right into Yukito.  
After that, Touya had chosen to bury himself in work so as to avoid thinking about his deceased husband too much. Politics had always tempted him, so he decided to prepare for the local elections. His career had been really brilliant: it had not been long before he became Mayor of San Francisco, then Senator and then, finally, president of the United States. And then one day, during his second presidential campaign, he hadn't woken up. He had been fifty-two.

Amaterasu turned the page and giggled at the sight of her great grandparents posing in their swimming suits over a fast asleep Kurogane, who had been written on with sun care lotion… the inscription said "Private property of Fai Flowright".

"I can't believe you kept that one!" Kurogane growled. "They look as brainless as you."

"But it was sooooo funny!" Fai giggled –and Kurogane had to admire his ability to squirm on the couch despite Amateratsu's presence on his laps. "And I like to have a reminder that you are definitely mine."

"As if you needed that."

"You're right, that's only funny."

Amateratsu giggled as Kurogane silenced his annoying husband with a –not so- chaste kiss on the lips, and went on a few pages forward.

"Hey!" Fai exclaimed when the picture showed Hiromu holding a very, very red baby who was obviously wailing. "Ryû's first photo!"

"He looks angry." Amateratsu remarqued, her thin fingers caressing her father's baby face. "Reaaaally angry."

"Well I suppose he'd been warm and cozy in your grandma's belly, so it's only logical he was frustrated." Fai smiled.

"Stupid wailing thing he was at the time." Kurogane yawned, his eyes betraying his words.

"Well I remember someone who spent his first month crying his lungs out as soon as he was woken up." Fai smiled. "And I was the only one who could calm him."

"Like hell it's true!"

"Kuro-Mine! Not in front of the kid!"

"Go and get me some tea girl, I need to swear."

Amateratsu giggled as she got to her feet and made her way toward the kitchen. Fai followed her as she ran out, but soon felt Kurogane's gaze on his neck and shot him a confused glance.

"Is anything wrong Kuro-Mine?"

"Why did you tell her you were the only one who could calm me when during my first month?"

"Well… because it's true!"

"No it's not… not to her anyway. She thinks _Yuui_ was the one who managed to calm me down. As do everyone but Chii."

Fai's eyes widened for a brief instant at his mistake before he smiled fondly to his husband.

"I don't think I've ever thanked you properly for that."

"For what?"

"For not telling anyone." Fai explained. "After all, we were lying to everyone including your sister… you could have wanted us to tell them the truth."

"What use would there have been?" Kurogane huffed. "When Ashura died and I learned the truth, you'd been Fai for longer than you'd been Yuui. You wouldn't have answered to your true name anyway."

"Still. Thank you."

Kurogane rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to his husband's forehead. Right at that moment, the doorbell rang and, though Amateratsu instantly announced that she'd be answering, Fai still got up to join her.

"We'll have to change the couch…" He announced while helping Kurogane up. "It's too low, one day we won't be able to get out of it anymore."

Kurogane grunted, rubbing his back and cursing whatever God had thought of creating rheumatisms, before opening the door. Karura, Freya's first daughter instantly threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on both cheeks while her younger sister, Karyobinga, took her little cousin in her arms.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd finally show up!" Fai joked a he welcomed his niece and her family. "The twins aren't here yet, but I think I just saw Ueda's car pass in the street… I'll go and set the pastas on their way while Kuro-Mine serves you some drinks, right?"

"Do you want any help?" Milo –Freya's husband- asked.

"No, thank you Milo-Kun, I'll be able to do it by myself!" Fai smiled. "However, I'd appreciate it if you could go and help Chii-Chan out of the car, her broken leg is giving her quite the trouble."

"I'll go do that then."

Fai walked toward the kitchen and busied himself with starting the cooking of the pastas. Kurogane and him –especially him- had always liked to welcome their family and friends over on Sundays, so as to enjoy a good meal together. Mimi and Yamato had often joined them in the past, and Mimi still liked to have a cup of tea with Fai from time to time.

The front door opened once more and this time it was Ueda, Chii's second son, who stood in the doorway. Yumi, his wife, was now six-months pregnant with their third child, which didn't prevent her from holding Shiryû –her first born- in her arms. Fai greeted them from afar and they directed themselves to the living room, where they'd be welcomed by the rest of the family. Chii came next in an apple-green wheelchair, her right leg entirely immobilized, Milo driving her as carefully as he could… which wasn't easy, because she always told him to be faster.

Fai finally went back to the living room while Kurogane opened the door for Takeru and Daisuke, along with their own families.

"Goooooood morning Family!" Takeru greeted in his custom, noisy way. "Aren't the Lis here yet?"

"They're on their way." Ueda, his younger cousin, answered him. "As far as I know, they're waiting for Touya and Hyoga to be done with…"

"Sex?" Nine years old Yasha cut him.

"Now, honey, who taught you that word?" Ryû asked his second child.

"Uncle Touya did." The blonde answered without missing a beat.

"I think I'll have to talk to him about that."

Fai laughed heartily at his nephew's word. Perched on a bar chair, he was now sipping his custom cherry-flavored drink, all the while keeping an eye on his now large family. Eight nephews and nieces plus their respective companions, along with their twelve (soon to become fourteen) children did make a big assembly. Besides, Sakura

"It's a good thing winter's now over." Fai whispered into his husband's ear, "because the living's literally packed."

"Mabe we should have an extension made." Kurogane answered, all the while picking up little Rose, Daisuke's third and last daughter. "This way we'd be able to welcome everyone in a warm place. "We'll have to think of it soon, yeah." Fai smiled. "Especially since Karura-Chan seems set on marrying this Maxwell of hers."

"Better be careful, you're beginning to sound as though she were your little sister of something."

"Grand Niece's Complex." Fai stated very seriously.

"Does that mean that all their respective boyfriends will have to undergo the same treatment as Hideki?" Chii asked from their right.

"I'm afraid it does." Fai smiled.

"Cool." His sister replied with a grin. "I'd hope you'd say that… I'll finally get my revenge!"

The two siblings laughed at their own, silly attitude, and the doorbell rang for the last time of the day. As Fai opened the door and revealed Sakura, Syaoran and their family, he was nearly blinded by camera flashes.

"Mrs. Li! Mrs. Li!" A journalist bellowed, "Mrs. Li, please, just a word!"

"What's all the commotion about?" Kurogane grunted as the various members of the Li Family passed by him in a hurried way. "Please Touya, tell me you didn't propose to Hyoga in front of the press!"

"They want a word with Mom." Yukito, Touya's younger brother explained. "They've been bothering her for days… you know, because of her Oscar… twenty's an absolute record."

"Can't they understand that Mom needs rest?" Nadeshiko –third and last of the Li children- added as she helped Sakura to the living room. "Her heart's giving her trouble, why do they have to add stress in her life?"

"They're vultures." Hyoga grunted. "And stubborn ones at that.

Of course, he should know…  
Hyoga was a young and very famous model who had worked for Tomoyo's company for a long while before moving to a designer job. He and Touya –who was to inherit his Godmother's company after her passing and already worked with her- ranked among some of the most famous faces of the moment, and it had taken a while to get the paparazzi not to follow them when they came at Fai and Kurogane's.  
Usually, since Sakura was now sixty and rarely played in movies anymore, they left her alone. But the fact that she had received a twentieth Oscar only months before had once again propelled her in the spotlights… not to mention that Fai's announce of his blindness to come had created quite the shock in the V.I.P world. And since most members of the family had managed to make their first name well known in their various domains of activity –For example, Chilolu, Ueda's pastry company, was one of the most appreciated of all the U.S.A- their monthly reunion were a real blessing for the tabloids… it wasn't surprising they tried to make a good use of such a mane from time to time.

"I'll take care of that." Fai sighed, letting Sayoran enter the living room.

"They'll get even crazier if they see you…" Kurogane warned.

Fai waved his concern off and stepped out of the house, careful not to let the door stay open behind him. As expected, flashes exploded once more and he couldn't help but close his eyes for a while, waiting for the excitation to fall down a bit before he spoke.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen… first of all, good morning." He smiled, one of those plastic smiles they all liked so much –because they didn't know they were fake- and went on. "We all appreciate the interest you and the public have in us, despite the passing of the time. However," and his voice was strong when he spoke, despite the pounding headache and the strong wish of going back inside, "what you are presently trying to witness does not belong to the Star's life, but to those of normal people. There are children here, children we want to have a normal life… So I'm going to ask you to leave immediately. Otherwise, you would leave me no other choice than calling the police." He waited until he saw some reporters beginning to put their cameras back in their bags and slightly bowed. "Thank you."

Once again, he slipped through the door and sighed, relieved, all the while rubbing his back. He was getting too old to bow so low.

"Hey!" Mû, Nadeshiko's boyfriend exclaimed, "they really are leaving!"

"How did you do that?" Yuzuhira –Amateratsu's mother- asked.

"Well," Fai smiled, "No one can resist the will of a living legend!"

There was a great collective laugh and Fai took a seat while Daisuke brought the pastas on the table and began serving everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, longest chapter of the fic!  
>  Oh, and just in case you were confused, here is a recapitulative of the family as it is now :)  
>  In **Bold** , it's the original cast's status. In _Italic_ are their children's. In normal, that's the Grand Children^^  
>  Those who are dead are indicated by a (D) following their name.  
>  The names between ( and ) are those of the grandchildren who aren't born yet.
> 
>  **Yuui (D) & Tomoyo:** Freya, Takeru & Daisuke.  
>  _Freya & Milo:_ Karura, Karyobinga.  
>  _Takeru & Ashley:_ Trisha & Ted -Twins  
>  _Daisuke & Miyako:_ Sakura, Lucille, Rose.
> 
>  **Chii & Hideki (D):** Ryû, Ueda.  
>  _Ryû & Yuzuhira:_ Amateratsu, Yasha, (Marine), (Seiya).  
>  _Ueda & Yumi:_ Shiryû, (Ikki), (Shun)
> 
>  **Sakura & Sayoran:** Touya, Yukito, Nadeshiko.  
>  _Touya & Hyoga_.  
>  _Yukito & June:_ (Shaka).  
>  _Nadeshiko & Mû:_ Shunrei & Melissa. –Twins  
>  **Touya(D) & Yukito(D).**


	33. For As Long As We Both Shall Live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I wish they were mine... but they're not

"Take off your shoes please, Dad won't be home for a while, but he's a bit iffy on that. Especially since today's the cleaning day."

"Oh… Had I known, Id' have waited for another day to come over…"

"Don't be ridiculous! You're most welcome! It's just that your shoes aren't."

Souma ran an embarrassed hand in her hair and followed her girlfriend toward the living room, where she was greeted by a tall, long and dark haired young man.

"Hello girls!" He smiled. "How're you doing Appa-Chan?"

"Fine, thanks!" she said, hugging him tightly –and her head barely reached his chest when she did so. "How are _you_ doing?"

"Your cousins are giving me troubles, as usual!"

Souma admired the spontaneous, clear laugh that escaped her girlfriend's lips and the way her head fell backward as she did so.

"Souma-Koi, that's my uncle Yasha." She introduced, smiling. "He's mom's little brother, and the second of the Motosuwa children. Uncle Yasha, this is Souma, my girlfriend."

"Oh, so you're _this_ Souma!" Yasha smiled. "Maybe I should take you away to ask you a few questions… you know, just to be certain you're not going to harm her…"

"Oh no you don't!" Kendappa laughed, grabbing Souma's hand to drag her toward the staircase. "She won't hurt me, she's not a boy!"

"You just hurt my masculine pride very badly!" Yasha's voice protested behind her.

"Go and ask Auntie Samantha to fix it up!" Kendappa retorted cheerfully.

She giggled as she noticed Souma's red cheeks and embarrassed moves, as though she had witnessed something she wasn't supposed to see.

"Oh, don't worry about that!" Kendappa smiled. "He and I always do that. In fact, I do that with almost all my family… Mom says I've inherited a mix of Grandpa Fai and Grandpa Kurogane's character… she also says it's not really a good thing."

"Now, wait a minute!" Souma exclaimed, stopping dead in her track in the middle of the corridor. "You said your mother's maiden name was Motosuwa, right?"

"Uh… yes… is this a problem?"

"Is… I mean, was your Grandmother Chii Motosuwa from _Tsubasa_?" Souma stuttered.

"No."

Souma sighed deeply at the answer, all the while relieved and a little bit disappointed. But then, as she followed Kendappa to her bedroom, the smaller girl gave her a very bright smile and added:

"She was my Great Grandmother."

"But… but… how come I never learned about it?"

"Well," Kendappa explained as she sat on her bed, "first, I don't want it to be too known… I don't want people to take interest in me because of my family. Its fortune draws enough dishonest people to me and my cousins as it is. And besides, you never asked me anything about my grandparents."

Souma couldn't help but feel her mouth open and close on its own accord as she desperately tried to process the information she had just been given.

"So…" she managed to say after a full minute of struggling, "that would mean that 'Grandpa Fai' and 'Grandpa Kurogane'…"

"That's right. Fai Flowright and Kurogane Daidouji. There's a photo of them on the wall, above my desk… it's been taken during my fifth birthday party… my whole family's on this one. Pick it off, so we can have a better look at it."

Souma slowly walked to the desk, her heart violently pounding in her chest at the idea of going out with one of the descendents of a member of her all-time favorite band.  
It took her a while to spot the picture Kendappa had told her about, for at first she was unconsciously looking for a photo resembling the posters that hung on her bedroom's walls. When she realized her mistake, she took a hold of a large group's picture and came back to her girlfriend's bed, where she sat cross-legged.

"That's me." Kendappa explained, pointing to a very small little girl who was tightly hugging a blonde boy's neck. "And this cute little boy here is my cousin Vivian. He's Auntie Trisha's fourth son."

"Auntie Trisha?"

"Actually, she's my Mom's older cousin. See, those three girls here… they're Ryûji's older sisters."

Souma took a long look at her girlfriend's cousins' faces, as though trying to engrave them in her own memory, as though she wanted the picture to feel like she could have taken it herself.

"This is my Uncle Seiya. He was the youngest of the family. He died of blood cancer a few years ago, like my Great grandfather did. I hadn't met you yet at the time... I remember, when he died, Grandpa Fai was a total mess. Grandpa Kurogane spent days and days trying to comfort him, but it took him months to recover from the blow."

"Where are they?" Souma asked softly. "On the picture, I mean."

"Here."

Kendappa pointed at two old men, one was so thin he looked like he could be swept away by the wind at anytime. His face was smile, and the wrinkles around his mouth looked like the rivers of long-gone –but not forgotten- tears of joy and sorrow. Souma instantly liked his face. It looked as though all the emotions he had ever felt were engraved in his wrinkled cheeks, as though his lips only wanted to blurt out words of comfort and happiness. His eyes were pale and unfocused, as though looking away, and Souma couldn't help but let her finger caress this area of the photography, as if trying to understand the secret of these piercing eyes.

"He's blind." Kendappa said, as though reading her thoughts. "He lost sight when he was seventy-nine or so. Just after Grandma Tomoyo died."

"How did she die?"

"Heart attack. Mom says that doctor said she could have made it out alive, but she didn't want to come back to a world where Grandpa Yuui wasn't. You see, _he_ died at sixty-five…"

"Ah, yes, I've read something about that in an old magazine!" Souma agreed. "They said he died of an aneurism after one of _Tsubasa_ 's concert. That's what caused the band to stop performing, is that right?"

"Not really." Kendappa smiled. "Mom told me they'd planed to stop their career soon after that one anyway, because they were getting too old to bear the fatigue that came with the tours. Grandpa Yuui's death only made things go a bit faster."

Her eyes skimmed across the picture, memories and familial tales coming to her mind as she looked over her beloved ones' familiar faces.

"Grandma Chii died when I was twelve." The smaller girl went on, pointing to a petite woman sitting in a wheelchair. "Grandpa Kurogane was so devastated he couldn't even help Grandpa Fai to get over it. Grandma Chii had been his best friend like… forever. It was like losing his twin, in a way. Grandma Sakura –she pointed to an old woman wearing a soft pink kimono, and an old fashioned Japanese-like bun- died shortly afterward, in a Car accident. I remember Grandma Chii and her used to come with us at Grandpa Fai's, and they'd bake us Cookies… and since my cousins and I were all so curious and couldn't help trying to have a look at what they did, Grandma Chii would threaten to throw us in the oven like the bad witch in _Hansel and Gretel_ , and Grandma Sakura would look horrified and tell us not to worry, because Grandpa Sayoran was very brave, and he would protect us. Mom told me that, at the beginning, I used to cry a lot because I was so short, I was sure Grandpa Sayoran would never see me in the oven and he would let me be cooked with the pastries."

Kendappa smiled fondly, and her finger pointed to a tall man who looked like he had been quite strong in his youth, whose red eyes rested on Fai's face, with a soft look that betrayed his stern composure.

"I remember one time, after Grandma Chii had threatened to get us into the oven, I cried for a very long time, and no one could calm me down, not even Grandpa Fai –and I've always been very fond of him. But then, Grandpa Kurogane came into the kitchen and yelled at me. He said 'With all the noise you make, there's no way in hell the brat would miss you, even if he were as blind as Fai!'… and after that, I was never afraid anymore at the oven joke."

She laughed heartily, soon joined by Souma, who then proceeded to rest her head on her laps.

"I love them both so much… I mean, we all love them, of course –especially Uncle Touya, Grandma Sakura's son- but they're like… my favorites. They're both so full of life, so optimistic… and they're such a beautiful couple! Can you believe that Grandpa Kurogane has been in love with Grandpa Fai since he was twelve?"

"Wow!" Souma approved. "And how old is he, now?"

"Ninety four." Kendappa answered. "He's been in love with Grandpa Fai for eighty-two years… that's to say he's loved him all his life! And they have been married for seventy-two years, when the tabloids of the time were sure their story wouldn't last more than two years, what with Grandpa Kurogane being ten years younger…"

"Wait, do you mean that Fai is now…" Souma made a quick mental calculation, "one hundred and four?"

"Yes. And you should see him, he's so lively! I mean, of course he's very old, so he can't do everything he'd like to… but still, when you see him or Grandpa Kurogane, they feel so alive, and they act like newlywed sometimes… it really feels as though they'll never die." She paused for a while, smiling. "Would you want to meet them?"

"W… wait, what? You mean like… today?"

"Yeah!" Kendappa insisted. "They live right across the street, so it'd be very quick… plus, Grandpa Kurogane wanted to meet you, so it'd be perfect, wouldn't it?"

Souma made a very strong effort not to jump up and down with joy and excitement. Instead, she managed to keep her voice almost even when she asked:

"Do you think it would be alright for me to pose with your Grandpa Fai for a photo?"

**oOo**

"Are you absolutely sure we won't disturb them?" Souma asked for the tenth time. "I mean, we haven't given any warning so…"

"Relax Souma!" Kendappa playfully scolded her. "Of course it's alright. It's half past three already, their naptime is over by now. At worst, we'll find them in their bed, but I highly doubt it… they've never missed the alarm yet."

Souma indicated that she still didn't feel comfortable with entering her Idol's house without being properly announced but still followed her girlfriend, who smiled fondly at her shyness. Kendappa opened the front door and allowed Souma in, before taking her shoes off and shaking a small golden bell, which was fixed to the wall.

"Hello! It's Appa-Chan!"

As no one answered, she motioned for Souma to follow her and walked to the staircase. She followed the rails of the apparel installed in order to allow the two elderly men to go from one stage to the other without risking a deadly fall and guided her girlfriend through the house. The walls were covered in various photographs, magazines and awards, memories of long and colorful lives.

"When he became totally blind, Grandpa Fai insisted that they were all set in frames and hung on the walls." Kendappa explained in a whisper. "This way, he could ask someone to describe them to him whenever he wanted to, and it was like looking at it with his own eyes. When I was younger, he would often stop me on my way from a room to another and ask me to describe the picture nearest to me… that's what gave me the will of writing, by the way. I wanted to train and be able to give him the most accurate descriptions possible."

Souma smiled at her girlfriend's fond tone, but tensed again when the smaller girl stopped in front of a simple, elegant green door.

"This is their bedroom." Kendappa warned. "Don't worry, they won't be naked!" she added at her girlfriend's embarrassed look. "Maybe just a bit disheveled, since they'll be just waking up."

She knocked softly on the door and, as she received no answer, she allowed herself into the room. The two men were lying down on their bed, Fai's head resting on Kurogane's right shoulder, the younger man's fingers entangled in his husband's white strands. One could just picture them sharing a kiss before falling asleep. Kendappa looked at them with a tender smile on her face, but Souma couldn't help notice a discreet but persistent smell, one she had only ever smelled in her father's office...

"Kenda-Chan…" She said softly. "Kenda-Chan…"

"What?" Kendappa whispered. "Do you think we should wake them? They look so peaceful…"

"Kenda-Chan, I… I don't think they're sleeping…"

Kendappa turned a confused look toward her girlfriend.

"That's not funny!" She whispered in an almost desperate tone. "You shouldn't be joking about such things!"

"I know but… honey, I'm not joking." Souma sighed, replacing a long, dark strand of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "My father dresses dead people for their burials… I know how to recognize Death when I smell it. I'm sorry darling… I'm so sorry…"

She could feel her throat tighten and tears well up in her eyes. Kendappa, usually pale, was now snow-white, her eyes desperately trying to blink tears away.

"I… I won't be sad." She said in a somewhat hoarse tone. "I can't be sad."

"Why?"

"Because… Because Grandpa Fai always told me ' _You needn't be sad for people who die when they're old, you know…_ _Dying after a full and happy life is like going to sleep after a hard day's work._ ' … so I can't be sad…" she finished in a whisper, her voice lost as she tried not to sob.

"He… was right… I think." Souma whispered in her girlfriend's ear, wrapping comforting arms around her shoulders. "But the fact that you mustn't be sad _for them_ doesn't mean that you can't be sad because _you_ won't see them again… you have a _right_ to cry."

Kendappa didn't answer Souma's words. She simply buried her face in her girlfriend's neck and cried for a long, long time.


	34. A Very Long Lasting Crush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Disclaimer:** I think after all the time I spent with them, I have a right to say that they are somewhat mine.  
>  However, legally speaking, they're still CLAMP's.

It had been a year since Souma and her had found Fai and Kurogane forever asleep on their bed. She had cried oh so much, cried herself to exhaustions for hours and hours in a row, until she didn't think she would be able to cry any more… and then, there had been the funerals. Hundreds of people had elbowed their way into the cathedral, thousands more had watched the ceremony from giant screens disposed across the country, and she didn't even want to try and imagine how many of them had followed the event on their TV screen.  
She had been surprised at the new tears streaming down her face when her mother said a few word in their memory, when two of her cousins had played Fai's favorite piece of Mozart's… all the while, Souma's hand had been firmly set around hers, and the tan-skinned girl had never left her side. She had protected her from the hungry cameras waiting for them outside the church –even going so far as to punch a paparazzi to do so- she had directed her to the cars that had been appointed to bring them to the graveyard, where a more private ceremony was to be held. Souma had never left her, never wavered when Kendappa had gotten so desperate and tired that she had crumbled to the ground, her legs refusing to support her any longer. Though the death of her all-time idol had been a hard blow to her, she had never stopped to care for Kendappa's well being… and maybe that was why it had felt so natural to propose to her after the ceremony, even if they weren't even of age yet, even if no one really knew what their relationship would become.

And she had agreed.  
Now, one year after Fai and Kurogane's peaceful passing, it was time to sort their belongings –which had only been transferred from their attic to Amateratsu's. And Souma was still there.  
Hours they had spent looking through old clothes, choosing those which could stay, and those that should be given away… there had been tears, of course, but laughter also –much more laughter than tears- especially when Auntie Trisha had pulled out a reindeer outfit Grandpa Fai had talked Grandpa Kurogane into wearing for one of their nephews' earliest Christmas.

And then, in the end of the afternoon, Kendappa had felt Souma's hand pull at her sleeve. When she turned around, her eyes instantly fell on a box literally packed with DVDs, all hand-labeled.

"It must be Grandma Tomoyo's videos." Uncle Ted had said.

There had been a long silence, until Kendappa silently took the box from Souma's hands and began to go back downstairs, the others soon following her. She waited until everyone was settled in the living room to insert the first DVD into the player and press the button "play".

**oOo**

" _Mommy! I wanna see!"_

_The young, girly voice burst into laughter as vigorous hands in their early thirties lifted the child into the air, the hem of her red-fur rimmed white dress floating around her as a blonde man made her spin around him. The small child let out happy shouts of excitement, causing the adults around her to laugh heartily._

" _Now honey, that's enough," said a voice coming from behind the camera recorder. "Otherwise you won't be able to keep your lunch inside of you!"_

_The small girl laughed as she stopped spinning around, and she tightly hugged the blonde man's neck._

" _I like it when you do that, Uncle Fai!" she giggled._

" _I'm not you Uncle!" he retorted. "I'm your father."_

" _Noo!" she giggled again. "You're Uncle Fai!"_

" _Prove it!" The adult dared her, which caused another fit of giggles._

" _You have a scar on your eye, silly!"_

_Fai pretended to be offended for an instant, before he smiled to his niece and shook her hand._

" _You're right Freya, I really am Fai. You're a smart brat, aren't you?"_

" _I think I am!" the child approved._

" _Hey, Smarty!" Kurogane's voice called from beyond the camera's reach, "tell your Uncle and Mother we'll eat their part of the dinner if they don't come over here quickly!"_

_Freya instantly squirmed out of Fai's arms and ran straight for the dining room. Fai soon followed her and Tomoyo followed his brother in law, her camera still recording. Everyone else was already seated, and there were but two places left: one on Yuui's left, and the other on Kurogane's right.  
Fai shot a surprised glance toward Hiromu, who raised an eyebrow._

" _What?"_

" _It's just that… since you've only been aware of Kuro-Miew and I being together for two days, I hadn't expected to be seated near him… not that I don't like it, it's just…"_

" _Oh, take your seat already!" Sonomi interrupted, blushing. "Since you've been in love for…" she paused. "By the way, how long have you been in love with each other?"_

" _I don't know for Fai," Chii smiled before anyone else had had a chance to answer, "but Kuro has been in love with him ever since he got married with Ashura!"_

" _Which makes…" Hiromu quickly calculated: "Nine years ago."_

_There was a long silence as everyone including Fai –maybe especially Fai- proceeded with the information._

" _I'm not in love." Kurogane finally protested in a grumpy tone, his very red face determinately looking away from his companion. "It's just a crush."_

" _Well, if it's only a crush," Fai laughed softly, "then it's a very long-lasting one."_


End file.
